Teh Soopr Gost Gurl
by Lady-Valiant
Summary: Danny Phantom and his friends have fought ghosts, but nothing can prepare them for what they find inside a bright, pink book...a Mary Sue fanfic!
1. Isabella MarieFleur Masters

*Author's Note: I do not own Danny Phantom. Sadly, all I own is 'SmexyPhantom' and the abomination known as Isabella Marie-Fleur Masters.

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It was a bright, sunny day in Wisconsin. The birds were chirping, the wind was blowing gently, and two ghosts were locked in an epic battle… Danny Phantom glanced quickly down to be sure Sam, Tucker, and Jazz were safe. The distraction was enough for Plasmius to blast Phantom, and send him flying. He came back, his eyes glowing green. "Plasmius, you-_ow!_"

The ghost boy caught a thick, pink book in his hand. "What is this?" he asked. "_Teh Ghost Gurl"._"

"Hm…it just fell from the sky," Plasmius said.

Gradually, both ghosts floated back to the ground, staring at the strange book. "Oh, let's read it!" Jazz exclaimed.

"Why?" Danny asked.

"Well, it _did _fall from the sky," Sam said. "Don't you think that's a little odd, Danny?"

"I don't know; I think we should just…leave it."

"What? Afraid of books now, Daniel?"

The halfa glared at him. "Fine. We'll read the stupid book."

***

"Here's how it goes," Jazz said, as the five of them sat in a circle.

Both Danny and Vlad were in their human forms, and Sam, who sat between the two, felt them glaring at each other over her head. "We'll take turns. Everyone reads a chapter," she said firmly. "Starting with…Danny."

"What?" Danny asked, catching the book as Jazz threw it at him. "Why me?"

Jazz shrugged. "Hey, who's the author, anyway?" Tucker asked.

Danny frowned. "SmexyPhantom?" he said, almost as a question.

"How…original," Sam muttered, a dumbfounded look on her face.

"All right," Danny said, "Chapter one…"

_The booytiful girl named Isabella Marie-Fleur Masters gasped in hooror. Dark, scarlet blood the color of rubys driped through her slender, long, whiteish-tanned fingers. She sobbed, her big, emerald eyes flecked with lavender filed with a single, tear like a single diamond. She had totally NATURAL blonde hair with green highlites the color of emeralds. And she had curves in all teh rite places. She was sooooooooooo hawt._

Danny blinked in surprise. "The spelling in this story…"

"Natural blonde and green hair?" Sam asked. "Sounds like a hair dying experience gone horribly wrong."

"Wait a minute. Her last name is _Masters_?" Vlad asked, beginning to get a sinking feeling inside.

"She sounds like some demon spawn of yours," Danny muttered.

"Danny, please, keep reading," Jazz said. "I'm finding this fascinating."

Danny sighed. "This is so stupid."

_That mean, evul jerky Vlade was always hitting on her! He was such a stupid jerk!!!111 an he like totally needed a breath mint and he was so evul an jerky and ew! Ew1 !_

"Daniel, would you kindly hand me that book?" Vlad asked.

Danny smirked. "No, I'm actually enjoying myself right now."

_"You- Isabella will lyke be my slave cuz like I'm soooo EVul!!!!11'_

_'Never!' she criecd. 'never, you evul Plasapus!'_

At that, Danny burst out laughing. "Oh man! It's like platypus! This girl is a genius!"

Vlad looked ready to murder Danny right there. Sam sank further down in her chair.

_Neway, the evul Plasapus beat her up cuz he was just that evul!!!1 an he was his only dauoter and all cuz he was a jerk. 'Danny will save me!' she declared. 'he'll kick ur ghost butt an you'll be sorry u jerk!'_

_Then he slapped her an sent he flying cross the room where sh sobedd life was soooooooo unfair!!!111 'but I'm ur daughter!' she cryed why're you doing this to me???'_

_'cuz I'm evil! Muhahaha!111 an danny phantom is gonna die n I'll role the world! Fear me!!! N then I'll make out with Danny's mom! Very passionetly!'_

"Gah!" Danny yelled. "That was a very _gross _mental image!"

"I do not act like that!" Vlad said. "I mean, I'm not evil!"

No one said anything. "Well…I mean, _from your perspective, _Daniel, have I _ever _beat you?"

Again, no one said anything. "Some support would be nice," Vlad muttered.

"No," Danny said, "Not exactly. I mean, not...like that."

"What happens next?" Tucker asked.

"Well, it's very…interesting."

_Ten, Isabella's perfect, crystal blue eyes-_

"Weren't they green?" Sam asked.

"I thought they were violet," Tucker said.

Vlad snorted. "What's wrong with her eyes? Is she a disco ball, or something?"

Danny shrugged and continued reading.

_Crystal blue eyes glowed brite, brite pink!!!1 Yes, they glowed hawt pink! An she said' it's over Plasmapus! I luv Danny n we're gonna live 2gether forever1_

_Never!!!!!' Palmius said._

_N just lyke that, Isabella blasted him n flew outta teh creepy dud's mansion gonin' faster the speed o lite!!!! 'I must find Danny!' she said._

_Ten she hit the grond. 'Oh, I am sooo weak frm fightin Vlade!'_

_Ten, out of nowhere there a sooper hawt kid. He woore a black suit with a 'd' in the middle, n he was soooo hawt. He ad white hair an glowy green eyes that glowed like raddeeashun._

"Raddeeashun?" Sam asked, looking down at the page. "Radiation, maybe?"

"I _think _so."

"Did she spell my name right?" Vlad asked.

"Er…no. She added an 'e' to the end. Vlade."

"_Vlade_? How stupid."

The millionaire crossed his arms. "I'm going to kill whoever wrote this."

_And he was like sooo cute. 'who are u?' he aksed, lookin stupid at the gorgeous Isabella._

_"I am Isabella Masters. My father is Plausims. He totured me n did lors o bad things, and I have ghost powers like u do!!'_

_'like omg!'_

_Isabella smiled. Danny looked soooooo cute when he was stoopidly staring at her beauty._

"I am _not _stupid!" Danny protested.

"Oh, I don't know…" Vlad said.

"Plausims?" Danny reminded him.

Vlad's eyes flashed red. "Give me that book, so I can shred it."

"Oh, you're just jealous because I'm totally hot," Danny said.

"Hey, where am I in this story?" Tucker asked.

"Right here," Sam said, pointing over Danny's shoulder.

"Hey, no reading ahead!"

Sam smiled sheepishly. "Keep reading, Danny," Jazz said.

_N behing him came a kid who looked lyke a techno dork. 'hey, I tucker. Ur cute.'_

_'hey, back off o my gurl!' Danny protested._

_'guys guys, now do't fight ova me!' Isabella giggled. It was sooooo cute that they woul fight ova her cept danny was hat an all. _

_Ten, there ame a mean creepy darkih evul lookin slutty prude._

Danny gulped. "Slutty prude?" Jazz asked. "Isn't that a contradiction?"

"Danny, why'd you stop reading?" Sam asked.

"Uh…well, heh. There's…um…"

"Just read it already," Vlad said, looking highly amused.

Danny's eyes widened. "She'll _kill _me!"

"Really?" Sam asked. "It can't be that bad."

_'danny! What're u don with her?'_

_'oh…yeah. Tis is wha…Sam. Sh's a crepe goth an creepy an dark n all._

_Isabella nodded in overstanding. Danny was suh a nice guy 4 takin in tat geepy goth gulr who was just jealous of Isabella's bootyfulness._

_Ten Sam stard crying. Danny ignored her. 'tat supid hussy,' he said. 'note like u Isabella._

_Isabella giglld, her voice sounding soft like slik and los of bella rins she was soooo purty. 'oh, Danny, ur sooooo cute!'_

_Ten, she kissed him, n they made out for five minutes straite. Danny was in shock cuz the only expecirne he had was with a prude hussy Samentha. 'say…we're you stay?'_

_'oh I runned away I don't got nowere o go!" Isabella cryed._

_"U kin stay at my hose,' Danny said slyly._

_'Ok!!!!11111" Isabella repled haply._

_Then. He pickered her up bridal style. 'I''ll take u to me hose where we can be alooone.'_

_Isabella giggled, and she gavev him a knwin wink. 'ok. Danny."_

At this point, a certain ghost boy threw the book across the room. "Ugh. Gross, gross, gross. I don't even _know _this girl!"

"I'll show _her _hussy prude," Sam growled.

"Well…five minutes straight," Tucker said, chuckling nervously.

Jazz was rendered speechless. Vlad walked across the floor and lifted the book from the floor. He opened it to where Danny was reading and whistled. "Daniel, my boy…whoa. You are…busy."

Danny's eyes widened. "Wha- wha- what do you mean by that?"

Vlad grinned. "I was talking about your activities in the bed with a certain Isabella."

"She actually _wrote _that!"

Vlad nodded. "Don't read it!" Danny protested.

Vlad winced as his eyes traveled over the page again. "If I have to suffer through this, so do you. Besides, I'm curious to see your reaction."

Danny gulped. By the end of the passage, the sounds of vomiting could be heard coming from a certain ghost boy. Sam looked as if she were about to join him. Tucker's mouth hung open as he sat motionlessly. Jazz held a hand over her mouth in silent shock. Even Vlad looked mildly disturbed by the whole ordeal. Danny walked shakily back to the table and sat. "I've been scarred for life."

Sam slowly nodded in agreement. "I…you know," Jazz said, "We _really _don't have to finish this book." There were just some things you _never _wanted to know about your brother.

"No way!" Sam protested. "You…you haven't even showed up yet! I had to suffer those insults, suffer my boyfriend going at it with that…that harlot! I'm not going to quit reading until everyone here has suffered as much as I have!"

"Yeah, and I had to read that horrible thing aloud! We're not stopping until _everyone _has to read," Danny said, defiantly crossing his arms. "Jazz, you're next," he added, smiling sweetly.

"I'm going to get you back for this, Daniel James Fenton," Jazz muttered.

"Wait. The chapter isn't over yet," Vlad said, passing the book to Danny. "You have to finish. At least _I _read the obscene part."

_After tey made luv n woke up, Danny stared at teh hawt Isabella sleeping. Her thick, black, delicate, fertile eyelashes flicked as she opened her gorgrous blue-green eyes flcked with gold an' silver. 'morning, bootyiful,' Danny whispered seducktivlee._

_'mornin ghosty-ghost..'_

"Ghosty-ghost!" Danny yelled. "That's almost as bad as Inviso-bill!"

"At least she spells your name right," Vlad growled.

_'Morning Isabella. Do u wanna you know…'_

_now not now! I no it's had to wait, but u know…I haven't any other clothes here. I oght to buy some._

_'I'll help uo my bootyful Isabella,' Danny said._

_'but I scard of that awful Plamoosus!'_

"Something just occurred to me," Tucker interrupted. "You're her father, and she doesn't know how to spell your name?"

Vlad didn't seem to hear him; he was probably still fuming over 'Plamoosus'.

_Anyhoow, Danny took Isabella shopping. He turned n2 his human half, but he was still cute with his messy hair and blue eyes an all. He smiled at Isabella, admin how she looked so skinny an almost anorexic but n a totly good way._

"How can she be that skinny and have curves in all the right places?" Sam asked.

"I have no idea," Danny replied.

_She tried on all the cloths but everthing looks soooo good no her. So she jus bouth them all n walked rond the mall wif Danny. She sid. War if plamais can ate em in tue all?_

"What if Plasmius came and ate them in the fall?" Danny tried.

"What if Plasmius can hate them?" Sam suggested.

"War would come if Plasmius…" Tucker shook his head.

The group soon decided there was no way of knowing what that horribly mangled sentence was supposed to say.

_Ten the evul box gost cam up in yelled stoopidly an stardmakin a mess, so Isabella turnd into her ghost half. She wore a short skirt tha showed off her gorgous leg an a tank top. Shelooked so hawr! Her air turned white with likkt steaks of lavender and pink, and her eyes turned pink too! 'ur a halfa too!!!11'Danny gaped._

_'Yes, now let's beat the box gost!'_

_Danny was soooo distract by Isabella' booty tat he was crshed by boxes, byt Isabella saved him._

"I would NEVER lose to the _Box Ghost_!" Danny yelled.

"It's because you were distracted by Isabella's 'booty'," Tucker said, snickering.

Danny gave Tucker a look that plainly said, 'If looks could kill, you'd be a pile of smoking ash by now'. "How much is left in that chapter?" Sam asked nervously.

Danny shrugged. "Only the author's note…er, not."

_Othur's not: I hoped u all likeed my story plz review!!! I know ya'll lal wanna see wat happens! An flams will be rpld to cordinly!!!!!11111 Tanks!_

_*SmexyPhantom_

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The-Real-Grammatically-Correct-Author's Note: I actually got this idea from 'Canon and Fanon Don't Mix'- an Eragon fanfic, and the author got that idea from someone else and so forth. It's basically pretending to be a fanfic that Danny finds, so if you review this story, you can leave two reviews- one for the whole story and another one for 'SmexyPhantom' and her story. It could be a good or bad review, but remember if it's for 'Smexy' she'll be answering within the fanfic.


	2. Poor 'Skulkee'

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom. The only things I own are the plot, Isabella, and a certain 'SmexyPhantom'. It's enough to make someone want to cry.

***

Jazz opened the pink book, turning to chapter two. "She'd _better _get my name right," Vlad growled.

"Not likely," Sam muttered. "She'd _better _keep her hands and other assets off _my _boyfriend."

"All right. Everyone let me read," Jazz said.

_Hey, yall this is SmexyPhantom. Don't u just looooove my story!?!?!_

"No," everyone said in unison.

_Yeah, and Isabella and Danny are sooooo cute together!_

Danny looked like he was going to be sick again. "If you do that on my floor, Daniel, you will be cleaning it up," Vlad warned.

The younger halfa glared at him. "Fine, _Plasmoosus."_

"Knock it off!" Jazz said.

_Yeah, in case u guys don'tt know I HATE HATE hate!!!!111 Sam!!!!_

"I would've never guessed," the Goth muttered sarcastically.

_Anyway, back 2 the story!!11 'Like we need u to meet my parents!" Danny said, holding hads with Isabella as they walked down the street._

_Isabella giggled. "I hoep they like me," she said woredly._

_"Tey will!'_

_'Ah, aren't they cute?" Tucker asked, walkig behind the couple with Spam._

_'No, Danny needs to stay away from herr, I don't like her!!11_

_Isabella clapeed her hands together. Sam mite be a jerky witch, but danny liked her for SOME reason, so she decided to give the emo girl a makeover._

"Over my dead body!" Sam yelled.

_She has to be emo cause she ware all black._

"Wearing black does _not _make you emo!" Sam protested. "Why that little… shallow tramp!"

Everyone looked at her in amazement. "Um…okay," Jazz said.

"We know you aren't emo, Sam. You're a smart, pretty, unique individual," Danny said.

"Oh, just kiss over it!" Tucker said.

Danny smiled and leaned in towards Sam. The girl reacted, and the kissed. "Ugh! Don't do that next to me!" Vlad growled.

They broke away, both blushing, as Tucker recorded the moment with his PDA. "Ah, teen love," he said.

Jazz began reading again.

_"Like we shold give Sam a makeover!!!!!'_

_'Oh, that's sooooo nice of you!" Danny said._

_"Thanks, ghosty-ghost!'_

_'do u really tank you could make me pretty?!?!" Sam asked._

_'Well, it might take some effort, but yeah, sr!'_

_Sam cried, hugging Isabella. 'Thank you! Yur sooooo nice!'_

"Danny, will you hold my hair back for me if I start puking?" Sam asked.

"Sure."

"Oh, come on, this isn't _that _bad!" Vlad said.

"Clearly, you don't remember that…_scene _from last chapter," Danny said.

_SaM came out wearing a blue shirt and white pans. Her hair was down. It was amazing what Isabella did with her, 'Ohhh! I look so pretty!!!!11" Sam cryeded._

_Isabella smild, her teeth gleaming as whie as snow. 'look, I like danny.'_

_'noo! Danny is MY bf! An my boyfriend!!'_

"Finally, something I would say!" Sam exclaimed.

_Isabella sighed. Some people were jst jerks!!1 'Well, u can't stop me!!!!111'_

_'ya, Sam I can likw who I want!'_

_'shes evul, danny!!1_

_'no, shes pure and beautiful and smart!_

"_Pure?_" Danny asked. "She's definitely _not _pure!"

"I'm not sure she's that smart, either," Tucker said.

"She probably takes after her father," Danny said.

The ghost boy cracked up at his own joke, and Sam sank lower in her seat. The death glare that Danny gave Tucker earlier was nothing compared to the one Vlad now had. Suddenly, the ghost smiled. "Laugh while it lasts, Daniel. As much as you _love _my daughter, I have a feeling you won't be laughing long."

"Y-you can't be serious. _No one _would write something like that more than once!"

Vlad shrugged, smiling wickedly. "Why don't you continue, dear Jasmine?"

_'Aaahh! That's sooooooooooo sweet!' Isabella said._

_Sam ran away and cryed. 'oh no, shes cryin._

_'now it's just us!' dany replied, winking._

"Please no, please no, please no," Danny begged under his breath.

_'yeah wanna go on a date er something?'_

_'kk,' danny said.._

_'I gotta change my cloths irst, Isabella said winking._

_Isabella came down the stairs. Her beautifull blonde hair hung past her waist n she wore short shorts that showed off her fine legs with a blue tank top that brought on the eyes! Danny stared, his gold eye wide._

"WHAT?" Danny gasped. "My eyes are _blue_! Did she just say my eyes are _gold_?"  
"Actually, she said gold 'eye'. Apparently the other is blue?" Jazz said. "Oh, wait, this explains it."

_(Yeah, yeah, I KNOW his eyes are blue, but danny with gold eyes is juar hawt!!!)_

"She can't just change my eye color!" Danny said, crossing his arms. "What's wrong with her?"

"Does she realize how hard it is to take care of hair that long?" Jazz asked. "I mean, my hair is that long, but I couldn't imagine trying to _fight _with hair that long. Also, if Plasmius here tortured here, why isn't she suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or something?"

"Actually, it hasn't even mentioned any bruises," Danny said, "Although if she's a halfa, she probably heals very fast."

_So they skipped haply to the mall to watch a chik flick movie cuz they didn want to wach a scary movie! And that mean Dash tried to hit on her, but Danny protected her. Then, there was that mean Valery! Isabella sigheded. Why was everyon e so mean?! Same hated her n so did vlaerrie and plasmiusd!!11 well, least fdanny loved her!_

"Did she spell my name right?" Vlad asked.

"No…actually, she spelled _everyone's _name wrong. She almost got 'Plasmius', but she added a 'd' onto the end."

"A _d_?" Plasmius exploded. "What is wrong with this horrible, idiotic, naïve brat?"

"And perverted. Don't forget perverted," Danny said, shuddering as he remembered a certain scene. "I'm so going to need therapy…"

"Not after I'm through with you, ghost child!"

A net flew down, trapping Danny in it. "Hey!"

"Skulker, let the boy out," Vlad said, rolling his eyes.

The ghost hunter frowned. "Why?"

"Until we're done reading," Vlad replied.

Danny, meanwhile, broke out of the net. "What…it's so pink," Skulker replied.

"Actually, Skulker, if you really want my pelt on your wall, you can take me- right now!" Danny said.

"What's wrong with him?"

Vlad smirked. "Daniel doesn't like the story."

"Oh, in that case, I'll stay and listen, too."

"What?" Danny asked.

Skulker shrugged and grinned. "I want to see what is making the whelp so distressed."

Danny sighed. "Read, Jazz," he mumbled, as Skulker hovered behind Tucker.

_After the movie they went back 2 danny's hose. 'who's she?' askeded danny's dad._

_'dad, this is Isabella, and shes, like, stayin cuz she lost er housw!'_

_'okay, son, whatever._

_'danny, I don't thick that's a good idea'_

_Isabella sigheded as a gurl with long red air and bleu eyes glared at her. 'no, it's a great idea,' Isabella said._

_'oh, okay. Wow, youre soooo smart!' the gurl said. 'I'm danny's sister Jazzz.'_

_Then, they went up tooo Danny's room an…_

"That girl is _not _smart," Jazz said.

Danny whimpered. "Not another scene…"

Skulker and Vlad laughed. Tucker had to try very hard not to join them as Danny clung to Sam.

_Kay, guss what? Now we'lll dooo Danns' pov so u guys know just how much he luvs Isabella!_

Danny's eyes widened. "Oh, please, no."

_I luv Isabella. Shes a gost just like me, and she understand me. She's soooo beootyfil. She has the most beautiful natural blonde and green hair and her pretty green eyes. Her body is totually hawt too. She has long, thin legs, and her assets are sooo much better than Sam's. they' firm and bigger and_

"I'm going to _kill you_!" Sam screamed.

Danny jumped back. Sam stood, seething, as she stared at Jazz and the book. "Uh… uh, Sam, there's…it's…um, not true."

Sam turned her glare to the stammering halfa. "I-I mean, I don't even know…um, I've never _seen _that much of you, so…it um, can't be true."

The girl slowly calmed down and smiled. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me."

She sat back down. "I'll have to remember not to bother the ghost child's mate," Skulker muttered.

_And her you-know-what is sooooo great._

Sam rolled her eyes. "Come _on_! Who dreamed up this sick, perverted mess?"

"Oh no!" Danny gasped. "How am I _going to sleep _after this?"

Everyone else in the room (with the exception of Skulker) stared at the book in horror. Clearly, the thought hadn't crossed their minds. "So…while you're all being quiet," Skulker said, "What's this book about? Who wrote it?"

"SmexyPhantom," Danny muttered.

Vlad frowned. "It's about this girl- apparently my daughter named Isabella. She's in love with dear Daniel here."

"And I've only spoken once," Tucker said.

"And she made me a stupid, emo jerk," Sam added.

"And she made me a child abuser," Vlad said.

"Oh, yeah, well, she…did the unspeakable with me after I only knew her for an hour or two!" Danny said.

"She made me _stupid_!" Jazz added.

"All right," Skulker said. "Am I in this story?"

Jazz shook her head. "No…not _yet_. Now, I'm going to finish Danny's thoughts here."

_Shes just soooooo good. And when we did it_

Danny and Sam both knocked over their chairs and raced to the bathroom. They returned a few minutes later, both looking as pale as ghosts (pardon the pun). "Please, tell me there's no scene," Danny begged. "Please, Jazz."

Jazz skimmed over the page and shook her head. "No, but Skulker is here."

"Really?" the ghost hunter asked, looking vaguely interested.

_Bugt before they could do it, that stupid bloby ghost hunter named sulkee cam and attacked them! I will captue Isabella for plasmiuus and then the ghost boy!!!111_

"SULKEE!" the ghost screamed in rage. "_Bloby_? I am Skulker, Ghost World's-"

"Greatest hunter," Danny finished. "We know. It's better than Plasmoosus."

Skulker nodded in agreement. "You just can't let that one go, can you, Daniel?"

"Nope."

_But Isabella went ntangeble and fazed threw the next. Then she and Danny kicked his butt and sent him into the Fenton thermos! 'OMG!' Isabella asped. 'plasmius knows where I am!_

"Plasmius, she finally got your name right!" Jazz gasped.

"Yes!"

"I bet it was an accident," Danny said.

"He's right," Jazz said.

_Olamius wont hurt u!' Danny said valiantly! Yeah, I' protect u!11_

_'Aahhhha!!11111 that's soooooo sweet!111' Isabella exclaimed. 'your such a great boyfriend!!11 I'm sooo oglad you left me for sammm._

_'Who?" Danny asked, winking smexily._

_Then, Isabella smiled, sitting on Dannys bef. 'do you wanna join me?"_

"NO!" Danny screamed, promptly standing and shooting an ectoblast at the offending book.

Jazz shrieked. At first, no one quite knew what happened- until the ectoblast bounced off the book and hit Danny in the chest. "My ectoblast didn't work!"

Everyone stared at the book. Jazz hesitantly opened it, sighing in relief. "Relax, little brother."

_Hahah! U thought they was gonna do it didn't ua? What pervert do u think I am!!? I just know you luved this chapter, so r n r!11 an here's the review srespones from meee!!1_

_*SmexyPhantom_

_Alexia Moonlight: I don't need no spellcheck!!11 and I does have a brain!!1_

"Really?" Sam asked. "Because I don't see any proof of you having a brain."

"She says she 'don't need no spellcheck'," Vlad said. "That's a double negative, meaning she _does _need it."

"Yeah, but I don't think she meant it like that," Danny mumbled.

_Amethyst Ocean: I does not SUCK!!121 and isabela would wipe the floor with Spam!!!1_

"Amethyst Ocean told her she sucked?" Sam gasped. "I was beginning to think _no one _had any sense left, and I would _so _wipe the floor with Isabella!"

_DarthDanielle: U told me to go play in traffic!?! Ur soooo mean! Gosh, I'm not stooped._

"I can't even begin to describe the hypocrisy in that statement," Vlad said.

"Hey, Plasmius, think you can arrange for a bus to come by while SmexyPhantom is playing in traffic?" Danny asked.

"Even better, Daniel, I'll run her over with my limo."

Danny nodded in satisfaction before frowning. Since when did he agree with Vlad Plasmius? _That _was almost as scary as this story.

_PPGBelle4: I am not a troll and this story is HIGHLYY original!111 ur just jealos!_

Skulker snorted. "Why would anyone be jealous of this brat?"

"Troll," Sam said, "I like that insult. Trolls are ugly and smelly."

"Oh, Samantha, did you forget how _smexy _the author is?" Vlad asked sarcastically.

_Nut and Shell: Like u r sooo mean!!11 I am a good writer, and you mjust insulted me!!!!_

"Nut and Shell is now my new best friend," Sam said.

"Mine, too," Danny said.

_That's all folkies! I know yalla just looooved this cahpet!1 the next one is Vlaade pov, so stay tuned!!11 be sure to read n review me!!111 _

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Author's Note: And there's another one! For those of you who asked, I do have a lot of ideas for this one, so it'll probably be pretty lengthy. Next chapter, _is _going to be from Vlad's POV, and I think the one after that is going to be very surprising. There are just so many Sues and clichés to play with. Read and review- for Smexy and me!

Alexia Moonlight: Many thanks. The sentence they couldn't figure out actually said, 'What if Plasmius came after them at the mall?'.

InspiredChaos: Glad you thought it was funny. That's what I was aiming for!

Amethyst Ocean: Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and yes, Sam would totally wipe the floor with Isabella.

RenesmeeScarlet: Thanks for the fave. I always wondered how they'd react, too.

DarthDanielle: I thank you, and Danny loves the idea of Smexy going to play in traffic.

PPGBelle4: Glad it made you laugh. Thanks for both reviews!

Kit's Shade: It's probably bad, but I was grinning hugely when I wrote this. Yes, poor Danny.

Nut and Shell: Firstly, I'm glad you liked it, and secondly, I just _loved _your review for Smexy.


	3. Not Another One

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot, the infamous SmexyPhantom, and the abominations know as Isabella and Elizabeth. That's really depressing. Anyone want them?

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Vlad Plasmius took the pink book, glaring at Danny and his stifled giggles. "What?"

"It's just you…with that book…you look so stupid!"

Vlad growled at the teenager. "Come on, read!" Jazz urged. "I'm getting so much for my psychology report out of this!"

Vlad sighed and began reading the horror that was _Teh Soopr Gost Gurl.  
_

_I gots soooooooooooooooo many reviiiews!111 I just know yalls are loving my story soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much1!!111_

"Well, then, she's an idiot," Danny said.

"An idiot _troll_," Sam added.

"Weren't most of the reviews she got _bad_?" Tucker asked.

"It's a cry for attention," Jazz replied.

"She likes the word 'so' doesn't she?" Skulker asked.

"Apparently," Vlad muttered.

_Lik tis chappteer is soooooooooooo good.11111 guess wat?!!? Danny has a long-loost cosin!111 WITH GOOST POWOWRS!!! Bectah didn see that coming, huh!?!_

"Apparently, ghost powers aren't so rare any more," Danny said.

_ANNYOWAU on with the chapter111111 and to tat brat who stucked that snake in my bed cuz they didn like my story die die die!!!!!!1111_

"Someone put a snake in her bed!" Danny gasped.

"I hope it was poisonous," Sam declared.

"Clearly not, as the girl is still alive," Vlad said.

_So Isabella and Danny were walking down the street._

"Wow, it's one coherent sentence!" Sam gasped.

"Although, technically, it's a fragment," Tucker said.

"At this point, I think we should be happy she spelled any of it right," Vlad muttered.

_The evul VLAD PLASMIUS_

Danny looked around Sam at the book. "That's not what it says. You have to read it the way _she _wrote it."

"And if I refuse, Daniel?"

Danny grinned. "You aren't scared of a book, are you?"

Vlad shot the boy a swift glare. "_Vladde Plauims."_

"How does the whelp manage to annoy Plasmius and live?" Skulker mumbled to himself.

_Vladde Plauims paced in his lab, talking to his fatt cat named Matty. 'I must get back Isabella an get my revenge on Danny Pantson!"_

_Eh wanted to marry sam, _

"WHAT?" Sam practically screamed.

Vlad stared at the book and shrugged. "I…I'm in love with Maddie…not you."

"Keep reading," Danny mumbled, patting Sam's hand.

_Yah she wasn't as purty or bootyful as Isabella. But Vladda likeded crepe and evul, so she was nice for himm. Er hair wasntt as soft or beaootyful as isabell'as but hey for an old, old old dude with no one hed take wat h ecould get!11111 soor Isabella had a chest, but ua no, she was NORMAL and not all crpe._

"I am not dark and creepy! There's nothing wrong with my hair!" Sam protested.

"Sam, there aren't words to say how scary that is. I mean, you and _Plasmius_, _ew_! That's like ten times worse than _Box Lunch_," Danny said.

"You're all forgetting something," Tucker said, "Isabella is his _daughter_. He shouldn't be comparing his _daughter's _beauty to anyone like _that_! I mean, what kind of father looks at his daughter's…chest?"

_he needed to destroys danny pansom!_

"What else is new?" Danny muttered.

_And he would do it with tat creeeeeeepy emo gurl's help!111 ten he wold get matty's lov and rule THE WORLDDD!!!!!11111 'muahahahahahhaah!!111' he laughed vuly!1111 yah, he needed to kiiillll danyy phantoms!!1111_

_Yeah, butt he was sooooo stooped tat his plans were overhearded by a girl named Elizabeth Gabriella Diane Swann. She was almost as purty as Isabella, but not quite as smexy! Her hair was long and brown and glowed redddd in tehh sun!11 and he eyes were grey fleckeded with gold!111 she was dannyyys cousin who ad goost powrs! (hahaaa!11 plot twist, rite?2 betcha yall didn't never see that one a coming'!!)_

"I didn't see it," Danny muttered. "I didn't see how this story could get _any _worse."

"That would be verbal irony, little badger."

"I hate irony," the younger halfa muttered. "Smexy here needs to go die in a hole."

Everyone stared as possibly the third-nicest person (after Tucker and Jazz) openly threatened someone. "What?"

"I knew you could learn to be ruthless!" Vlad said. "I'm so proud of you!"

Danny rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me that anybody in here doesn't want her dead."

"Well…not dead exactly," Tucker said. "I mean, that _scene _was bad, but…"

"You can say that because she hasn't _done _anything to you!"

"Yet," Skulker added with a smirk.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Tucker asked.

Skulker frowned. "I was doing some research while you were reading, and I think I know what these _creatures _are."

"They're not human?" Danny asked. "I _knew _they were aliens!"

"No, they're called _Mary Sues_," Skulker said. "Isabella most certainly is one, and I have a feeling Elizabeth is, too."

"What do they do exactly?" Jazz asked.

"They pair up with males in the story," Skulker explained. "Isabella clearly paired up with the whelp, so Elizabeth needs to pair up with someone."

Danny grinned widely. "Hey, Tuck, it looks like you might get a Sue! Congratulations!"

"He won't if I don't finish this story," Vlad interrupted.

_Elizabeth gaspdd. She needs to find danny phantom who her bested friend Isabella told her bout. 'I gotta go find ten!'_

_She flewed away goin' almost five hundred miles an hour!!11 9but not as fast as Isabella did)111_

"_What_?" Danny asked. "I top out about a hundred miles an hour. There's no way she could fly that fast!"

"Sues can do the impossible," Skulker said. "It's just the way they are."

_She sooon cam to amity park an saw a hawt girl in guy with a spooky goth emo gurl an a tecno due, though he was kinda cute n stuuf in a weird sorta way. 'I ocuold date him, Elizabeth mumbleded._

_'omg! Danny, its ur half-ghosty gocins Elizabeth!11 I missssed yooou!11111'_

_'o mssed u to1111'_

_the gurls hugged and ev eryone said 'aaahhh…' cept for Sammaenta cua she was a jerk ygoth emo girl._

"I am _not _emo!" Sam protested, glaring daggers at the book.

"Hey, Tuck, it looks like you got a Sue," Danny said.

"Be quiet, Danny," Tucker muttered.

_'liked plasiums is after you n wantts to role the world!!111' Elizabeth gasped._

"Wait. Didn't we _already _figure this out?" Danny asked. "What's the point of Elizabeth telling us something we already know?"

_'buuut youlll be safe cuz plasmius _

"Finally! That girl spelled my name right!" the bachelor said. "That's twice."

_Plmius wantts to kiiiiilllllll yoooouuuu!1111'_

"Duh," Danny said, rolling his eyes. "Just because I make average grades, doesn't mean I'm stupid. Anyone could tell you that."

_'I knnnew it!1111' Isabella said. 'cuz he sent that evul sulka afeer aus, but danny sent him backed into the Fenton thermos…….11111'_

_'its grate that u have suuuuchh an osome bf and boyfiredn!11 I wish I has one!11'_

_'kk, u can date tucker!11' Isabella said._

_Ten Isabella and EliZAbeth jumppped up and down screaming. 'oh my oh myoghmy!!!1111 yaaahhhh!1111'_

_Danny smiled, hapy that his girlfriends was soo happy._

"No!" Danny yelled, jumping out of his chair.

"What?" Sam asked.

"She said 'Danny smiled, happy that his _girlfriends_- that means there's more than one of Isabella!"

"I really think it's a typo," Vlad said, grinning slyly. "You'd better hope it is, Daniel, or you might have to do a threesome."

"You just went from being creepy to being perverted, Plasmius," Danny muttered, sitting back down.

"It's this author! She's corrupting me!"

"I think she's corrupting all of us," Skulker said.

"You're not corrupted. You missed that _scene_," Danny said.

"Scene? What scene?" Skulker asked.

Everyone shuddered. "You don't want to know," Danny said.

Vlad continued reading.

_And then they all went back to dannys hose and samm and jaz sulked in the livin room while danny and tucker used her and dannys room to well…heres what happened and stuff._

Danny, by now, had already thrown up as much as he possible could. Tucker, however, had not. Halfway through his 'scene', the techno geek fled into the bathroom. After it was over, Tucker limped weakly back into the room. Danny had a calm look on his face, but it was ruined by him cowering behind Sam's chair. "It's over now," the girl whispered.

Sam, however, didn't look much better. If she weren't so concerned about Danny, she probably would've leapt at the book and tried to rip it apart with her bare hands by then. Skulker actually looked disturbed. Jazz simply stared, unable to form coherent thoughts. Vlad was the only one who looked remotely composed. "Well, three chapters, and three scenes."

"Uh-huh," Danny muttered, dazed as he sat back in his chair.

"It's almost over," Vlad assured him.

_Danny woked with the bootyful Isabella sleeping delicately in his arms (aww,, _

_isn't tat sooooooooooooooo cuuutue!?!?)_

"No, it's soooo disgusting!" Danny interrupted.

_Isabella eyelids fluted open. They eyes shinned like glowing stars in a see of blue, lavender and grey- all the colors of tehh ocean!11_

"I've never seen any _lavender _in the ocean," Sam muttered.

_Welll make it and ill kill plaumis!11 he won't never hurt u!11'_

_'ahahhhhhh11111111!!1' Isabella said. 'tanks danny.!11 I luve u! and we're gonna be together forever and ever!1" _

"NOOO!" Danny screamed. "I'd let Skulker here hang his pelt on my wall before I'd spend the rest of my life with _her_!"

_Welll yallls this is the ends of the chapter!11 din' yall just absolootely loooove it!!? I bet cha did.1 I oughta rite for a living!!11 membr to review and all1!11_

_*SmexyPhantom_

"No, she does not! She's a disgrace to every _good _writer on the planet!" Sam snapped.

"I agree," Danny said, calming down slightly from his outburst. "I'd rather read some boring, old classic than _this_."

"Oh, don't forget the review responses!" Vlad said. "These are the only things that make me not lose faith in all humanity."

_PsychoKitty1991: I do NOT have bad speling! And my charriters are pwnsome!11111 ur mean 4 tellin me to die a ditch!1111_

"Yes, go die in a ditch," Sam said.

"I'll help bury her!" Danny said.

"Me, too!" Tucker added.

_Musiclover9419: I don't need no dictionary!11 I can spel great!1111 my scenes rock!!1_

"No, they do not!" Danny protested. "They're sick, putrid…"

"Vile, disgusting," Sam added.

"Perverted," Tucker said.

_Alexia Moonlight: I am like soooooo hapy u wuved my story!111 can u believe some mean jerky jerk stuck a snake n my bed!11_

"Funny," Sam muttered. "That 'jerky jerk' is my hero."

_Anahema's Abode: like how can u take a long walk offa short pierE? S not possible!_

"She doesn't even understand when someone is insulting her!" Sam gasped. "How pigheaded can you _be_?"

"I have no idea," Danny muttered, "But I hope she can't swim."

_PPGBelle4: like no one's gonna butn Isabella and make smores outta her!111 she pwns! I is not a bad writer!!1_

"I like this 'PPGBelle4's idea. Who wants some yummy Sue s'mores?" Skulker asked.

"I do!" everyone replied at once.

_Renesmee Scarlet: Danny does not act like a perv in this story!!!!!1111 and this story does not suck!11 mit ur just jealous cauz you didn think of this idea first!!!!11_

"I am not a pervert," Danny said.

"You do kind of act like on in the story," Sam commented. "What does SmexyPhantom know, though? This is just some twisted, perverted fantasy of hers. I seriously doubt Renesmee is jealous of this…Smexy."

_Amethyst Ocean: How dare u say Danny 'd never date Isabella!?!? They's prefect together!111 did you just try to cuss my out!?!!?_

"Amethyst Ocean is right. I'd _never _date that…that Sue! We are not perfect together!" Danny said, crossing his arms.

"I hope she _did _cuss Smexy out," Sam muttered.

_Torgo: Duh! Danny lost to the box goost because he was destracted!11 it oculd soooo happen!1111 theres nothing wrong with my head!!!_

"If you think Torgo is right, and something _is _wrong with her head, raise your hand," Vlad said.

Everyone in the room raised his or her hand. "Majority rules," Jazz said.

_SOLmaster: I am not a disgrace to all gifed writerers everywere!_

"Hey, didn't I say that earlier?" Sam asked. "That she was a disgrace to all writers."

"You did. Great minds think alike, I suppose," Danny said.

_E350: tis is NOTT a secet plot to make mericans look stooped!11 it's a great story!!111_

"I don't know; it's making you look pretty stupid," Sam muttered. "It is so _not _a great story!"

Vlad shrugged. "You're next, Samantha."

Sam took the book, hefting it in one hand. "Right. I'm going to take a deep breath…"

-------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: And another chapter is up! I hope you guys liked it. I have a feeling the next one will be even better; revenge is sweet. Now, for the real review responses!

PsychoKitty1991: *laughs* Yeah, Smexy is pretty perverted. I've had a few moments where I was drinking and had to laugh…didn't end well. I'm glad you liked it.

Musiclover9419: Yeah, Danny and Vlad would probably never sit around and read a book, but it just wouldn't be as funny without them. I'm glad I made you laugh.

Alexia Moonlight: Glad to see you review again! Smexy is too dumb to figure out when someone is lying to her (Sadly). Oh, Tucker _has _spoken twice. My mistake.

Anathema's Abode: The sentence was 'what if Plasmius came after them at the mall?' I'm glad you liked reading it. Yeah, it just wouldn't be as funny if everyone didn't get their own input.

PPGBelle4: Oh, I hope you get well soon! I'm glad to pick up your day while you're sick; I _know _how bad being sick is.

Renesmee Scarlet: Hey, anyone who can insult Smexy that badly is a friend of mine!

Amethyst Ocean: I'm glad I managed to keep everyone reasonably IC. Yes, Sam would totally wipe the floor with Isabella. I didn't know Amethyst Ocean was the pairing name for Sam and Danny, although that does make sense. Hm. You learn something new everyday, I suppose.

Torgo: Oh, heavens, I would die if something I wrote was worse than something Smexy wrote! No, Vlad won't be gay; Sues don't understand slash.

SOLmaster: Gulp. You actually _read _a fic with an Isabella? That's frightening… yeah, the thought of Vlad and Danny reading a bright pink book together _is _pretty funny.

E350: Thank you very much!


	4. Sue Hacked!

Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own Danny Phantom. I wish Hartman would let me trade Isabella and Elizabeth for him…

------------------------------------------------

Sam took a deep breath and opened the book.

_Hello, Readers, I have a surprise for you today._

Everyone stared dumbfounded at the book for several moments. "W-was that a coherent sentence?" Jazz asked, her aqua eyes widening.

"It…was," Sam said.

Everyone exchanged disbelieving glances.

_This is not SmexyPhantom, that arrogant brat who calls herself a writer. This is Lady-Valiant, and I'm here for revenge. _

"Oh, revenge. I'm beginning to like the sound of that," Vlad said, rubbing his hands together.

"So am I," Danny said, before flinching. He'd just agreed with Vlad Plasmius _again_.

_Smexy seems to have been poisoned with cyanide and nearly drowned after a reviewer suggested she take a long walk off a short pier. Despite what you may believe, Smexy, Isabella, and Elizabeth are the biggest Sues in existence, and they are going down._

Everyone cheered. Sam began reading again with a satisfied smirk.

_Sam noticed how evil Isabella and Elizabeth were, so she went to Clockwork, looking for advice. "Danny and Tucker have been brainwashed by the evil Sues," the time ghost said._

"I knew it!" Danny said. "There's no other way I'd _ever _fall for someone like Isabella!"

"Me, either," Tucker muttered.

_"In order to free Danny, we must destroy the Sues!"_

Danny jumped up, knocking his chair over. "Yes!"

_Clockwork pointed his staff at a portal, and two elves- one male and one female- appeared. They looked vaguely as if they were from the Renaissance era. Both looked as if they were in their teens. The male stood a little taller than his companion, and he blinked his hazel eyes in confusion as he surveyed the surroundings. The female looked around with suspicion in her lavender eyes. "Where are we?" the boy asked._

_"You are here to help Sam slay the Mary Sues."_

_"Mary Sues?" the girl asked, her eyes narrowing. "I _loathe _Mary Sues."_

_The boy nodded in agreement. "Sam," Clockwork said, "This is Elvin, and this is Andraste. They are here to help you defeat the Mary Sues."_

_"How can they be defeated?" Sam asked._

_At this, the boy- Elvin- smiled. "That's fairly easy. They can be defeated by good writing, slash, developed characters, anti-Sues, and logic."_

"Oh, this is gonna be good!" Danny said, chuckling.

Sam nodded in agreement.

_Poor brainwashed Tucker sat staring googly-eyed at Elizabeth, when Elvin came up and smiled at the Sue. "Hi, Elizabeth."_

_The Sue blinked at him and smiled. "Oh…hi. You're kind of cute."_

_The elf smiled. "Thanks. You're half-ghost, right?"_

_"Yeah," the Sue said, winking. "Do you like half-ghosts?"_

_Elvin shrugged. "How did end up being half-ghost when becoming half-ghost involves either being cloned or being nearly electrocuted?"_

_The Sue's eyes widened. "Um…magic?"_

_"How did you suddenly fall in love with Tucker when it took me years just to get kissed?"_

_"Love at first sight?"_

_"How can you possibly have eyes that are two completely different colors? How can your grammar be so bad? How is it possible to have curves in all the right places _and _be skinny enough to be anorexic, which, by the way, is a very _bad _thing?"_

_The Sue jumped up, gasping as her eyes turned an ordinary blue. "No! No, I'm not a unique snowflake anymore!" she shrieked. "But I'm perfect!"_

_Tucker slowly blinked and stood. "Wait a minute…he's right. It _is _impossible to be that perfect."_

_The Sue gasped. "N-no-no!"_

_Elvin smiled. "Good-bye!"_

_Elizabeth let out a bloodcurdling scream and melted into a puddle of sparkling, pink liquid._

"Yes!" Tucker yelled, pumping his fist into the air. "I got rid of Elizabeth!"

"Be quiet!" Danny demanded. "I want to see what they do to Isabella!"

"I rather like Elvin," Sam said, "Especially if he can get that Sue to get her hands off Danny."

Danny grinned. "I hope he blows my Sue up."

_Meanwhile, Sam and Andraste came across Danny and Isabella. "How are we going to defeat her?" Sam asked._

_Andraste smiled. "That's easy. I think I'm hungry. We're going to make Sue s'mores!"_

"YES!" Danny yelled.

_Andraste winked and approached the Sue. Isabella looked up and frowned. "Who are you?"_

_"I'm the main character of _my _story."_

_"You're not as pretty as me," Isabella said._

_"I'm not complaining. My boyfriend likes girls whose eyes don't shine like a disco ball."_

_The Sue gasped, angry at being told off by an average-looking elf. "Ur sooooo mean!!!"_

_The elf rolled her eyes. "At least I speak English. Did texting fry your brain or something?"_

_Elvin and Tucker quietly walked up to Sam, who'd ran to her house to get Hershey bars and graham crackers. "Andraste wants to make s'mores?" Elvin asked._

_"That's what she said," Sam replied._

_"Hm…well, Sues _do _make good s'mores. I'd better go help her out."_

_Elvin walked down the hill with Sam and Tucker following. "Hello, Andraste."_

_Andraste smiled. "Hi, Elvin!"_

_Isabella winked. "Hey, u wanna do me?"_

_The elf smirked at her and shook his head. "I'd rather do this."_

_He turned around and began kissing Andraste. The Sue screamed. "But I'm PERFECT! Everyone loves me!!!!! What do you see in her?"_

_The elf shrugged. "Well, it took us four years to get together. I'm not going to leave her because of _you_. At least she has personality."_

_"I can have personality, too!" the Sue yelled._

_Danny, sitting dazed on the ground, suddenly looked up. "Sam!"_

_"Noooo!" the Sue screamed. "You love me! Everyone loves me!"_

_Elvin smiled. "I don't, and he doesn't. I think…you're wrong."_

_The Sue screamed and burst into flames as logic was turned against her. "Why'd she burst into flames?" Danny asked._

_Andraste shrugged. "I'll never understand the ways of the Sue."_

_"Sam, I'm so sorry," Danny said._

_"Don't worry, Danny. You were brainwashed by the Sue. Who wants s'mores?"_

_The two elves, Danny, Sam, and Tucker sat around all night, eating tasty Sue goodness. The end._

"Yes!"

Sam and Danny jumped up from their seats and hugged. Caught up in the moment of being Sue-free, Tucker and Jazz did the same. Skulker gave Vlad a quizzical look, and the older halfa rolled his eyes. "The chapter isn't done," he said.

"Oh…"

Slowly, everyone sat down, blushing fiercely.

_If this wasn't the best story you've read, at least enjoy imagining the look on SmexyPhantom's face when she reads this._

"Oh, I know _I _will enjoy it very much," Danny said.

"Me, too," Sam said.

_Oh, but I did manage to hack in and get Smexy's review responses for the previous chapter. Enjoy._

_Alexia Moonlight: wat!?!!!?11!!?!!!1 ii toght u loved my story!?!!? U meanie!!11_

"How could anyone sane love her story?" Danny mumbled.

_Orpheus-izanagi: sam is soo not osome! Her an danny is eeeww!!!1_

"I'm going to have to disagree with that," Danny said, giving Sam a quick peck on the cheek.

"You are _not _about to have a make-out fest beside me!" Vlad growled.

_SOLmaster: danny luvs isabela111 she would never date spam1!!1_

"Wow. She's gotten so stupid she can't even spell her own character's name right," Sam said.

"I'd die before I'd love Isabella," Danny said.

_Nut and Shell: ur mean telin me to die and calling Isabella 'izzy'!!!! 'izzy' isn't cool or dignified!11111111 tanks 4 tehh oful writers award!111_

"I hope she does die," Danny said.

"I liked Izzy. I think from now on, that's what we should call Isabella," Sam said, "Because it annoys Smexy."

"Anyone opposed?" Jazz asked.

No one answered. "Izzy it is," Sam said, "And I definitely think she deserved an awful writer award."

_Musiclover9419: if danny red my story hed loooooved it!!!!11_

Danny burst out laughing. "What, Danny, don't you loooove it?" Sam asked.

The ghost boy laughed. "This girl is so…"

"Stupid?" Tucker suggested.

"Arrogant?" Jazz supplied.

"Worthless?" Skulker asked.

"A curse on all mankind?" Vlad said.

"One seriously crazed up fruit loop," Danny said, "But yeah, the rest is pretty much right, too."

_PPGBelle4: I am teeh only osome one here 111 wats deloosional?_

"You," Danny said bluntly.

_Torgo: but I is a good writa!!!1_

"In what parallel universe?" Sam asked.

Skulker snorted. "No one would consider this 'good'."

_Readergirl21: isabellas eye color don't change n I luv tucker1111_

"Woe is me," Tucker muttered.

"Her eye color does change!" Danny protested.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Clearly, this girl suffers from memory loss."

_Writeing Phantom: how could neone hate me!!?!?_

"Oh, I _wonder_," Tucker said, rolling his eyes.

_PsychoKitty1991: the cyanide thingy made me sick…..11_

"I love you, PsychoKitty," Sam said. "Thank you for poisoning Smexy for us."

_Anathema's Abode: lyk I gots highpothermia after jumpin in anarca! Its coolld!11_

"Nah, duh," Danny muttered. "How did this girl even _make _it to high school?"

_Amethyst Ocean: I don't not get is. How is sllence a good thang!!?!?_

"Maybe the reader was rendered speechless after reading such horrendous trash," Vlad commented.

Everyone laughed, then quickly silenced when they realized whose joke it was.

_Renesmee Scarlet: my characters aren't blonde!!11 n I cant take no bath cuz I is in antarciaca_

"Can we just kill Smexy?" Sam asked, sighing. "I feel like I lose brain cells just listening to her.

_E350: yous mean 4 cursin me!!111_

"Well, I hope those curses really work!" Tucker said.

Everyone was rendered speechless. Lately, Danny was the one with the loud outbursts- not Tucker. It seemed like the sheer stupidity of SmexyPhantom was driving him insane.

_Marise Kuari: lyk I is not rippin nething off!11 and I don't need to be exorcised!!11_

"I _knew _she was a demon!" Danny gasped. "It was so obvious!"

_I can't wait to see the look on Smexy's face! Good-bye, Readers! Enjoy…_

Sam smiled. "Next is Jazz," she said.

The girl sighed. "I bet Smexy is coming back," she muttered.

-------------------------------------

Author's Note: PLEASE READ. I hope you guys liked this chapter. I just thought it'd be fun to kill the Sues. If you're a little confused, no, I didn't really get hacked. The reason for writing this is this: do you want to kill the Sues and hack Smexy? If so, simply write a story where something kills the Sues and email it to me at reesemills09 gmail .com (remember to remove the spaces!) or message it to me. I'll write the character reactions and review responses, and you get credit for writing the hack. Depending on responses, I'll do a hack every few chapters. Just a simple story where someone kills Isabella and/or Elizabeth, but please make it PG13. Thanks!

Marise Kuari: Thank you very much. I love making people laugh.

Nut and Shell: Thanks, and I'm sure Smexy was excited to win her award.

E350: I took pity on poor Sam this time, and I _love _the Irish curses.

Amethyst Ocean: Well, I'm spoiling you because I'm trying to avoid doing a research paper on water pollution. Thank you very much for telling me _why _you like it; it helps me know what I'm doing right and wrong. Also, I'd probably kill myself if I spelled as bad as Smexy does.

Renesmee Scarlet: Well, I'm glad insulting Smexy is providing stress relief. You're the second person to almost choke water all the place reading this (and Danny knows you were flaming Smexy- not him).

Anathema's Abode: Curiosity is part of the reason the book hasn't been vaporized, but it's also that the book is indestructible. Not even Danny's ghostly wail can destroy it.

PsychoKitty1991: Hey, I read Fanfiction to help me forget drama at school, too. It gets pretty crazy sometimes.

Readergirl21: Yes, Spam. It's kind of an ironic name, huh? I couldn't resist the Pantson, but if Smexy can't spell Sam, how is she going to spell 'Phantom'?

Torgo: Yeah, I liked the threesome comment, too.

PPGBelle4: Glad to see you feeling better!

Musiclover9419: Yes, revenge is very, very sweet.

Nut and Shell: Smexy better not come back as a ghost. That might just push me over the edge!

SOLmaster: I know! I've scarred poor Danny for life!

Orpheus-izanagi: Many thanks!

Alexia Moonlight: lol. I'm glad I haven't lost my touch. It'd be depressing if I couldn't make anyone laugh.


	5. You Will Remember My Sue

*Author's Note: You didn't _really _think that was the end, did you? I'm afraid not! *cue maniacal laughter* Also, I owe a special thanks to Alexia Moonlight for suggesting a new mutilation for Sam's name. I cracked up reading it. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom. Sadly, I only own the two Sues- Isabella and Elizabeth. They're up for adoption if you want them! No bids, huh? _None_? Curses.

-----------------------------------------------

Jazz Fenton stared at the pink book of horror in her hands. "Very well," she said, trying to stall for a few more minutes.

"Just read already, Jazz," Danny muttered.

His sister sighed. "For the name of psychology," she muttered.

_OMG!!!! Tat stooped beotch Lady-Valint hacked into me account!!!11 flame her tat jerky jerk!11 I hops she falls into a hole an dies1!!!!!!!_

"Funny," Sam said, "I rather liked Lady Valiant."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

_Neway hers how tehh REAL storie is posed to go n all~!!! Enjoy!11 hahahha!!! Shell neeeeeber figure out me new password!!! Its tey charravter that I hate more tan any other person in the whooollle world11!!!!_

"Oh, so it's either Samantha or me," Vlad said. "One of us is her password."

"It's me," Sam said. "She can't spell your name."

"She _did _called you 'Spam' one time," Danny pointed out.

Sam sighed. "Now _no one _can hack her account because if her password _is _one of our names, she won't spell it right!"

Jazz smiled sadly. "Maybe I should just keep reading."

_Isabella blinked her beautiful eyes as she looked at tehh sleepin gost boy beside her! He was soooooooooo hawt!111 his eyes were sooooooo gold!!1_

"My eyes are _blue_!" Danny yelled, jumping out of his seat and glaring at the book.

Jazz dropped the book and jumped out of the way as her brother released his ghostly wail, knocking the book into the fireplace. The ghost boy watched darkly as everyone floated towards the fire. Suddenly, the book burst from the flames, hitting the bewildered ghost boy in the head. "It…didn't…burn," he said, his eyes wide.

Jazz carefully took the book from her brother. "It must be indestructible," Vlad muttered.

_Ten tey heard ann awfullll screechin noise!11111_

"My ghostly wail?" Danny guessed, still in his ghost form.

_'you willll reeemmmmeeeebbbbbberrrr!!!!!!"_

_'ah tis soooooo oful!!!" Danny screamed like a gurl! Make it stoop!!!!!!_

"I do _not scream like a girl_!" the ghost boy protested.

"No, you don't," Vlad said. "You make all these weird grunting noises."

Danny rolled his eyes.

_"don worry danny!!!' I is saving you!!! Gonna go gost" Isabella said, turning into her totalee hawt gost form! _

_Just ten Elizabeth cam up and was gonnna help her!1 _

"Wait. Where did Elizabeth come from?" Tucker asked.

"Maybe it's a threesome," Skulker said slyly.

Danny rolled his eyes. "That wasn't funny when Plasmius said it the first time, and it's definitely _not _funny the second time."

"Maybe it's a quartet, little badger. Where's Tucker?" Vlad asked.

Danny flushed. "That's _not _funny…you crazed up, perverted fruit loop!"

Vlad chuckled. "Why don't you keep reading, Jasmine?"

_Ten a meanie sluty dressed gost gurl named emmber came and said 'I'm gonna role the world!!11 Sat me name!!!!"_

_'no! everyon'll say my name!!!!" Isabella said, blastin eember out._

_'yeah!!" Elizabeth said, as tey flew out in2 the ar!_

_'yeah cuz I can sing sooooo mucb better than that sicky slutty emmber!!!!'_

"Call me _slut _one more time, and I _swear _I'll make those the last words you ever say."

Everyone looked up to see the angry ghost pop star hovering above them. "Skulker, what are you doing here?"

"I'm reading a book. It's torturing the whelp here."

"Really? How?" Ember asked, suddenly looking very interested.

"It has him mating with this slutty, stupid girl, and he acts like a _complete _moron. It's torture for him," Skulker said, grinning.

"You could always fight me instead," Danny said hopefully.

Ember grinned and crossed her legs as she sat in an empty chair. "Naw, baby pop. I think I'll listen to this."

_Ater teyy beat emmmber back to tehh gost zone, dany cam up to Isabella. "oh my hgod! Ur sooooooooooooooooooooooo bootyful!!1 I luv yiu!'_

_Everone wa cheering 'all hail tehh saviours of Amitee Parke!!!"_

_'lets hav a partay to celebrat!' someone declared._

_Ten, tehh mean emoy sam protested, but Elizabeth turned to her. 'ur such a lil beotch!'_

_'is not!'_

_'yeah, u is!' tucker said._

_'am not! I hate u !!!1'_

_Then, Isabella killed her._

"WHAT?" Sam and Danny gasped together.

Jazz nodded. "Isabella killed her. That's what it says."

Sam frowned. "Wait…at least I can't be insulted anymore, right?"

"That's not fair!" Danny whined. "I want to die! Why couldn't she kill me?"

Ember burst out laughing. "Oh, this is priceless, Skulker!"

The hunter nodded in agreement. Vlad sent them a glare that silenced both ghosts. Danny almost shot him a grateful look before he remembered who it was.

_So they had a partay n Isabella lookeded bootyful in her brite silver dress with a low nek but wasn't as sluttyiful as sam or emmber or that ucky vallery! It fit all her cooreves pervectky! And it broght out her blond hair with NATURAL green hihlites!_

_Elizabeth looked ALMost as putyy wihy het nootyful turcoise dress! Dany stared at tem like a lost puppy drooolin. So was tuck. Isabella smileded. Danny wa muc h nicer tan vlaudimrror plasmeus!_

Danny fought back fits of laughter. "Pantsom, dear boy?" Vlad reminded him.

"Yeah, but Vlaud_imrror_!" Danny gasped, close to crying. "That's _hilarious_!"

"I sense a scene coming up," Vlad said, smiling evilly at the younger hybrid.

Danny gulped. "That's not funny."

"Scene?" Ember inquired.

"Don't ask," everyone replied.

"I don't know why we're celebrating them," Tucker said. "Danny has been sending ghosts back into the Ghost Zone for almost a year, and no one ever had him a party."

_Ten geeesss wat!?!!?!_

Danny suddenly paled so much Sam wondered if he were going to faint.

_Plasapus was a watchin them!!!1 tat evul vampire!_

"I am _not _a vampire!" Vlad snapped.

_I must get my revenge on tat Isabella Elizabeth an Danny!111 but how!!?! I knows!!!_

_Ten, he turneded around! I'll make tat evul gothy ugly prude into a gostly doter and ill have her kill tem all an ill ruoole tehh world!!!!!!" mauhaahhaahahahaaa1!111_

_He cackled evully. 'yess, n ill bring her back fromed tehh ded!'_

_He turneded rond an walkeded into his lab! 'yesss11111'_

_Eh turned to the evul gothy gurl as she woked up "Salmontha!" plasmmosus called._

"SALMONTHA!" Sam yelled. "Samantha is bad enough, but _Salmontha_? Really? How dumb is she?"

Danny put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I understand, Sam."

"Great," Sam muttered. "Now I'm a prudish hussy, evil emo Goth, I'm working for Vlad, _and _I'm named after a fish!"

"There's nothing wrong with that," Skulker said. "He pays well."

"We should form a club," Ember said, "For all the girls being put down in this story."

"I'm in!" Sam said.

"Can I join?"

Ember frowned. "Why?"

"I look like an idiot," Jazz replied.

"I haven't even heard you yet in this story," Ember pointed out.

_Danny and Isabella and tucker and Elizabeth all danced. Everyone was talking botu how hawt danny and Isabella lokeded and how coote and swell tuckert and elizabreth loked. 'hosoh I wish I were tat hawt!!" jaz waled. _

"May I join?" Jazz asked.

"You're in," Ember said.

"We'll call it G.A.M.S.," Sam said, "Girls Against Mary Sues."

"Mary Sues?"

"That's what these…abominations are," Sam said.

"G.A.M.S. it is," Ember said.

"Wait a minute! I look like a bigger idiot than all of you!" Danny protested. "She makes me…well, um…"

"Play Monopoly? Put the key in the lock? Do it? Get it on? Dance together? Make love? Plant a garden?"

Everyone stared at Tucker, wondering how he knew so many ways to describe having…a certain _intercourse_. "T-Tuck?" Danny said tentatively.

"It's the book! It's corrupting meeeeee!"

There was chaos as Sam, Jazz, and Danny screamed. Tucker was dragging out his vowels for an insanely long time- just like in the story! Vlad knocked them back to their senses (literally) using the horror that was _Teh Soopr Gost Gurl_. "Just say the word, Daniel. I'm sure everyone here is old enough to know what you mean," Vlad said, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, it's a girls' club," Ember said.

"Sorry, Danny," Sam said, "But we need a support group."

Danny gave her a pouting look until she kissed him on the cheek. "Get a room!" Vlad growled.

_Isabella danced so moothly, rubbing her chest against dannys as tey danved, but it was totally not sluttyfiul. It was very very very moodest._

"Yeah, that _sounds _clean and modest," Danny muttered.

_Ten Isabella winkeded. 'ins tere something else we cold be doing!?!"_

Danny whimpered. Ember gave him an incredulous look.

_'yeah hottie._

_'kay gosty-gost,' Isabella said sexily._

"Ghosty-ghost?" Ember asked. "That's _hilarious_!"

Danny glared at her. "It is pretty funny," Skulker agreed.

Tucker chuckled. "You're supposed to be on my side, Tuck!" Danny protested.

"I know, dude, but that's _funny_."

"I hope you get a dumb nickname," Danny muttered, sulking in his chair. Although by now, could anyone really blame the poor boy?

_Ten as tey walkeded up 3 a room an danny took his shirt off, tey evul Plaomisus attacked!!!!"_

"I never thought I'd be so happy to see you," Danny remarked dryly.

"You're welcome," Vlad replied.

_'u are always gonna die!!1 and I have my new minon1!!!1'_

_'dany! Its tehh evul gothy gurl!!!!!" Isabella gaspeded._

_"ill protect u!!" danny declared.' Im gonna gost!!11'_

_ten the evul sam camed troo the window! I lobves u111 she declared/_

_'get aways from my boygtriend spam!!!11' _

_Isabella gasped. Spema was toooo ostrong!!!!! She was owred. Ten a single blasyt frm plasmas sent danny fluyin into a wall. 'nnoooooo!!11' the Isabella screamed._

"Maybe this is really a hack where she dies," Danny said hopefully.

"I doubt it, little brother. The hack was smarter than this," Jazz replied.

_'dannnnnt1!!!' she yelled. _

_Ned a vurst of fire cam!!! And burnennd samm to a crip!11 ten she kicked plasmmosues but. 'tis isn't the last o me!!!' he yelled, takin his minon and fling away._

_'o gosyy gostQQQ" Isabella gasped. 'are u okay?"_

_'yeah… u gots a newer power!!!'_

_'yeah!!!! I did!!!! so us still wanna u know…?'_

_Isabella winked. 'O eah." Dany said. 'I totally wanna!!!'_

There was a very _graphic _scene. "Sorry, baby pop," Ember said smoothly, "But that is so plagiarized out of a romance novel. I think it's impossible, too. We aren't that flexible. Also, I didn't need that very _detailed _description of your personal areas. I am impressed she managed to describe you so thoroughly though without using the actual word."

Ember blinked, suddenly realizing the ghost boy had fainted after he tried to blast the book, and it rebounded and hit him in the head…._again_. Tucker had left for the bathroom, closely followed by Jazz, leaving a very pale Sam and Vlad to care for the unconscious ghost boy. Skulker and Ember seemed moderately amused by it. Still, it took a good half-hour before everyone felt brave enough to finish the horrible chapter.

"Now," Jazz said, an incredibly fake smile plastered on her face.

_ I bectahall looooooooved tat sene!?!?_

No one bothered to comment on that statement.

_Well I was gonna do one wif Elizabeth and Tuck, but I used all my energy on tat sene wif danny and Isabella, sooooooo you'll have to wat for next chapter!_

"Please no," Tucker muttered.

_Now the review responses!! And member to flam tat mean kerky slutty skinky kinky prude valent!!! Sehs no lady1!!!!! And to tose mean mean meanies tat helpeded here!!!!!1111_

"Actually, I rather like them," Sam said.

The girl had bravely taken the seat next to Danny, leaving him with Vlad on the other side of him. He still looked a little weak from the most recent scene, though.

_Alexia Moonlight: lyke I hope I gets to be a better wrtia too!!!1_

"So do all of us," Danny muttered, "For the sake of my sanity if nothing else."

_Nut: Tank u sooooooooo muc!!!! But I don get why u's wearin a wite coat!?!_

"White coats?" Vlad asked. "We're in luck; they're taking her to a mental ward!"

"I hope it happens before next chapter," Tucker muttered.

_XofunXo: I is writin in english1!_

"Really?" Tucker asked, "Because it's so bad, I'm beginning to think it _must _be some sort of code."

_Renesmee Scarlet: how dar u thank that sluttyiful valint for killin Isabella and elizabeth1!_

"I'd thank her, too," Sam muttered.

"Should we let her join the G.A.M.S.?" Ember asked.

"I think so," Jazz said. "Renesmee, too. Actually, I think _all _the girl reviewers should be invited to join the G.A.M.S."

"We ought to make a guys' club!" Danny said.

Everyone gave him odd looks, so he sighed. "Fine."

_Sciencefreak330: I is not deloosonal!? Why does everyone keep sayin tat!!?!_

"Because it's true," Skulker muttered.

_PPG4: AGIN I is not delooosonal!!!!!!1111 if I lookd up deloosonal my pic wold not shoow up nex to it!!! _

"Yes, you are, and yes, it would, " Ember said, looking boredly at her nails.

_Cheshire: but why1!!? I don't need no dicshunary!!_

"She wouldn't know it if she had one!" Sam said. "She can't even _spell _dictionary."

_E350: is tat why my malbox blowed uped!?!?_

"Too bad _you _didn't blow up," Danny muttered.

No one replied. The fact that normally-sweet Danny was wishing someone _dead _was shocking, but given the circumstances, they all understood.

_Shell: I is confooosed._

"I'm confused as to how you manage to write this and think it's great," Sam said.

_Twinkie: tey is not barbies!!!!!! An danny and salmo is ew eweweww!!!!!!!111 wats wrong wif u?"_

"What's wrong with _her_?" Sam asked, "And Twinkie is right. They _are _total Barbies."

_And tats it!!!! Uep! Revew n remember to flam tat stooopid vaent! Nex chap is exciting!!!_

Jazz sighed in relief. "Alright, who hasn't read yet?"

"Don't you _dare _pass that thing to me again," Danny said.

"Or me," Sam added.

"I already read, too," Jazz said, "But we're on chapter four…you made me read _twice_!"

"Well…between the vomiting and fainting…" Danny said, smiling sheepishly. "Plasmius should read."

"You forget, little badger, that I read that _first scene_."

Jazz frowned. "Skulker. You read."

The ghost chuckled. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The-Real-Non-Stupid-Fairly-Competent-Author's Note: Ta-duh! There's another chapter. Again, a thanks to Alexia Moonlight for the new mutilation of Sam's name (Salmontha) and to Anathema's Abode, I got your hack; it's fabulous, and I can't wait to use it! Anyone else who wants to submit a hack, be my guest. Message or email. Reesemills09 gmail . com Remove the spaces!

Alexia Moonlight: Well, you did ask for it, so I thought I'd get off my lazy butt and update. I _love _the Salmontha. You know, I might have to bring Dark Danny in just to see his reaction. Originally, I wasn't going to do the review responses on hacks, but they were just too good to pass up.

Musiclover9419: Sadly, Sues are very, very hard to kill, but we can dream, right?

Nut and Shell: Um…yeah, er….thanks?

xOfunXo: Many thanks. I'm very glad you enjoyed reading.

RenesmeeScarlet: Of course I'll continue. Killing Sues is too much fun. It's bad, but I kept thinking 'sparkle-poof' for some reason when they died.

Sciencefreak330: lol. Yes, the beauty of Sue s'mores, but be sure to blow off the sparkles first. You should totally write a Sue death fic; they're unbelievably fun!

PPGBelle4: Thank you very much. 

Cheshire: Hm…sorry about the tick in your eye…well, at least it was funny…and strange.

Anathema's Abode: *gulp* Oh my….a ghost that write awful Mary Sue fics forever. That's _very _scary. (Btw, PsychoKitty high-fived you in the story comments. Yah for almost killing Smexy!)

Torgo: I am speechless. I _have _to have Maddie and Jack rip Smexy apart molecule by molecule somehow now. That's _brilliant_.

PsychoKitty1991: Yes, (and Anathema's Abode thanks you). You should totally write a kill-Sue fic. Sadly, though, the Sues always come back, but hey, Danny and friends deserve a little break, right?

Amethyst Ocean: Oh, I hate writer's block! (Strangely, that's when I usually get ideas for fanfics…). I wish you luck.

E350: Yep! Killing Sues is so much fun!

Twinkie: I agree. The thought of Danny and Vlad reading a fluffy, pink, indestructible book _is _very amusing. I know what you mean about how hard it is to actually make mistakes typing. I won't look at the keyboard when I type, and then I'll realize I've _still _managed to write a perfectly correct sentence. I always have to go back and spell things wrong.

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: That's a good question. Could you imagine Danny and Vlad trying to fight after this? Lol.


	6. When Sues Attack

Author's Note: Guess what? I own Isabella and Elizabeth….and Smexy, but not Danny.

-------------------------------------------------

Dark Danny was trapped inside the thermos. He listened as Clockwork watched his naïve, arrogant, younger self reading that awful book. The ghost smirked, enjoying himself immensely as his younger self vomited at the reading of that awful book. Needless to say, Dan was a bit sadistic. Even though he was trapped in the thermos, unable to leave, and no one would help him (not that he'd ever admit he needed help), he knew someone who _could_ torture his younger self. "Oh, I'm going to really _enjoy _this. I'm going to do the worst thing imaginable. I doubt he'll be able to sleep after this nightmare."

Meanwhile…

Skulker held the horrible pink book in his hands. He chuckled when he noticed the ghost boy ten shades paler than he normally was. He was about to read when the doorbell rang. Vlad frowned. "Who could that be?"

Suddenly, a girl appeared in the library. She was tall with a very small waist and a huge chest. Her hair was blonde with electric green highlights and fell past her waist. Every time she blinked, her eyes changed to a completely different color. She wore a bubblegum pink miniskirt and a white shirt with a dangerously sloping neckline along with white boots that covered her slender calves. "And who are you?" Ember asked.

The girl blinked, and her eyes switched from purple to pink. She giggled. "I am Isabella, and I'm here for my Daaannnnnnyyyy!"

There was chaos. "It's a Sue!" Sam screamed, leaping to her feet. "It's a real Sue!"

"They aren't supposed to exist!" Tucker protested.

A pink ectoblast flew towards the Sue, but she smiled and dodged easily. "Like, I want my Danny, and no one is going to stop me!"

"Danny!" Sam yelled. "Now might be a really good time to go ghost! Danny?"

Danny stood and stared at her, his eyes wide. "Isabella…" he said dreamily.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Tucker asked.

"The Sue brainwashed him!" Sam gasped. "Danny, snap out of it!"

"Ghosty-ghost, won't you help me destroy the evil, slutty Goth and Plasamoose?"

"Plasmius!" the older halfa yelled.

"Yes, my love."

With that, Danny went ghost and turned on them. "Run!" Sam yelled.

Everyone rushed to the door. If the Sue was anything like the Sue in the story, attacking her wouldn't do any good anyway. "Let's go git em, n ten we can be together forever!!!!111"

"Yes, Isabella," Danny said.

"Yah cuz we's awesome!" the Sue said, her grammar slowly becoming worse and worse each time she spoke.

"Yez, me queen!" Danny declared, his poor, brainwashed mind unknowingly abusing the English language.

-----------------------------------------

"Ow! That's my eye!"

"Well, your combat boot is crushing my pancreas!"

"That's my stomach, dipstick!"

"Oh, cheese logs! Will you be still long enough for me to get some light in here?"

Pink light filled the closet as three teenagers, one halfa, and two ghosts tried to hide from the horrible Sue. "How do we kill it?" Tucker asked.

"I don't know, but it brainwashed Danny!" Sam exclaimed.

"I could check the internet with my PDA."

Suddenly, a loud, maniacal laugh filled the closet. "I am Technus, Master of all Technology and- oof!"

Sam groaned as the ghost tried to materialize in the closet, making it even smaller. "Why do you have to come now?"

"I, Technus, am going to use the technology in this house to take over the world!"

Everyone ignored him. "In the story, how did they kill the Sues- the hack?" Jazz asked. "She faced them with logic."

"Did you say 'Sue'?" Technus asked.

"Yeah," Tucker said. "Why?"

"I, Technus, have been through many computers, and I know about the horrible Sue!"

"So you know how to stop it?" Sam asked excitedly.

"I, Technus-"

"Will you just answer the question?" Vlad asked.

"I, Technus- oh, sorry. Well, you have to defeat them with logic. They aren't even supposed to exist."

"Well, clearly, they do," Sam said, shivering.

"I wonder how one got here," Tucker said.

------------------------------------

Dark Danny smirked as he heard his younger self praising Elizabeth in horribly mangled English. He had no doubt Danny would be able to defeat the Sue, but he was going to enjoy this why it lasted. He couldn't wait to see his reaction. "Hm. A real-life Sue," Clockwork said. "I bet I know where that came from, but I do know everything."

Dark Danny rolled his eyes. _Arrogant, much? _He thought.

"I'm not going to stop it," Clockwork continued, "Because they can defeat it, and… I believe whoever was involved with this Sue will be struck by karma very soon."

_Yeah, right, _Dark Danny thought.

----------------------------------

"Lyk I don see tem no anywhere!" Elizabeth wailed, her spelling and vocabulary beginning to fade along with her syntax.

"Don worry my luv!!!! I shall fin tem, an ten wel be together furever!" Danny said, Elizabeth's stupidity virus slowly beginning to overcome him.

Suddenly, Technus burst from a closet. "I am Technus, Master of All Technology and Electrical Devices! I am here to destroy the Sue, and the human children and their friends are going to ambush you while I try to distract you!"

"Okay, so maybe having Technus as the distraction wasn't the best idea," Sam muttered.

"Oh, you think?" Ember asked sarcastically.

"Lyk ur no match 4 us!" Elizabeth declared. "We's gonna to kick your butt n youll die!!!!1111 u r is not cool, n me n danny ock!"

"What is this new slang? Ock?" Technus asked.

"Wes too cool n u's not!"

"I, Technus, am funky fresh! You should not dare insult me, Technus, the Master of Technology, who is going to laugh when the human child shoots you!"

"Wha he?"

A shot from Sam's ectogun knocked the Sue to the ground. "Dannnny! Stop tehh stuffy prusidsh slam!"

"My name is Sam! Hurry, Tucker!"

Tucker stumbled forward and cleared his throat. Then, suddenly, a hole opened in the floor, sucking Sam, Technus, and Tucker downstairs. "Vlad has a dungeon in his house?" Sam asked.

Vlad, Skulker, Jazz, and Ember fell in a moment later. "I do not have a dungeon in my house!" he protested.

"The Sue pup carries a powerful punch," Skulker remarked. "She's more powerful than the whelp."

"I, Technus, think the Sue is warping reality!"

"How?" Sam asked.

"Why is there a big hole in the middle of the floor?" Tucker asked suddenly.

Everyone followed his gaze, and there was, in fact, a huge, gaping hole in the middle of the floor. "This is a plot hole!" Technus declared. "The Sue and her bad ways have created an un-hip plot hole!"

Vlad put a hand to his forehead. "I need a Tylenol," he muttered.

Tucker walked over to the cell door and pushed it open. "Wow. Sues are stupid; she didn't even lock the door!"

"Come on!" Sam yelled. "We need to get out before she does something to Danny!"

Everyone rushed to the door, except for the three ghosts, who phased through the cell bars. "Why didn't I think of that?" Vlad muttered.

They ran upstairs. "Danny!" Sam yelled.

Danny turned and looked at her, his green eyes dazed. "ti my evulll fater Vladmirror Plasma!" Elizabeth cried.

"Vladimir Plasmius!" he yelled, "And leave Daniel alone!"

"ull nev cam tween us!" the Sue declared.

Tucker had an idea and promptly stepped between Danny and Elizabeth. "You were wrong," he pointed out.

"nnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111" the Sue screeched.

Then, Sam took the Fenton thermos and promptly sucked the Sue inside it. Danny blinked and put a hand to his head. "Ah… why do I suddenly have the urge to speak in mutilated English?"

Everyone exchanged looks. "No reason…" Sam said.

"So are we going to finish that… story? Skulker was reading, right?"

Everyone sat, still uneasy about the Sue. "Is this a book club? Is this what is 'it' and 'super fly'?" Technus asked.

"No, it's this horrible story," Danny said.

"If it's not happening, then why are you reading it?"

The ghost boy crossed his arms. "We aren't going to stop until everyone has read and suffered like I have."

"Are the G.A.M.S. ready?" Ember asked.

Sam and Jazz nodded. Skulker began reading.

_Heyalls!111 I gots a werd emal sayin tis jerky jerk amantha something or nothiun is gonna hack my occont an rune me story!!!1111 shhes jus jelos!!!_

"I hope someone _does _hack her account," Sam said, still uneasy from the attack of the Mary Sue. She eyed the thermos sitting on the fire mantle cautiously.

"Explain this to me!" Technus said.

"Hacks are good," Danny said. "People kill the Sues."

"Then, what is the plot?"

"We aren't sue," Sam said.

Everyone gasped. "S-sure!" she corrected quickly. "I meant sue- sure! I meant sure!"

"The misuse of grammar is spreading!" Danny yelled.

"Danny, that's completely illogical," Jazz said.

_An here comes the story cuz I no yall can not not wat!!!!!!_

_Isabella smileded as she lay wif tucka in the bed, wen Elizabeth cam to tehh window! 'did yu kill that solutty prudish amber!?!!?_

_'yah it was easy it kill tat dum beotch.'_

"It's okay, Ember," Jazz said. "Breathe. In and out. In and out."

Ember nodded, clenching her guitar until her knuckles turned white. "Right. After all, she's a Sue. What does she know?"

_En tey were atkaced by evul danny frm an alternative time vine!_

"Who is _that _supposed to be?" Vlad asked.

Danny sighed. "Me. There's an evil me- trapped in a thermos in the Ghost Zone. He was supposed to be my future…"

Sam put a comforting hand over his and smiled. "You'd better not kiss again," Vlad threatened.

"When did you begin dating? I must know of this new news!" Technus said.

Sam absentmindedly toyed with Danny's class ring on her left hand. "Ah, so the ghost child has given her the bling-bling! That's fly, dawg!"

Danny gave Skulker a pleading look, which the hunter returned with a smirk. "Read," Vlad growled.

_Tat evul danny was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo crepe almos as crepe as tehh evul gothy gurl an he was evulll!!!!!111 'I goona kill u!!!!1' he yelled 'cuz I is sooooooooooooooooooo evil !!!'_

_'no, lyk, u is so lame and dead!' Elizabeth declared. 'u's gonna be six mor feet unda!!!' (hahahah git it- six MOAR feet, ccuz he's already dead!!)_

"Why does she have to try to be clever?" Tucker asked, sighing.

"I wish she wouldn't," Danny muttered.

Ember rolled her eyes. "She makes worse puns than you, dipstick."

_'no is is not cuz I stonga tan y!!!!'_

_ten, Isabella and Elizabeth owed the evul dud wif their powts and he flew away cuz he was a weak ugle stupid dum arrogant evul poppu head prudish jerky jerk who wod be beatn by a puppy!! He was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo week!!1 lyk he was so easy to bet n all!!!_

"I, Technus, think that my IQ has just dropped several levels! This girl is not cool or even hip!"

"Her name is SmexyPhantom," Sam said, as if that explained everything. On second thought, actually, the name did explain just about everything.

"Silence, mate of the whelp! I'm reading these review responses!"

_o no te revoow responss. I no yall cant not wayt for the nest chapter!!!!11_

_musiclover9419: lyk u dunno nothing!!! Pople luv my story!!!!!_

"Pople? Is this some new, hip slang term?" Technus asked.

"No, sadly," Danny said. "She just writes this badly."

_PPGBelle4: I is not rapping Dannnee!!!_

"If she means 'rape'," Danny said, "Then, I think she is. I feel violated either way."

_Torgo: I wanna play russin rolet!!!1_

"Yes!" Sam said, pumping her fist in the air. "Maybe she'll die!"

"I'm beginning to think she's as indestructible as this book is," Vlad mused. "Good luck with that, little badger."

_Alexia Moonlight: whyd u beet me up!!!?!!?!_

"YES!" everyone cheered.

_Orpheus-izanagi: how wold deltin my store help!?!"_

"Oh, I think it'd help a lot," Tucker said.

_PsychoKitty1991: I is immoral!!!_

"The dipstick got that right," Ember said.

"I agree," Danny muttered.

"I feel for you, dude," Tucker said.

_GeekGirl2: no!!!! I wroted this store alllll by meself!!_

"Good," Vlad said. "I can't imagine a world where there's more than one of her."

"Me neither," Danny said.

_Coldflare101: me stooree is no dum! Me romance is relistick!!! An my carecters are grate!!!!_

Vlad left and returned a moment later with a bottle of Tylenol. "Is there any of that left?" Danny asked hopefully.

"Nope. I think I have some Asprin, though, in the bathroom."

Danny left to find the Asprin, much to Skulker's amusement. When he returned, the ghost began reading again.

_E350: teres nuthin sick bot danny an Isabella!!!_

"No, _everything _is wrong with it!" Sam said. "How dense can someone possibly _be_?"

_sciencefreak330: I does not need no sighcological help1!!?!_

Jazz laughed. "She needs tons of psychological help."

"Or a blade to her head," Skulker said.

"I agree with that," Danny muttered. The ghost boy's eyes widened. Now he wasn't just agreeing with Plasmius; he was agreeing with Skulker, too!

_Liana-Wolfe: was sarcasm1!?!_

Danny sighed. "There's no hope for her, is there?"

"You still have hope, whelp?" Skulker asked, raising a metallic eyebrow.

_Thunderstorm101: I has not scared noone's mind by tem reading tis!!?!_

"She scarred me," Danny muttered. "I've been scarred for life."

Sam shuddered. "Me, too."

Tucker nodded in agreement.

_Mirrored in My Mind: tis is not trash!!!!!!!111_

"It is, although I'm not surprised," Vlad said, "Considering where this came from- Smexy's mind."

_Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: sam deserved 2 di!!! She tried to spit up Isabella and danny!!!_

"I'd love to spit on Isabella," Sam said darkly.

"I'll hold the witch down," Ember offered.

"I'm normally opposed to violence," Jazz said, "But… I think I'll make an exception if we ever meet…"

The girls shivered- the memory of the Sue all too real.

_Anathema's Abode: I is not aoona git tehh flew!!!_

"Anyone her wish she would catch the flu and die?" Sam asked.

Everyone nodded, except for Technus, who really hadn't seen how horrible SmexyPhantom could be yet. The most recent chapter was one of her cleaner ones.

_Crazy4Pie: I ammm not peveted branles an stuff!! I is brillyunt!!_

"I, Technus, know this writer is not brilliant!"

"And he hasn't even read much yet," Sam muttered. "What does _that _say?"

Skulker shut the book. "That wasn't so bad. I don't know what the big deal is."

"She called me a _slut_!" Ember protested. "She deserves to _die_!"

"If I ever find her, I promise to get her pelt for you," Skulker said.

Ember smiled. "Thanks."

"So who's reading?" Skulker asked.

"I shall read this piece of literature!" Technus declared.

Everyone cringed as Technus called the story 'literature'.

------------------------------------

"When I get out of here, I will _destroy _that girl! I will rip her apart into itty, bitty pieces! I would _never _be _beaten _by her _dumb, stupid, ugly, Sue!_" Dan yelled, thrashing to escape his thermos and kill Smexy for insulting him.

Clockwork chuckled. "Karma," the ghost said, twisting a knob on his staff.

Dark Danny glared through the thermos. Then, he grinned evilly. Well, he had a feeling that thermos wouldn't hold that Sue long.

--------------------------------

Author's Note: I'm actually a little nervous about this one. I read the comments about Dan, and some wanted him to read the book. Some didn't. I do agree it's hard to imagine Dan sitting down and reading a hideous pink book, so I thought this might be sort of a…compromise. Also, check the poll on my profile. Which ghost should come in next?

Musiclover9419: Thank you! Yeah, poor Sam and Vlad….

PPGBelle4: I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

Torgo: Yeah, I pity poor Danny, too.

Readergirl21: Yeah, killing Sam seems like something Smexy would do. She's such a jerk.

Alexia Moonlight: Thank you, thank you! I'd like to thank all the little people in my life… Thanks. Don't worry; poor Sam doesn't know it was your idea.

Orpheus-izanagi: Thanks! I'll look forward to your hack!

SOLmaster: I'm not offended. I like hearing criticism. I do think your right about Dan, so I hope this compromise was okay…

PsychoKitty1991: Gasp! I forgot to add the Ghost Writer to the poll! Thanks for mentioning him!

GeekGirl2: I don't know who's going to be abused yet, either… probably Tucker.

RenesmeeScarlet: Yeah, GAMS….haha. I have no idea where the idea for that one came from. Of course you can join!

Coldflare101: Thanks! Yeah, their reactions are _so _fun to write.

Stephinie Crow Manson: Yeah, the Sue is the devil incarnate…

E350: Were you kidding!? I _love _Technus! I had to put him in! We'll have to wait and see. Danny wants a guys' support group....

Sciencefreak330: Oh, you're in luck! The Sue killing is coming next chapter, and there _is _going to be a VladxSam scene. Aren't I evil?

Liana-Wolfe: Izzy calling Sam Penelope? I could probably fit that in somewhere…

Thunderstorm101: It's the evils of the Sue corrupting them! Yep. It's pretty indestructible.

Mirrored In My Mind: Ah…I'm glad to brighten your day.

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: Yeah, GAMS. Hee-hee. I agree, though, it's much easier to criticize someone's Sue (especially if the Sue if over the top like Izzy and Lizzie) and not your own.

Anathema's Abode: Are you kidding? I _loved _your hack! That, and it's very good for puns. Poor Danny isn't going to be able to sleep again…

Crazy4Pie: Thank you very much!


	7. My Hack is Better Than Yours

Author's Note: Here it is! We can thank Anathema's Abode for the wonderful hack. Enjoy! Also, I shall never own Danny Phantom. Sadly.

----------------------------------------------

"Now! All shall fear me, Technus, the Master of Technology, as I read _Teh Soopr Gost Gurl!_"

Danny shivered, thinking about all the horrible things Smexy might come up with for them. From what he'd read, she seemed horribly creative. "Yes, yes, we know you're the Master of Technology," Vlad said, wondering silently if Daniel had taken the last of the headache medicine.

_Hello. This is not Smexy Phantom._

A loud cheer filled the room. Sam kissed Danny, Tucker hugged Jazz, Skulker and Ember made out, and Technus and Vlad pulled them apart. "Will you not do that next to me?" Vlad snapped.

Danny smiled sheepishly. "Do you really blame me?"

"Um… Tucker…" Jazz said, her face blushing until it was almost the same color as her hair.

"Oh, sorry, Jazz…"

Tucker moved away from Danny's sister. "Is this what the kids are into these days?" Technus asked, staring at Skulker and Ember.

"Wow. They've been going at it a while," Danny commented.

"It would be uncool to break up their par-tay," Technus said. "Should I continue reading this obnoxiously pink book?"

"Oh, give me that!"

Vlad took the book and knocked both ghosts on their heads. However, as he hit Skulker, the ghost's metal armor deflected the book, flew through the air, and hit poor Danny on the head. "Ow…" the ghost boy groaned.

"Oh, sorry, little badger," Vlad said.

Technus picked up the book. "I shall now read this totally far out book!"

_Seeing as there have already been a few hacks into her account, I thought I'd try my hand at it._

"I'm surprised it took so long. We figured out that either Plasmius or I was her password ages ago," Sam said.

"Whoever hacked into her account probably tried to spell your name right," Danny said.

"As much as I agree, Daniel, you ought to be quiet. I think I'm going to really enjoy this."

_ I'm Anathema's Abode, the one who managed to get Smexy to go to Antarctica. _

"Too bad she didn't stay there…" Sam muttered.

_Seeing as I'm a horrible hacker(as I've recently found out), I have settled for having my friend siphon off some of one of her Mary Sue's energy and transfer it to me for a while, therefore giving me ghost powers. After a few hours spent getting myself unstuck from the lower wall in between two floors of my house, I flew into the computer and accessed Smexy's account to write this._

"I know how that feels," Danny said, "Being stuck between a wall and two floors."

"Shut-up, whelp," Skulker said. "I want to hear."

"Yes, it is un-hip and so retro to interrupt, ghost child!" Technus declared.

"Then, read!" Ember said.

"Stop interrupting me, Technus, the Master of-"

"SHUT-UP!"

"I cannot read this story if I am 'shut-up'."

"Just read!" Vlad snapped, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'surrounded by idiots'.

_And now, I bring you my version of the hack. Note that it does contain Clockwork, but I promise that I didn't copy off anyone!_

"I love Clockwork," Danny said. "He's my hero."

_Clockwork was not pleased. Not pleased at all._

"I'm not very pleased, either," Danny muttered.

Everyone shushed him, leaning forward eagerly to hear.

_These unneeded and definitely unwanted (at least from his point of view)_

"From _everyone's _point of view," Danny interrupted.

"I hope this girl pays for calling me a slut!" Ember said.

"As do I," Skulker said, wrapping his arm around her.

"Technus, start reading! They're starting to scare me," Tucker said.

"I, Technus-" the ghost stopped when he saw all the glares aimed at him. "Will now continue reading this, um, abomination."

_These unneeded and definitely unwanted (at least from his point of view) Sues were completely changing the path of Danny's future into something of a barely-recognizable glob of goo. Yes, if he didn't stop this soon, the world was going to end in a great meltdown, this timeline's way of escaping the horror of the Sues. It was akin to a body shutting down consciousness as a result of much pain._

"I knew they were evil!" Tucker said. "I just knew it! Yes, the hack is going to get rid of Isabella and Elizabeth!"

Danny nodded eagerly. So excited with the prospect of someone killing the awful Sues were they that no one noticed the delicate, white hand reach around the corner and take the thermos holding Elizabeth. No one saw her eyes change from blue to silver as she giggled. "Tey was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid!"

_But what to do?_

"Dump them in acid!" Danny suggested.

"Make more s'mores!" Tucker added.

"Let me hang their pelts on my wall!" Skulker replied.

"Let me throttle them!" Ember said.

For a good five minutes, the group suggested and voted on what would be the best torture for the Sues. Finally, they ran out of ideas, and Technus resumed reading. Tucker grinned. "I hope a snake eats Elizabeth."

_He could not simply destroy the Sues, for they would hold far greater power than he once the Suethor gained word of his interference. And actually warning Danny and his poor, poor friends of the evilness and vileness of the Sues would backfire; as long as the Sues kept them all hypnotized, they wouldn't believe a word he said, master of all time or no._

"I knew I was hypnotized,' Danny said.

"Be quiet! Here it comes!" Tucker interrupted, bouncing in his chair.

_Oh. Wait._

_Clockwork facepalmed. Blonde moment._

_***_

_The next morning, Danny woke up to Isabella smiling up at him prettily and batting her gorgeous eyelashes in a valiant effort to seduce him once more. Danny promptly turned over and dry heaved onto the rug on the other side of the bed._

"Finally, something I would do!" Danny yelled, punching his fist into the air.

_"O, Danny, wat's rong, huny?! Did that creepe emu do somting 2 u!?"_

"Emu?" Technus asked. "Is this some funky fresh slang that I do not know of?"

"I think it's supposed to be 'emo'," Sam said doubtfully.

"Emu," Tucker snickered.

_"No! Everything's wrong! Why are you in my bed?! I can't believe I lost my virginity to something so gross!" Danny gagged again._

"I can't believe I lost my virginity to her either," Danny said.

Sam nodded eagerly.

_"Nooooo! U lik dont meeen tahhht!! _

"Yes, he does," everyone replied at once.

_Im bootyful! U lov me dannykins _(here Danny noticeably cringed) _!" She wailed, causing Danny and everyone else in the house to cover their ears in pain._

_"Uh, no. I love Sam, not you. Actually, I prefer girls who can speak whole sentences without using the word 'like'. You know, the ones who are a lot prettier than you?"_

"Yes!" the G.A.M.S. cheered, high-fiving each other.

_Isabella's golden eyes wi-"Holy shiz, weren't they blue yesterday? Or...red? Pink? Blue? I don't remember!" Danny thrust his hands to the heavens._

"Or maybe they were green, or purple," Sam said, smirking.

"You know," Tucker said, "It's about time someone noticed her eyes. Even Danny isn't _that _clueless."

_Suddenly, Isabella laughed. "O lol, I get it! Yur just plaing w/ me, rite? Tat wuz a grate joke Danny! I luuv youuuuu!"_

"Funny. I waited forever for a girl to say that to me, and now that it happened… yeah, not so much," Danny said.

_Danny sighed and grabbed Isabellas face in his hands, inwardly cringing at having to touch her again. He actually flinched when she closed her eyes and puckered her lips for a kiss._

"Please, don't kiss me. Please, don't kiss me," Danny begged.

"Please, don't kiss him. Please, don't kiss him," Sam muttered.

_"Look, Isabella. Look into my eyes."_

_Her green eyes-_

"Are color-changing eyes the new 'in' thing?" Technus asked.

"No… she's just a freak," Tucker said, sighing.

_-met his thankfully-blue ones._

_"I. Hate. You. I despise everything about you. Your damsel-in-distress attitude that ends with you kicking ass, your disco-ball eyes, the way you turned me, and everybody else, into complete morons at your mercy. Most of all, I hate your constant bashing of my girlfriend, Sam."_

Everyone cheered. "Danny, that's the most wonderful thing you've _ever _said!" Sam said, grinning widely.

"It's about time someone told that little witch what was coming to her!" Ember said.

"Even I'm beginning to like this," Vlad said.

_The Sue's only response was to screech loudly as she melted all over Danny's bed._

"YES!" Danny yelled.

"Now she just has to get rid of Elizabeth!" Tucker exclaimed.

_"Dang. Now I have to clean all this up."_

"Well, at least she died…" Danny muttered.

_As Danny dutifully cleaned up to bright, glittery, pink mess all over his bedroom flood and bed, he mentally thanked Clockwork for 'poisoning' his noodles last night. Now, if only he could get rid of Elizabeth, too…_

_There it is-_much _better than Smexy's story, if I may say so myself. Also, I managed to do like the previous hack and get Smexy's responses to the last chapter. Enjoy!_

"THAT'S IT!?!?!" Tucker exploded, leaping out of his chair. "She didn't kill Elizabeth!"

"Well, at least you didn't have a 'scene'," Sam replied.

Tucker glared at her. "I can't believe she didn't kill Elizabeth… what a rip off…"

"I shall now read the 'review responses'!" Technus said.

_DarthDanielle: lyk u will note kill me u jrk!!!!!! N u wll note taked over tehh world an kill me!!!!111_

"I wish she would," Sam muttered.

"She wants to take over the world?" Vlad asked, sounding suddenly interested.

"I bet Smexy drove her to it," Danny muttered.

_Crazy4Pie: r u thretnin me!?!?_

"This is ridiculous," Vlad muttered. "Could anyone be any dumber?"

_Amethyst Ocean: luk I am glad 2 hav a millllion dollars!!! Tanks!!!_

"Surely, she didn't get that money for writing this," Jazz said, "Unless this is a psychological experiment of some kind."

"Jazz, no one could write this badly on purpose," Danny said.

_Orpheus-izanagi: lyk me nam is smexyphantom an I is awesoooome!!! N one day um gonn marree danny!!_

"Sam, if Smexy marries me- kill me."

Sam nodded.

_Torgo: why wold I getted runned over?_

"I Technus 2.0, feel as if my hard drive has been fried and destroyed by this totally trippin' teen!"

There were several muffled snickers.

_Nut and Shell: me sty does have a plot!!!_

"Then, it must be an invisible plot," Vlad said, "Because I'm not seeing it."

_ReaderGirl21: plammoosus wod not kick me but!!!_

"Excuse me! I would so! I would pummel that girl into pulp!" Vlad snapped, his eyes glowing red.

_Musiclover9419: u is sooooooooooooooooooo men!!! Why!!?! Ur jus jeelos!!!_

"You'd have to be very desperate to be jealous of that… that dipstick!" Ember retorted.

_Thunderstorm101: wat!?!!? U is cursin me!?!?!_

"I'd curse you, too," Sam said.

_E350: I wold nev git me characters mixeded up1!!_

"I'm not so sure…" Danny replied.

"I've decided I don't want this girl's pelt on my wall," Skulker said. "She might ruin my reputation."

_Anathema's Abode: lyk ur grammer is soooooooooooooooo bad I cant not red what u writed!_

"Irony, much?" Vlad asked.

_Suguri Takeuchi-chan: my store is gate! Every1 tanks so!!!!_

"Everyone except those who've actually read this story," Tucker said.

_GeekGirl2: but is I soooo cevr!!!_

"Clever?" Danny guessed.

"There's no telling," Sam said.

_KantoTheSlayer: I is soooooooooooo smart I don't need none spellin chek!_

"I think Smexy is a compulsive liar," Jazz said. "She clearly has some serious psychological disorders."

_SOLmaster: danny and sma for never!!! Arnt I funny1?!_

There was a collective 'no' from the readers.

_Kagamine-spice: me store doesnn mak peple puke!!!_

"Yes, it does," Danny said.

_Sciencefreak330: is isnn stooped!! Us is!! An dannee looks dmumb wif bloo is!_

"I do not!"

"That appears to be the end of this chapter," Technus said.

"Well, who's reading next?" Jazz asked.

"Tucker," Danny said.

"No! Haven't I suffered enough?" Tucker asked.

Danny grinned. "Nope."

Tucker gulped and took the horrible book in his hands.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: The end (of the chapter)! Once more, a special thanks to Anathema's Abode for her hack! Now I must get on my hands and knees and _beg _someone to send me another! I'm all out! Please message or email to bookwormmarisa (at) aol. Com Remove the spaces! You could also message me on DeviantArt as Celtic-Xena. Thanks again!

Alexia Moonlight: Thank you, and _of course _you can join the GAMS.

DarthDanielle: I'm very flattered, and good luck with your plans!

PPGBelle4: Yes, I almost feel bad for Dan…

RenesmeeScalet: Sure! Write a hack! Youngblood, huh?

Crazy4Pie: Thanks! Yeah, I love Technus!

Amethyst Ocean: Brilliant idea. I'll have to message you about that. Maybe Smexy has a best friend named SmexyMansonLover who wants to help write the story? That could be fun…

Orpheus-izanagi: I just want the story. Pretty much what is in italics except for the review responses. I do the character responses. So, just write a story where you kill the Sues.

Torgo: Your comment made me both cringe and laugh. Yeah, I'm glad you liked the Sue coming to life.

Nut and Shell: Smexy real? I can't even begin to contemplate that…

Readergirl21: Thanks! Yes… Isabella, the Queen of the Sues…

Musiclover9419: _Yes, Isabella is in love with Danny_. You'll find out why she suddenly turned into Elizabeth in a couple of chapters. There _is _a reason.

PsychoKitty1991: lol. Yeah, the misspellings are pretty crazy.

Thunderstorm101: It's a result of the Sues tearing apart reality… there _is _a reason Isabella became Elizabeth. It wasn't just a random thing, but it'll be brought up a little later.

Stephinie Crow Manson: I'm glad you liked it. I hope I didn't send you to the doctor's office.

E350: Technus with a sparkly pink book… that is kind of funny, isn't it?

Anathema's Abode: I hope you liked this one! It really was a great hack.

Suguri Takeuchi-chan: Of course you can be a hack and join the GAMS! Yeah, I think Danny really hates the Sues, too.

GeekGirl2: Everyone likes the GAMS- except maybe Danny (who's jealous).

Coldflare101: Many thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

KantoTheSlayer: Yes, it's a good thing Jazz is going to be a psychologist. Poor Danny… and since your brain is scrambled… we can make omelets!

SOLMaster: You're more than welcome to join the GAMS! I'm glad you liked how Dan worked in as well.

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: You're probably right about Smexy being a vampire junkie. That's the thing. The story is so bad that it's almost good…

Kagamine-Spice: For the misspellings if I get stuck, I usually look at the keyboard to see which keys are close to what I'd normally use. That works well for things like 'dannu sawed hef' (Danny saw her). Adding –ed to the end of words is also something I do, and I use a rhyming dictionary sometimes for inspiration on 'Sam' (slam, spam, etc.).

Sciencefreak330: I know! Poor Danny…


	8. The Sues are Coming! The Sues are Coming

Disclaimer: Do I really need to keep saying this? I mean, the answer should be obvious… Also, a special thanks goes to Amethyst Ocean for a certain suggestion concerning giving Sam some love.

**Edit: Okay. The idea for giving Sam love came from Amethyst Ocean- not Alexia Moonlight. I apologize for the mix-up, but I want to give credit where it's due. I'm crazy. Smexy drove me to it.**

---------------------------------------

"I'm hungry! Why don't we go eat?" Tucker asked.

"You're just trying to avoid reading," Danny said.

"So?"

"So be a man!"

Tucker frowned and took a deep breath before opening the book.

_Hiya yalls!!! Its smexy!!!!1111 tis chpatter is mostle bot the evul pamoola an sma! An is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo maded at that evul jerky anathema bah, blah blach 4 hackin 3 me accunt!111 tat jerk is osooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo men!!!!!!!11111_

"Pamoola?" Vlad asked, with a tone that suggested should he ever meet Smexy, she wouldn't survive the encounter.

"Sma?" Sam asked. "Well, at least she thinks she knows how to spell my name."

"Hm. Smexy must be able to hold a note for a very long time," Ember added.

_the lovlee grogos Isabella was fly over the far ceety of amiY Parke! When she sawed tat evul gothy prudish wicth!!! 'get awa pennylope!'_

"Pennylope?" Sam asked. "Penelope? Why'd she call me Penelope?"

"Maybe she's talking to… Spectra?" Danny suggested.

"Spectra isn't a Goth," Jazz pointed out.

"Maybe she… deleted too much text or something?" Tucker asked.

"I, Technus, believe this whack girl should delete this entire uncool creation!"

"Amen," Vlad muttered.

"I never thought you were religious," Skulker said.

Vlad shrugged. "I think, perhaps, I ought to reconsider my views on my eternal salvation. If I go to hell, I might end up with that… Smexy…"

Everyone's eyes widened. Sam made a mental note to go to church next Sunday. The thought of spending eternity with SmexyPhantom was just too horrible to contemplate.

_Yah Scam wad actooly pennyloppe secta in discuse! Shed been maink dannee all depressed an yucky stuff!!!_

"The only one making me depressed is you," Danny grumbled.

"The feeling is mutual, Daniel," Vlad said.

Ember patted Sam on the back. "It's okay, babypop. We'll get through this."

Danny's eye twitched.

_Ten she sowed plammos! 'lyk hey1 we was havin u no wat in tehh aer!1 whyd ya interpret us!?!_

Vlad jumped from his seat and grabbed the book from Tucker. "I'm going to obliterate this book! I would never have sex in the air, in public, or with a teenage half-ghost girl! I'm not a pedophile, and I have no wish to become one!"

He blasted the book fully with an ectoblast. The book flew across the room and hit a wall. It fell to the ground. Vlad breathed hard in and out, while everyone stared at him. Then, they heard a cackling like a thousand little bells. "W-what was that?" Tucker asked.

A girl with unrealistically long, red hair walked into the room. There was little doubt as to what she was. "A Sue!" Sam yelled.

"We trapped that trippin' Sue in the super fly thermos!" Technus declared. "I Technus, the Master of Technology, observed it with my own eyes!"

The Sue giggled, and batted her unbelievably long eyelashes. "I'm Elizabeth! Hello, Tucka!"

Slowly, everyone turned his or her attention to Tucker. "Elizabeth…" he whispered.

There was an explosion as Skulker sent a missile at the Sue. Elizabeth didn't even flinch. "Run!" Jazz yelled.

Danny swooped past the Sue, grabbed the awful book, and ran. There was chaos as everyone reached the door. "It's locked!" Jazz screamed, staring back at Tucker and Elizabeth.

Danny grabbed her wrist, along with Sam's, and they phased through the door. They ran down the hallway, piling into the library. "The… Sue… wouldn't dare… come here!" Vlad gasped out.

"Hello, Sammykins!"

Everyone froze and slowly turned around. A teenage boy was there, and he looked exactly like Danny Phantom except that his outfit had an 'x' on it. Ironically, Danny's first thought was Xena: Warrior Princess. "I am Xavier, Danny's half-ghost cousin," he said smoothly. "Sam…"

Then, he grabbed the Goth around the waist, and they vanished. "Sam!" Danny yelled.

"Wait!" Jazz said. "We need to figure out what's going on before we try to save her. Was that a Sue?"

"I Technus, the Master of Technology, have seen this punk before! He is a 'Gary Stu', cousin to the 'Mary Sue'."

They all knew anything related to the Mary Sue must be bad. Jazz frowned. "Isabella and Elizabeth are both from this book, so is Xavier?"

The girl took the book and sat down. Everyone exchanged hesitant gazes before sitting around her. "I'll start where Tucker left off."

_Lyk yus soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gross! Isabella declaired. _

_'we is luk sooooooooooooooooooo note!!!!111111' plama yelleded._

_N ten, Isabella sent him flinin an tuend aoegfehpov wib ah1 oahfud sbaoeh bg_

"What in the world…?" Jazz asked.

"Just when I thought she couldn't get any dumber," Vlad muttered.

_Srry is fitin wif tehh keebord1111 aoebh gaso uiao udsion snornb ao baorn bao buao_

"Did she even _look _at this after she wrote it?" Ember asked. "When I write songs, I _always _look over them- to be sure there aren't any mistakes."

"Did you forget?" Danny asked in a sing-song voice. "She's perfect!"

"Ah! The ghost child has fallen to the peer pressure of the psycho!" Technus declared.

"He's being sarcastic," Skulker growled.

"Ow."

_Hi this is sooprsmexymansonluver. _

Jazz glanced at Danny, who changed into Danny Phantom, looking ready to rip the book in half.

_Isabella managed to save the beautiful enchanting marvelous gorgeous sam from the evil plasmius and the spell was broken aob sorpaboentowedbr obq and ten tat evul plssmooos!!!!!11 camed at the Isabella! Drflkieqb qiob then danny's haf-ghost cousin Xavier came to help oh Samantha you were under the curse of that evil plasmius but now you are safe PO[ A PWMNSP BNEJ_

Danny growled. "If he lays one hand on her…"

"Temper, little badger," Vlad said.

The ghost boy crossed his arms and sulked.

_kk. so yalls me n my bff foeva are fonna rite this store together!!!!!!! Arnt u xsited?_

"Can we form a G.A.M.S. club now that there's a boy Mary Sue?" Danny asked.

"I, Technus, am all for forming an organization against the lame douche!"

Danny grinned. "Finally! The B.A.M.S.!"

"You mean the B.A.G.S.," Jazz said. "Boy Mary Sues are called Gary Stus, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

Vlad sighed. "Will you just read, Jasmine, so I can figure out how to get these abominations _out of my house!?_"

"We need a hack," Jazz said, frowning. "They know how to get rid of Sues."

"Why not just skip to one?" Danny asked.

"Because we need to know about what we're up against," Jazz replied.

_Sam Isabella and Xavier flew back into the city to protect it from ghosts and stuff and to meet danny danny flew up to the and waved who are you danny asked I am Xavier_

Jazz growled. "This kid has clearly never heard of a period."

Skulker, Technus, and Danny just gaped at her. "Not that kind of period, you dipsticks!" Ember said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, at least his spelling is an improvement," Vlad said, peering over Jazz's shoulder.

"You're just saying that because someone finally spelled your name right," Danny pointed out.

"So?"

_later sam came to Xaviers house thanks for saving me sam said oh Xavier replied youre welcome sam sam blushed delicately do you want to have sex he asked oh yeah_

"I'm going to kill him!" Danny yelled.

"Stop being so melodramatic, Daniel."

"Ploomsus?" Danny asked.

Vlad growled. "Point taken."

_And they had hot passionate sex heres what happened_

Technus's eyes were wide. He'd been all over the internet and seen many disturbing things (quite a lot of them were stories about something called _Twilight_). This, however, was the worst, most disturbing thing he'd ever read. Vlad stared wordlessly at the book, speechless. Danny sat on the ground, digging long furrows in the ground with his nails. Ember crossed her arms and glared at the book. The G.A.M.S. had to stick together, and an offense to one was an offense to the others. Skulker was a bit bother by his girlfriend's sudden anger. Jazz gulped. "He… gave Smexy a run for her money," she said hesitantly.

Danny began grinding his teeth together. "That's very bad for your molars, little badger," Vlad said.

The ghost boy took a deep breath. "Right. It's not really Sam. It's just a story."

Someone knocked on the door to the library. "Danny-kins! Ghosty-ghost!!!!" a voice called out.

"It's Danny's Sue!" Jazz gasped. "Isabella!"

"Read, Jazz, read!"

_an tenn danny n isabella sooooooo did it!!!!!!1111 and tey haded hawt passinet sex hers wat happened_

"It's… the same paragraph- only worse," Jazz said.

"Then, skip it!" Danny urged.

"Daniel, I'm fairly certain that door will hold for a while," Vlad said.

Ember stood and walked toward the door. "Ember, no!" Skulker yelled.

The ghost girl whirled around. "I will _not _let her get away with calling me a slut!"

"Wait until we have a plan!" Skulker exclaimed. "She's too powerful!"

Ember glanced at the door once more and sighed. The bangs continued on the door. "You're right."

"Don't worry, Ember," Jazz said. "We'll find some way to win. The G.A.M.S. don't give up!"

"Neither do the B.A.G.S.!" Danny declared.

"Yeah, we're supersonic and so fly!" Technus declared. "I, Technus, Master of Technology and Member of the B.A.G.S., shall not give up!"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "All right. I'll read the review responses," Jazz said. "Maybe we'll find some clues."

_Im letting smexy do the review responses since its her story I hope you all liked it very much I know it was awesome and we really worked hard on it tanks!!!!!111 okk tis is smexy1!11 an heres to reeew responses!11111_

_Sciencefreak330: if n danny red tis store he wold not vommit111 hed luv my store!!!!_

Danny snorted. "The only reason I'm not vomiting now is because there's nothing left in my stomach!"

A piercing cry from outside filled the library. "Daaaannnny!"

Danny cringed.

_Alexia Moonlight: wh do yu wanna kill me1!!?!?_

"Show of hands," Jazz said. "Who in here _doesn't _want to kill her?"

Not a single hand raised into the air.

_Crazy4Pie: I is noot a crepe mary su creeateor!!!!!!!11_

"No, 'creepy' is too flattering," Vlad said.

Danny chuckled before gulping. Now, not only was he _agreeing _with his enemies. He was laughing at their lame jokes!

_KaiserPhoenix92: u guys r soooooooooooo men!!!!! Why does y want me 2 run n hid? I cant rite ten!!!!!_

"I wish she'd go hide and get lost," Ember muttered. "Permanently."

_Musiclover9419: lyk its baded tat I gotted hacked1111 whyr u cheering!!?!!!?!!?!!!?!!?_

"I think it's great someone hacked her," Danny said. "I wish it'd happen again."

_Suguri Takeuchi-chan: nuh huh!!!1 I is the most best writa eva!!!!!!1111_

"She's never read a book before," Vlad said.

"Clearly," Skulker muttered. "I should hunt her down and kill her just for her sheer stupidity."

_PPGBelle4: kk I thanks I will go 2 the dessert for a while!!!!!_

"We'll be waiting," Skulker said, grinning.

"We're going to take out Smexy?" Ember asked. "I want to help!"

"Take her out?" Technus asked. "Why would you want to date that out of date, retro Sue?"

"They mean, they want to _kill _Smexy," Vlad said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh…"

_SOLmaster: dark dannee wold neva defeet Isabella!!!!_

Far away in a thermos, a certain diabolical ghost heard this comment and growled. "I would kick that Sue's butt!" he growled. "I'd rip her to shreds!"

Outside the thermos, Clockwork chuckled. "Karma," he muttered.

The Master of Time twisted a knob on his staff. He rather liked these hacks, though. They were pure gold (and not just because he got to be a hero).

_Torgo: k ill go to ze pasifick ooshen to git ur review!!!!_

"All right, so we're going there instead of the desert?" Danny joked.

"We'll split up," Ember confirmed.

_E30: I don git it!!!!_

"Get what?" Danny asked.

Jazz shrugged. "It was probably a really clever joke."

_RenesmeeScarlet: I did note rap the engleesh lanegwage!!!_

"Rape it?" Vlad asked. "She certainly mutilated it beyond recognition!"

_coldflare101: why doo u want me to stop riting!!?!_

"Because you _suck_!" Danny said.

"How… eloquent, Daniel," Vlad said.

"For once, I agree with the dipstick," Ember muttered.

The ghostly pop star frowned. Now _she _was agreeing with people she loathed! "I'll save you!" came another call from outside the library.

_Nut and Shell: I is sorre I lost my riters blok!!!!_

"I hope she finds it soon," Jazz muttered.

_E-Dantes: shes sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo swet!!1 tanks sooooo mck!!!_

"She's taking pity on her," Jazz said. "She must be."

An unusually loud banging came from the door. Everyone jumped. The door wouldn't hold that Sue forever.

---------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Duh, duh, dum! So… I have the next hack, courtesy of Readergirl21. Always accepting more hacks, of course. Sorry for not updating in, like, forever. Well, summer break's almost here, so I shoulder be able to get back on track. Oh, and no offense to anyone who writes _Twilight _fanfiction. It's just that some of them are really… bad. Also, to Anathema's Abode, be sure to read the chapter 7 reviews; some of them are really for you.

E-Dantes: Yeah, someone has to pretend to support Smexy. Isabella was inspired by Isabella Swann, but you can interpret the allusion however you wish. Also, yes, Smexy is from our world. Scary, huh?

Thunderstorm101: Thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's bad when the part of the story that isn't really supposed to have a plot has more of a plot than the Sue fic…

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: : )

Nut and Shell: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the reactions!

Sciencefreak330: Well, Elizabeth and Isabella _are _pretty much the same.

Coldflare101: Ah… the joys of foreshadowing.

RenesmeeScarlet: Thank you kindly, mademoiselle. ; )

E350: Ah, I'm diabetic… but I'll still help you make Sue s'mores!

Torgo: I promise; Elizabeth will get what's coming to her.

SOLmaster: Smexy's story is interesting… in a morbid, mess-up sort of way…

PPGBelle4: Thanks for reviewing!

Suguri Takeuchi-chan: Yah! I love hacks.

Musiclover9419: No, sadly, Isabella and Elizabeth are two different Sues.

Kagamine-Spice: Poor Pariah Dark. We're horribly sadistic, here, aren't we?

KaiserPhoenix92: Ah, I'm one of your favorite authors? I'm flattered!

Crazy4Pie: A crossover might not be a bad idea…and I'd love to read any hack you wrote.

Alexia Moonlight: Hm. I really hadn't thought of Vlad and Scar being similar… hm.


	9. Rhyme Time

The banging on the door continued as Ember took the book. She, Danny, Jazz, Vlad, Skulker, and Technus were still in the library, as Isabella banged on the door.

_Ugh!!111111 I is sooo freakin mad11 n fact I am sooo mad at smexymansonlover or watev1 he took my danny phantom book cuz tere was a pic of spam in the background!! So I want it back n am kilin sam1111111_

"Oh, poor Sam," Danny said sarcastically.

"Is tat evul Slamontha in tere?" Isabella screamed from the hallway.

Everyone cringed as the horribly mangled sentence echoed in the room. "Read," Vlad commanded, "Before that abomination breaks down my door."

_So oplasmius_

"Did she spell my name right?" Vlad asked.

"Er… except for the 'O' at the beginning," the ghost said uneasily.

"An _o_? She gets it right and puts an 'o' at the beginning? There's not even an 'ah' sound in my name!"

"Let it go," Danny said. "She's done much worst."

"The ghost child is right! I, Technus, Surfer of the Web, have seen and read much, much worse!"

"Worse than SmexyPhantom?" Ember asked. Someone worse than SmexyPhantom was hard to comprehend.

"Er… no," Technus said, "But I have read some totally out-of-it stuff!"

"Anyway…" Danny said.

_S owhen de were doin it in tehh sky Isabella flyed by an shot at tem wif her awsum pors! Butt tey servived cuz tey weresooooo hard 2 kill. _

"I'm going to kill Plumoosus!"

The banging continued. Then, Vlad snorted. "Well, Daniel, you certainly know how to find the bright ones."

"What do you mean?" Danny asked.

"She's half-ghost. Why doesn't she just phase through the door?"

Danny burst out laughing. "Wow."

"The Sue seems to be weak against logic," Skulker mused.

"Then, if we could use logic the right way," Jazz said, "We could destroy the Sues!"

She and Ember high-fived, and Danny's eye twitched. "Yes… that could work," Vlad said. "But how?"

"Yoo-hoo, Danny-kins!"

Suddenly, the half-ghost girl appeared in the room, her blue eyes turning orange. "I misseded you sooooooooooooooooooooo muches!"

Danny screamed, and before the Sue could work her magic, he fell through the floor. When he woke, he was in the same dungeon that the others had fallen into before. "What was that?" Danny asked.

"Danny!" Jazz called, waving him over.

"What happened?"

"We found something out. We think it's called a dues ex machina."

_Ten isabella's gorgos prefct is widened in shok. Tat evul goth gurl was a comin write at her111 she closed he is an used the duet x mashina!111 (a/n I heared tat fom 1 off my reewers! Tey said u used it to get outta twobles! Cool huh!?!?!)_

"Wait. So this… 'duet x mashina' helps you?" Danny asked.

Jazz nodded. "Yes… we have a theory. We think- somehow- since the Sues exist, other things do, too."

"That," Vlad said, "Explains the gaping plot hole in my floor."

"So what happened?" Danny asked.

"After the whack Sue broke in, Skulker used his happening tech to blast her to smithereens! Then, we fell into this uncool and totally last year room!" Technus declared.

"Ew. I think it touched me," Ember said. "I have this sudden urge to speak in a horribly scratchy voice."

"Your voice is beautiful," Skulker assured her.

"We must think of a way to destroy the Sues," Vlad said, "And we need to keep Daniel away from Isabella."

"We need to find someone to help us stop the Sues," Danny said. "But who?"

"I've got it!" Jazz said. "The Ghost Writer- that Christmas ghost you told me about!"

"But how do we get him here? I don't know where in the Ghost Zone he is," Danny said.

Everyone was silent. "Maybe…" Vlad finally said. "We could read the book and figure out how to… use the dues ex machina again."

No one had a better idea, so they all reluctantly sat down, passing Ember the horrible pink book.

_Tey blwed up. Isabella smiled. Danny wold be sooooo happy shed saved teg town. Menwile trucker_ (Here Danny snorted.) _an Elizabeth were in his room, an gess wat tey were doing!?!!?!!?!!?!!?!?!!!?!!?!!?!?!?!!!?!_

"Do I have to?" Danny grumbled. "I can't believe it. He gets one of those, and he's not even here to hear it."

The scene was, predictably, very horrible. Although, the English and grammar was so horrible in some parts that it may've been even worse than they thought. They hadn't for example, been able to interpret the sentence. '_ten tuck sippd ntp eiabeth an tu wad sooooooo soot an pedfct!1 _

"Soot?" Danny asked. "Shoot, scoot, shot, boot…?"

"Then Tuck sipped… Elizabeth and that was so… now they're drinking?" Jazz said.

"Maybe we should stop," Vlad said. "It's probably so vulgar we don't _want _to know."

_I betcha jus luved it sooooooooooooo much!111111_

"This girl is too much of a cocky whipper snapper!" Technus proclaimed.

"Whipper snapper?" Danny muttered.

"No worse than you going 'Oh, Spooks!' when something scares you," Vlad commented.

"Butter biscuits, anyone?" Danny asked.

"Be nice, children," Jazz said, rolling her eyes.

"Stupid testosterone," Ember muttered, glancing at Skulker and Technus, who were chanting 'fight, fight, fight'.

_Tenn tat evul stunk skunky goth emo grl and plumala did it._

_That _caught Vlad's attention. "Again! Why on Earth would I want to do the unspeakable with Daniel's girlfriend? And Plumala? It sounds like a cross between 'plum' and 'Pamela'. If I ever find this girl, I'm going to do something so incredibly sadistic and vile, that she'll never even be able to utter 'Plasmius'!"

Everyone stared. Vlad usually didn't lose his temper that badly. Even more shocking was when Danny said, "I'll bust you out of jail if you get caught."

"He's corrupting my little brother!" Jazz gasped.

"It's the Sue," Danny said. "She's corrupting all of us."

Ember sighed. "Well, if reading this book will tell us how to get rid of her, I'll suffer through it."

The scene that followed was easily the worst scene yet. Apparently, when Smexy talked about having bad sex, it was ten times worse than her writing good sex. It still wasn't an improvement. Vlad convulsed on the floor. "Um… Jazz, what should we do?" Danny asked.

"We could slap him," Technus suggested.

Danny obliged, and Vlad shot up, seething. "You-"

Everyone ignored him, and they continued the story.

_It as a nce nite in amity parka. Everyone was lseep an adoing stuff_

"How could someone be asleep and doing stuff at the same time?" Danny asked.

"Maybe everyone in Amity Park sleepwalks?" Jazz suggested.

"Oh, good! Maybe Isabella will be sleepwalking and fall off a thirty story building!" Danny said, clapping his hands together with false cheerfulness. "And Xavier…"

Danny's eyes darkened. "Well… he's not here anymore, Danny. Ember?" Jazz prompted.

_But tere was an evuuull riter gost called tehh got whiter!!_

"Got Whiter? Is she racist?" Technus asked.

Everyone laughed, even though they all knew Technus wasn't joking and probably really thought it was a racist joke.

_I shal get mi revenge on tat dannny phantom1111 he yelled… (a/n now yals get to her me rime!11 I'm reall-e good at riming!)_

"Oh, she did not," Ember growled.

"Breathe in and out, Ember, in and out," Jazz said, patting the ghostly pop star's shoulder.

_There was a prefct gurl named Isabella_

_Tat was dated this dud named danny-a!!_

"That's not a rhyme!" Danny protested. "All she did was add an 'a' to my name!"

"Yes! I should rap and show this girl what's cracka-lackin! I, Technus, am the Master of Rap and Cool!"

Ember hastened to read. No one wanted to hear Technus attempt to rap.

_An de were soooo happy together_

_An were gonna b together 4ever!_

_Ten on day an evul dragon (a/n the gost winter made it1111)_

_Camed an ated a hoe an a gun!111_

"Yes, he ate Isabella!" Danny yelled, punching his fist into the air.

"Somehow, I doubt that," Jazz said.

"The twit probably meant 'house'," Vlad said, seeming to have gained some of his senses back. "Where's Skulker?"

"He went to look for vodka," Danny said.

Vlad nodded vaguely, still shaking slightly.

_We must stop him te bootyfull gurl cryed_

_Yes danny sided_

_So tey spring n axshun_

_And attaced the dragun _

"And then, they sent the author to an asylum," Danny said.

"Asylum doesn't rhyme," Jazz pointed out.

Danny crossed his arms. "If she can rhyme action and dragon, I can rhyme them with asylum."

_But the dragun was fast_

_And tey saw a cast_

"Her rhymes don't even make sense!" Ember yelled in frustration.

Meanwhile, Skulker arrived with a glass of champagne (as Vlad didn't drink vodka). He gave Vlad the glass, and Technus floated up. "I shall rap and show this girl how to get down with the rhymes!"

"NO!" everyone yelled, but it was too late.

My name is Technus, yo, that begins with a 'T',

Better known as the Master of All Technology,

Coming with a new style,

High profile,

When I rap to my peeps, they gonna go hogwild.

One cool ghost,

Super fly style,

A green Lil Wayne with the snowy white hair.

Everyone stared. Technus was nowhere near as bad as Smexy… but rapping in a nasally voice was still really… weird. While the others looked on in awe, Vlad wondered if maybe he'd had a little too much champagne. "Well, that was… very unique," Jazz said, "But we need to focus. This story may have a clue to destroying the Sues."

Ember nodded quickly and began reading.

_So tey were fitin_

_And fitin an sitting_

_When te dragun blue purpl fans_

_At danny and his pants!!!!_

_But he wasn't scard_

_An the dragun was impared_

_Yeah he codn toch danny phantom_

_He codn even catch granum._

"Granum?" Danny asked, looking quizzically at Jazz.

"It's part of a plant. It's used in photosynthesis."

"But that doesn't make sense!" Danny protested.

"Are you surprised, Whelp?" Skulker asked.

"She probably just copied it out of the rhyming dictionary," Ember muttered.

"I, Technus, have a new theme song!"

"Oh, look," Ember said. "This chapter is almost over!"

_I no yall all wants to kno how it ends but youll have to waint an sea!!!!!!!1111 heeheee. Hees the review responseses… andtat smexymansonluver blach bach blah better give back me dook!!!!!!!1_

_Readergirl21: yesss is speeks perfect englieesh!_

"Oh, that explains it," Vlad said. "She doesn't speak English. She speaks _Englieesh_."

_Alexia Moonlight: cuz I is immoral!!!!!!!!_

"Yes, it's definitely immoral," Ember said.

"She," Danny replied.

"It," Ember insisted. "Calling her a female is an insult to women and girls everywhere."

_Anathema's Abode: drunk merqry makes u live longer!!!! Hey1 som jerk also nmed Anathema haked 2 me aoocnt!! Werd, huh?_

"Mercury?" Jazz suggested.

_Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: yeah!!11 sooprsmexymansonluvr is draggin me story down!!!!!!11_

"I don't think she needs anyone's help to drag this disaster down," Jazz sighed. "It's already like the _Titanic_."

Vlad sighed. "Skulker, could you go to the drugstore and buy some more headache medicine? I'm getting a serious migraine."

"What do I look like- your minion?"

"Do it, and you can have any one weapon you want from my lab."

"Deal," and the ghost hunter vanished.

_Kagamine-Spice: evul danny wold not kill me!!!!he suks!!!!_

"I WOULD TAKE THAT GIRL AND RIP HER APART!" Is it necessary to say who screamed that?

_E-Dantes: howd u no I was a cristin?_

"A Christian?" Jazz gasped. "That could _not _be what she just said."

_Crazy4Pie: I is not soopd!!!111 im smart an don't need 2 go bak to cindergrdin!_

"She's right," Ember said. "I was thinking 'preschool' myself."

_RenesmeeScarlet: my pot is prefc!_

"So _that_'s what she's on," Danny said. "I knew it was something."

_Torgo: tis isn the wost fic wrted! My immorl is!!! Mine is ten gazllon times better!!!_

"There's something worse than Smexy!" Danny gasped.

"She has to be lying," Jazz said.

_Musiclover9419: huh? _

"Wow, she's a bright one," Ember muttered.

_E350: no no more!!1 im mad at sooprsmexymansonluvr!!!!!!1111_

"I am, too," Danny said, glaring, daring anyone to say anything about him agreeing with SmexyPhantom.

_Sfot: I aint no demon!!!!_

"No, I think the word 'demon' isn't enough, actually," Vlad said, seeming to come fully out of his shock.

"Yeah, this chick is whack!" Technus added.

_Sciencefreak330: why do u thank danny wold hate me storee?" _

"Uh, because he _would_," Danny said, rolling his eyes.

_Orpheus-izanagi: wats the talibane?_

"Oh, no wonder," Jazz said, with mock sympathy. "The poor dear has no exposure to any type of media, whatsoever, and she's horribly uninformed."

_SOLmaster: lyk I do note rit lik a 5 yrold!!!!11111_

"That's the biggest lie of the century," Ember said.

_Suguri-Takeuchi Chan: ur soooo mean!!!11 I wold bever go do anything like that!!!!!!!!_

"What review was that for, I wonder?" Danny mused.

_Thunderstorm101: teres nothing wrong with me smexy sense!!1_

Vlad's eyes glowed red. He really hoped Skulker got back from the drugstore soon.

_PPGBelle4: u cant not hold me in a box!!!!_

"Great. She's plagiarizing the Box Ghost," Danny said.

"I just thought of something," Jazz said, "We ought to write a book to help people not write like Smexy."

"Hopefully, no one writes this badly…" Vlad muttered.

_Marise Kauri: I ain a demon!!!!!_

Ember sighed. "Next chapter," she said. "Who's reading?"

"No way," Danny said.

"Is it still in rhyme?" Technus asked.

Ember nodded. "Then, I, Technus, shall rap-"

"I'll do it!" Danny yelled, grabbing the book from Ember. "For Sam!"

He took a deep breath and began reading.

-------------------------------------

Author's Note: And it's a long one. I have the next two hacks lined up (from Readergirl21 and Orpheus-izanagi). Also, sorry it took so long, but I have all the family coming to my house for vacation. Sigh. Oh, I also tried to draw Isabella. She didn't turn out too well, but I might post the sketch later.

On a lighter note, I've actually created a forum on for the G.A.M.S. and B.A.G.S., so yes, you can now actually join them.

Readergirl21: Many thanks, as always. Yeah…Scam. I ought to have Smexy call Sam 'Scram' sometime, too.

Alexia Moonlight: Gotcha. I heard nothing…

Nut and Shell: Actually, the parts in the last chapter that were really unreadable, were where Smexy was fighting for the keyboard. Those parts really didn't say anything.

Anathema's Abode: Yep. There are two Sues… and a Stu now. They're all pretty much the same, though…

Amethyst Ocean: Yes, that was your idea, and sooprsmexymansonluvr will be back soon (Sadly). Yes, the characters are still virgins… creepy thoughts, huh?

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: I'm glad you like Technus, but you'll have to tell me what you think about his rapping. Also, good idea with the drugstore. I plan to have some fun with that.

Kagamine-Spice: Clockwork isn't interfering for a few reasons. One is because he knows Danny and his friends (well… acquaintances…) will be able to stop the Sue. Another reason is because it's dangerous for him to leave Dan alone or take him somewhere else. The last is simply because he likes listening to the hacks- similar to the people reading this story.

Megalover4: Yep! You're more than welcome to join the B.A.G.S.

E-Dantes: I'd almost forgotten about Paulina. I really should bring her in… I completely understand about _Twilight_, too.

Crazy4Pie: Ah… computer crashes, the bane of my existence… To answer your question, I'm really not sure how long this story is going to be. I don't really have chapters planned out- just a vague idea of where the story is going. I've decided to do a hack every three chapters, though, and I want to get everyone's in, so I'll have to do at least six more chapters- not that that really answers your question, though. But I don't plan on ending this soon.

RenesmeeScarlet: Yes, well, there are bad fics in every section.

Torgo: Actually, they can't get Desiree to wish the book away because (well, for one, she's not there) the book cannot be affected by any type of energy essentially. Ghosts can't touch it- not even Desiree. As for the boy clone, yeah, pretty much he's popping in to help write this disaster.

Musicover9419: I know. I'm so mean to Sam and Tucker.

Coldflare101: What? You mean, you don't read this for Smexy's wonderful story? Lol. Actually, I think most people read this for the responses.

Suguri-Takeuchi Chan: lol. Thanks. Yeah, I hate writer's block.

E350: You're more than welcome to join the B.A.G.S. Yeah, being diabetic isn't the best thing in the world…

Sfot: Actually, this story is going to mangle pretty much everybody.

Sciencefreak330: ah, yes. There is now a Gary Stu. No one's safe now!

Stephenie Crow Manson: Funny, but the reason I like hacks so much is because afterwards, Smexy rants about how bad they are.

Orpheus-izanagi: I got it. I loved it, and I think Clockwork is really going to like it, too.

SOLmaster: Well, I updated, but Tucker and Sam aren't safe yet.

Thunderstorm101: I know! I had a nightmare last night about SmexyPhantom… she came and screamed for me to update a story…

PPGBelle4: Yes, I'm so glad exams are over!

HermyStar: Oh, Isabella and Elizabeth are definitely going down! You have a girl named Isabella in your story? Well… as long as she's nothing like this one, you're probably safe.

Marise Kauri: I bet Ember would love to kill a Sue.


	10. Get a Better Password!

WARNING: Due to the unusual amount of food/drink related incidents, it is recommended that you do not partake in any food and/or beverage while reading this fanfic. Eat/drink at your own risk.

Also, I own nothing except the plot. The hack belongs to ReaderGirl21.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Danny Phantom floated in midair, glaring at the pink abomination in his right hand. Still, it was better than letting Technus try to rap through Smexy's horrible rhyming. "Just get it over with," Vlad said, wondering when Skulker would return with something to stop his headache.__

Hello to all you poor souls reading the idiot Smexy's story. I'm ReaderGirl and am here because of a fabulous program that got me into the "genius" (ahem) account of SmexyPhantom. (Actually it was more like my boyfriend holding a gun to Smexy and saying, "Get out of here!" a whole lot of times. Eh, whatever. She'll just have to live and learn, I guess)

"Yes!" Ember cheered. "It's about time someone got revenge on her!"

Danny nodded. "Yeah, maybe we'll figure out how to save Sam and Tucker!"

Jazz gasped. "I just realized something!"

"What?"

"Just… what are the Sues doing to them?"

Danny's eyes widened. "SAM!" he yelled. "You're right! That… that… screw it. The darn Stu might be doing something bad to Sam! Sam, I'm coming!"

"Danny, wait!" Jazz yelled, but her brother had already phased through a wall. "Someone has to go after him! If Isabella gets him, we're doomed!"

Everyone looked at each other. With Danny, Sam, Tucker, and Skulker gone, it was just Jazz, Ember, Vlad, and Technus. "I suggest we split up," Vlad said. "I'll go after Daniel."

Suddenly, there was a loud crash. Everyone jumped as a ghost wearing a jacket and scarf with a gotee and glasses stumbled to his feet. "W-who are you?" Jazz asked.

"The Ghost Writer."

"You can stop the Sues!" Jazz cheered.

The ghost wearily shook his head. "No, they're too powerful for me. I merely came to the plot hole to warn you… the Sues suck my powers, but you can stop them."

"How?" Jazz asked.

The Ghost Writer took a deep breath. "Y-you must… must rewrite the story… you have to r-read it and rewrite it…"

"The whole thing?" Ember asked.

The Ghost Writer nodded, before vanishing in a cloud of green smoke. "Okay," Jazz said.

"I'm the strongest," Vlad said. "I'll try to keep Daniel out of harm's way. Technus, find a laptop and bring it down here. Jasmine and Ember will stay here and read this story."

Everyone nodded. Vlad and Technus vanished as Jazz took the book. "Well, at least it's a hack," she said.

_ By the way, I'm just continuing what the last brilliant hacker started up, so Isabella, (gag), is dead already.  
And I have to write this before that dim-wit calls the police to say she was held up in her own house. _

"She's probably to dumb to know how to call 9-1-1," Ember muttered.

Technus came through the ceiling and set the laptop down beside them.

_So here we go!_

When Danny finished cleaning his bed, (washing the sheets, scrubbing them, washing them again, burning them and getting new ones…), he found a note on the floor. "Oh crud," he said, reading the outside, "It's from… well, her."  
(At this point he couldn't bring himself to say "Isabella", but he couldn't resist seeing how she could mangle the English language in written form, so he forced himself to read it)

"He's braver than me," Jazz muttered.

"Or just plain stupid."

_  
"Duer Denny," He read, then guaffed. "She can't even spell my name right? What kind of trance was I under anyway?  
i luove u sooopoooo much! I m vury gad you R in luv wit me. Thand jou 4 dumpin that evul Stan and-" Danny stopped again, rereading it. _

_"Stan? Oh man, I must have lost my mind!" He patted his head gratefully. "Glad to have you back, brain. Anyway. _

_–shank you 4 nut makein me say wit my oovol, eval fader. I wove you so muct! And I wam gad you rn't as poowarfull as me cuz Im lik sopergurl. Yah! I love you Fanny Fenton!" _

_He let out a long breath of air. "Fanny? Never mind. If Sam is going to suffer with 'Stan', I can endure 'Fanny.'"_

"Correction," Ember said. "Compared to that note, your brother looks like a genius."

"Is this how teens these days… what do they say? Ask to get their freak on?" Technus asked.

"No," Jazz replied, "Only the stupid ones."

---------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere else the house, a young halfa suddenly felt like his brain was burning from somebody's horrible mutilation of the English language. He heard giggling. Sam! Hesitantly, he stopped in front of a door. What if Xavier and Sam were… uh, doing something? _For Sam! _He thought. _I'm going in!_

"BEWARE!"

Danny yelped, spinning around, and rolled his eyes. "This is so not a good time!"

"BEWARE! I AM THE BOX GHOST! MASTER OF ALL THING SQUARE!"

"Right now you're the 'Master of Headaches'," Danny mumbled. "I don't have time for this!"

Danny phased through the door. Sam and Xavier sat, just staring into each other's eyes. "Get away from her!" Danny yelled.

Xavier stood. "Danny? Is something wrong with Isabella?"

"Yes! There is! Now get away from Sam!"

"Xavier what is Danny doing here why is he trying to break us up maybe that's not Danny maybe he's some evil Plasmoosus clone!"

Danny frowned, trying to figure out why Sam was talking without pausing. In fact, she looked like she was about to turn blue from lack of air. "BEWARE!"

"Will you stop that?" Danny yelled. Of all times for the stupid Box Ghost to show up, why did he choose _now_?

"You're right Sam I will now destroy this evil Danny clone and then we can be together alone forever and ever and ever and ever!"

Xavier shot an amazingly strong ectoblast that sent Danny slamming through three walls. "Ow…" he groaned, sitting up.

------------------------------------------------------------

_  
Crumpling the paper and throwing it away, (and wishing he could burn it), Danny suddenly came alert and said, "Oh crud! Tucker!"  
_

"I'm sure Tucker would really enjoy this," Jazz said, sighing.

"Enjoy what?"

Ember, Technus, and Jazz whirled around to see Tucker. "Where're Danny, Sam, Skulker, and Plasmius?"

"In order," Jazz said, "Looking for Sam, stuck with Xavier, buying headache medicine, and looking for Danny. What happened to you?"

"I don't know… Elizabeth exploded…"

"Maybe… these Sues are destroyed temporarily when the hack kill them," Technus said.

Jazz gasped. "Of course! Elizabeth must be about to be killed, so she vanished! We haven't heard from Isabella in a while because she's already gone, so all that's left is Xavier!"

"So… what's with the computer?"

Jazz quickly filled Tucker in on everything he'd missed, and he grinned. "Can I read Elizabeth's demise?"

The girl passed him the book, and they continued reading.

_  
Elizabeth looked at Tucker, her pink eyes glowing.  
_

"I thought her eyes were green!" Technus declared.

"Really?" Ember asked. "I thought they were brown…"

"Funny. I don't even remember the color being mentioned," Tucker said.

"Maybe it's because she's not as 'smexy' as Isabella," Jazz said.

"What? How come I get the less Smexy one? With these charms and good looks-"

"I'm sure Danny would be willing to trade," Jazz said.

Tucker gulped. "Point."

_"Oh Trucker," she murmured, nuzzling her nose in his chest. "I love you sooooooo much!"  
Tucker looked dreamily down at her. "Oh Lizzy. We can always be together, right?"_

Tucker cringed.

_  
The girl giggled and flashed her now mysteriously brown eyes at him. "Sure. You is a good kisser!" _

"Hah! I knew they were brown!" Ember said, pumping her fist into the air.

_  
Danny flew in then, actually gagging so much he had to run into the bathroom and lost all his lunch… and breakfast… and possibly all the way back to the breakfast before that, too. _

"Finally, someone knows how we'd actually react in real life!" Tucker cheered.

_When he emerged, wiping his acidic mouth with his gloved hand, he got angry. "Tucker! Snap out of it!" He clapped his in front of Tuck's face, shook him, and even tried to pull them apart. No such luck.  
_

"NO! I want to get rid of my Sue!" Tucker cried.

"I'm sure Danny will save you," Jazz said.

"NO ONE WILL BE SAFE FROM ME, THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE! TREMBLE BEFORE MY ALLPOWERFUL ARSENAL OF BOXES!"

Ember rolled her eyes. Everyone ignored him, and Tucker resumed reading. Dejected, the Box Ghost pouted and sat to listen to the story.

_Feeling helpless, even with superpowers, Danny dialed Sam's number. After little discussion, she was over and the two of them together couldn't even get the leech off of Tucker. 'Stan' huffed angrily. _

"Stan?" Tucker asked.

"It's what, according to Isabella, Sam's name is," Jazz explained.

"Oh."

"Is that the Goth girl?" the Box Ghost asked.

"Yes," replied Technus, "It is the funky chick in the darkly hip apparel."

Everyone stared at him blankly. "Yes, that's her," Jazz said.

"Oh. Okay. BEWARE!"

_"How did you get rid of Isabella, Danny?"  
Danny landed on the ground. "I don't know. I think Clockwork might have had something to do with it. But Sam, I don't think we have that kind of time to find Clockwork. I think we have to figure this out on our own."  
Just then, Danny's ghost sense went off. "Oh no, I might have something else to deal with." He transformed and waited for the intruder. A muffled, "Beware!" sounded_

"HOW DARE THAT GHOST STEAL MY BATTLECRY?"

"Can't you be annoying somewhere else?" Ember asked.

"Um, dude," Tucker said, "I think that _is _you."

The Box Ghost grinned. "FINALLY! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY MIGHTY BOX-RELATED POWERS!"

_and Danny laughed. "Okay, maybe I won't. _

"HOW DARE HE UNDERESTIMATE ME, THE BOX GHOST?"

"He's more annoying than white-haired computer nerd over there," Ember muttered.

Technus glanced at her and looked hurt. "It's okay," Tucker said sympathetically. "I know how you feel."

_Wait-" he paused, his eyes lighting with an idea. He quickly laid out the main points and Sam was chuckling evilly by the time he was done. "Okay Danny, let's try it."  
_

Tucker grinned, barely able to wait for Elizabeth's certain destruction.

_Sam smiled, and tapped Elizabeth on the shoulder. The girl finally looked up, stopping the super long kiss between them just long enough to say, "Um hullo? Goth gill? You is cutting into my Tacker time."  
_

"Tacker?" Tucker asked. "What?"

"After reading Danny Pantson, Gosty-gost, Stan, Slam, Scam, Salmontha, and Plasmoosus, are you really surprised?" Jazz asked.

"Point."

_Tacker? Never mind. "No, I think you'll want to here this. There's a ghost. Aren't you half-ghost? You need to protect your…" she gulped painfully, "…boyfriend."  
_

"I am not her boyfriend," Tucker muttered.

"It's okay. I could never get a date, either," Technus said.

"Oh, I'm sure you could find someone who'd love to date you," Jazz said.

"Really?"

Jazz nodded. "Yeah, well, I'm not volunteering," Ember said.

Then, as if to be sure no one had forgotten him, the Box Ghost yelled, "NO ONE SHALL HAVE A DATE, FOR THEY SHALL BE BURIED UNDER MY AMAZING AND HEAVY BOXES!"

"SHUT-UP!" everyone else yelled.

Tucker and Jazz both vaguely wondered when Skulker was going to return with the headache medicine, and Ember and Technus had just discovered that ghosts could, in fact, get headaches. Who'd have thought?

_Elizabeth jumped into action and transformed, her jumpsuit showing off her strangely thin midriff and enormously large chest. Tucker was ogling at her, and she whispered something in his ear. Sam reminded herself, Whatever it is that she's saying, it's probably gross and not good grammar. You don't need to hear._

"I can only _imagine _what she said," Ember drawled.

"So can I," Tucker muttered.

"I AM-"

Ember growled and gave the ghost a look that plainly said 'say one more word, and I will blow you to pieces and then feed those pieces to my ghost dog'. The Box Ghost took the hint.

_  
The ghost girl turned on Sam. "Where is it, Pan?"  
_

"That's a new one," Tucker said.

_Seething, Sam pointed out the window. Hopefully she could shake Tucker out of his trance.  
"Hi, Tucker." She said, in a too-bright voice. (Hehehe, try imagining that!) _

Everyone did try, and none of them succeeded.

_"Guess what I have?"  
Tucker was staring out the window, seeming to see Elizabeth for the first time. "Sam, do you see that girl out there? She is so hot! I wonder if she'd date me?" He looked at Sam. "You think?"  
_

"Please say no," Tucker muttered.

"You could do so much better than that untalented and uncoordinated Sue!" Technus comforted.

"Um…yeah! You're right!"

_Sam, cheerfully, ignored the question. "I have something behind my back, Tucker. It's for you. Do you want it?"  
"Want something?" He asked, his eyes glazed. "I want her. Whoever she is."  
_

Tucker whimpered. "No, I don't. No, I don't."

_A ping went off in Sam's head. He doesn't remember her!  
"Here's what's behind my back!" She chirped, pulling out an eco gun. "Just for you! See that girl? The hot one?" Sam was inwardly throwing up. _

"I don't blame her," Ember said.

"Me either. I never thought I'd want to shoot a girl so badly in my entire life," Tucker said.

"That's very psychopathic," Jazz said.

Tucker snorted. "You want to shoot her, too."

"Well, um…"

"I SHALL BURY HER UNDER THE INCREDIBLE WEIGHT OF MY BOXES FILLED WITH…WITH GUNS!"

"Awesome! Where are they?" Tucker asked. "We could shoot her!"

"Shoot her? THE BOXES WOULD BE REALLY, REALLY HEAVY AND HURT WHEN THEY HIT HER!"

"Er…sure," Jazz said.

Everyone wondered secretly how dumb the Box Ghost must be. Common sense would say that if you had a box with ANY weapon in it, you'd use the weapon, rather than throw the box holding said weapon. Then, again, this WAS the _Box Ghost_ they were thinking about.

_"She's working for…Plasmius! She's a clone of some super model or something."  
Tucker scrunched his eye brows. "Then I better shoot her! Even if she is hot…"  
This is too easy.  
_

"Yes!" Tucker yelled. "She's about to be Sue dead!"

Jazz and Ember rolled their eyes at the terrible pun, while Technus and the Box Ghost burst out laughing.

_  
Meanwhile, Danny was distracting Elizabeth with the ever-present Box Ghost. (Fear him!)_

"YES! EVERYONE SHOULD TREMBLE IN FEAR BEFORE ME, THE BOX GHOST AND MY POWER OVER-"

"Do you _ever _shut-up?" Ember asked. "You're worse than Youngblood!"

"-ALL SQUARE SHAPED OBJECTS! BEWARE!"

_When Tucker fired, the Sue began spurting rainbow goo._

"Finally!" everyone cheered.

"Finally, what?"

Vlad phased into the room. "Where's Danny?" Jazz asked.

"I can't find the little badger."

"I hope he's alright," Jazz muttered.

"I'm sure he's fine," Tucker said.

"Now why are you cheering?"

"I just shot Elizabeth."

"Excellent," Vlad said.

"Dude! She's your _daughter_!" Tucker protested.

Vlad glared at him. "Don't you _dare _call that abomination my daughter."

_"Wait! NO! I'm hot! I'm hot! Please! No!!" _

_Danny laughed, (all malevolent-like), and sucked the soupy stuff into the thermos. _

"An evil laugh?" Vlad asked. "I _am _teaching that boy something! Yes!"

"_Loser…_" Technus muttered.

"What was that?" Vlad yelled.

"Uh…lose _her_. As in, Tucker needs to _lose her_," the ghost said.

"HE SHALL LOSE HER BENEATH MY GREAT BOXES OF DOOM!"

"Read," Vlad growled, his hands glowing with ectoplasm. "And you- get out of here before I blast you to smithereens."

"BEWARE-"

The ghost yelped as Vlad shot him with an ecotblast. Then, the Box Ghost phased through the ceiling and was gone. "It's finally quiet," Jazz muttered, massaging her head.

_"Hey, Tucker! I think we have some pranking to do!"_

A few minutes later, Tucker and Danny, with a beautiful distraction from Sam, had successfully blended Elizabeth's remains into a tub of pre-mixed smoothie. They were about to walk away when Sam tugged on their shirts. "Wait! Looks who's buying themselves a smoothie, guys?"  
Danny choked back a burst of laughter. "Well lookie, lookie. If it isn't good ol' Uncle Vlad. This should be good."  


Tucker chanced a glance at Vlad, who had an expression on his face that could've been either appalled or curious.

_Vlad absently paid for the drink and, after the first sip, began changing. "Woah, are those pink?" Tucker asked, laughing.  
_

_Instead of the black-suited mayor, in front of them stood a suspiciously hour-glass shaped Masters._

For once in his entire life, Vlad Masters was speechless. "Y-you have to be…"

_Danny wandered over and pretended to bump into…her. "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. Are you trying to find the dress shop? It's that way."  
_

"I'm a _girl_?" Vlad yelled.

Everyone stared. No one knew Vlad's voice could go that high. The multi-millionaire gasped and glared at the book. "I'm going to hunt down Smexy and kill her."

_Vlad began to angrily retort, but his voice had turned miraculously squeaky and high. Sam spurted out laughter. "Hey, I like your voice. Is it to match your dress? Or is it your shoes? And where on earth did you get that purse?"  
Tucker narrowed his eyes at the bag in question. "Hey, I think my mom has one of those!"_

"Just pretend it's a man purse," Technus said.

"I do _not carry a purse_!" Vlad yelled. "I'm going to hunt down Smexy, lock her in a box-"

"Did someone say box? I AM THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE!"

"Go away, you pest!" Vlad yelled.

"I think he's lost it," Technus whispered.

"Did he ever _have _it?" Tucker asked.

The pair chortled, when Vlad turned on them. "What did you say!?"

"Nothing!" they protested.

Tucker hastily began reading again, actually fearing for his life now.

_  
"What did you do to me, you medaling kids?" He – erm, excuse me – she said, stomping her high-heeled foot.  
Sam laughed. "We didn't do anything. You drank the Sue smoothie. Now, if you'll excuse us?"  
With the Sues defeated, Tucker and Danny both out of their respective trances, they could all move on. And they definitely lived much more happily in the ever after then they would have with those clowns!_

"I hate hacks now," Vlad growled. "I hope Skulker gets back with that headache medicine very soon."

"Well, all that's left are the review responses. It's almost sad how easy it is for these hackers to get them out of Smexy's computer," Tucker said.

"Almost?" Ember asked.

_Crazy4Pie: sooprsmexymansonluvr stole me danne bok cuz it had a pic of that gothy prud in it!_

"I think I just died a little inside," Jazz said.

_Alexia Moonlight: I can't two spel sooprcalifragelisticxpeealodoshes!_

"What on Earth?" Jazz asked.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," Ember said. "There's a song about it."

_PPGBelle4: don't not attac me agin or danny will come n kick your but!!!!!!1111_

"No, he'd probably cheer wildly," Tucker said.

_Kagamine-Spice: mi poetree is two good 4 u!!1 I cold be the next edmela pickseoe!!!_

"Who?" Tucker asked.

Jazz frowned. "I've never heard of… um, her?"

"It's like a cross between Emily Dickenson and Edgar Allen Poe," Vlad said. "Maybe the dolt thinks they're the same person. Considering her apparent lack of brain cells, it wouldn't surprise me."

_Thunderstorm101: mi riting is not get n worser!!!!!_

"That's the biggest lie ever told," Jazz said. "I'm beginning to think Smexy is a compulsive liar."

_Amethyst Ocean: I speako el spanisho dos! I glado you amora my storyo._

No one knew what to make of that. "Well… her Spanish is worse than her English," Jazz finally said.

_E350: plamelioosus will not hont me in me slep!!!!!_

"Oh, I'd _love _you haunt you in your sleep! I'd like to get a straitjacket and lock you in a bo- house. And leave you there!" Vlad snapped.

_Readergirl21: if u wont ur I 2 stop burning use ear drops!!!!_

"Ear drops?" Jazz asked. "That doesn't make sense, and ear drops are like, 99% alcohol! That would _hurt_!"

"Maybe she should just stop reading," Tucker said.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

_Anathema's Abode: lyk yeasss!!!!! I luv have frends!!111111_

"She has dawgs?" Technus asked.

"I hope they're not as dumb as her," Ember muttered.

_Orpheus-izanagi: I do rite and spel write!!!!!!!!!_

"Did someone say 'box'?"

Everyone looked up as the ghost phased through the ceiling. "No one said anything about a box," Jazz said.

"AH-HAH! I AM THE BOX GHOST! BEWARE!"

Then, he phased through the room again, before anyone could do anything.

"Does he just randomly fly in like that all the time?" Ember asked.

"Yes," Jazz, Tucker, and Vlad said at once.

_Megaslover4: duh! I no not 2 jump in a volcaneo!!! U cold get hurt climin up the side._

"Her stupidity had reached epic proportions," Vlad said.

"Epic fail," Technus added.

_E-dantes: tank u sooooooooooooooo muc 4 ur support111 u is osume!!!!_

"Uh…yeah," Jazz said sarcastically.

_SOLmaster: nun! Isabella and danny r prefct!!!!_

"I beg to differ," Jazz said. "I would never let my baby brother date that abomination."

_Musiclover9419: I don need no help riting!!1 im already awsum1!!1_

"Is this author on something?" Technus asked. "Like pot? And I'm sure she's not really that hot. Hey! That rhymed. I, Technus, the Master of Rap, feel another pimpin' song coming!"

Tucker looked at him curiously, but Jazz grabbed the book and hastily began reading.

_Molly Mae: I kin not reed ur post. Its all werd an stuff. Whoses freddy?_

"We could call you T-Diddy," Tucker said.

"Yes, child! I am now T-Diddy, Master of All Things Cool!"

"Read!" Ember hissed.

_Sciencefreak330: my stor does has a plote!!!!!!_

"If it is it must be transparent," Tucker said.

Only Technus laughed at his lame pun.

_KaiserPhoenix92: darc dann wold ot kill me!!!!!!!!!!111_

"Yes, he would," Tucker and Jazz said.

"And that's the end of that," Jazz said, "Which means the Sues will probably come back."

Everyone sighed. That wasn't something they wanted.

------------------------------------------------------

In the drug store, the female clerk frowned, watching a customer in a huge, robotic suit pace the aisle. Maybe he was going to a costume party or something. Although at minimum wage, who really cared?

Skulker frowned, staring at the mixture of medicines- _Aleive, Advil, Ibuprofun, Naproxium Sodium, Pamrpin…_

He read the back of a blue bottle. '_For all aches'. _He picked up another one. _'For aches, head aches, back and joint pains, irritability'._

Skulker smirked. Head aches and irritability. Perfect.

-------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Gasp! Is that an actual _plot_? Yes, yes, it is. Anyway, there's not much to say about this one, but you can think ReaderGirl21 for the hack. I have the next hack lined up, too. Hm… also, kudos to whoever can guess what kind of pills Skulker found. Also, I'd like to wish Anathema's Abode a happy 13th birthday, which she had last week. She also brought up an interesting point. There isn't a name for the JazzxGhostwriter pairing. Any ideas?

KaiserPhoenix92: Many thanks.

Sciencefreak330: Yes, Smexy's rhyme is pretty pointless. I do rather like Technus rapping, though… lol. No idea where that came from.

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: You're very welcome. Technus rapping just puts this very funny image in my head. Heehee.

Molly Mae: I don't know… Smexy _is _pretty stupid.

Musiclover9419: Great! I like it when people laugh… they say it's the best medicine.

InspiredChaos: Thank you kindly.

SOLmaster: Actually, I already figured Danny and Co. would try to rewrite the story. And I _have _to squeeze in 'Phany-Pants' somewhere now…

E-Dantes: Well, the relatives are gone. I don't hate them, it's just nice to have my house back… I do actually know where Smexy's story is going to end, and it's probably not what everyone is expecting. As for Smexy spelling the reviewer's names right… she copy/pastes.

Megaslover4: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the story.

Orpheus-izanagi: Oh, it's great, and it's going to be the next hack… so within the next three chapters.

Anathema's Abode: Well, welcome to the world of teen-hood. It also means that you're now officially allowed to read this T fanfic. : )

ReaderGirl21: It's funny, but I'm not even sure exactly what it said…

Stephenie Crow Manson: Well, I'm glad you like Technus rapping, and I'm very glad you didn't die from choking.

E350: Well, having Technus haunting your dreams is better than… SmexyPhantom…

Amethyst Ocean: Yeah, jealous Danny is kind of cute…

Thunderstorm101: I'm glad you enjoyed it… as for disturbed, well, at least SmexyPhantom isn't your alter ego… it's kind of scary.

Kagamine-Spice: Yah for getting an account!

PPGBelle4: At this point in time, only Smexy can get reviews, but when the characters start trying to rewrite the story, then you can write reviews to them.

Nut and Shell: Lol. The Plot Hole of DOOM! Oh, and I love your kill-Smexy scenarios.

Alexia Moonlight: No, sadly, she can't spell a word with it right in front of her. There are guns, but sadly, the Box Ghost had them….

HermyStar: Many thanks! I was actually a little worried about Technus's rap. I wasn't sure whether people would like it or not.

Crazy4Pie: Yes, any hacks can have Xavier in them. Sooprsmexymansonlovr is actually going to come back next chapter anyway.


	11. Smexy Returns!

Disclaimer: Uh….drool…

--------------------------------------------------

Danny dejectedly floated back down to the dungeon. "Hey, guys," he said glumly.

"What happened?" Jazz asked.

"I couldn't save Sam."

"Dude, that's rough."

"Tucker!"

The tech geek grinned. "Yep!"

"We figured out how to get rid of SmexyPhantom," Jazz said. "We just have to rewrite the story."

"Then, let's get to it," Danny said, taking the laptop and beginning to type.

Soon, Vlad hovered over the boy's shoulder. "Daniel, your typing skills are atrocious, and…_what?_"

Vlad grabbed the computer. "Hey!" Danny yelled.

The elder halfa began typing quickly. "I T-Diddy, Master of All Technology, should be typing!"

Technus reached for the computer next. "Hey, there's no way some _geek _is going to tell the story!" Ember protested.

The next ten minutes passed with everyone fighting over the computer. Finally, Vlad yelled, "_Enough_!"

He took the computer and grimaced at the screen. "Well, how'd we do?" Danny asked.

"Well, _Daniel, _my part is the best."

"It is not!"

Danny took the computer. "What does it say?" Tucker asked.

Danny frowned. "Well…"

_Danny Phantom was flying over the skies of Amity Park with Sam, after he kicked 'Plasmoosus's' butt back to Wisconsin, where he could sulk and be a lonely, bitter old man with his cat. Al;turoiler But little did Daniel know that Vlad PLASMIUS was hatching the most brilliant plan ever. Finally, he would have Maddie and Daniel in his grasp! THEN, TECHNUS, MASTER OF ALL TECHNOLOGY TOOK OVER THE WORLD!!!! It wasn't long, though, before the beautiful and seductive Ember conquered the Luckily, FryrTuck, the hottest guy in Amity Park was there boxes boxes boxes boxes BEWARE!!! Jazz woke from her sleep, startled, worrying about her younger brother._

_Danny Phantom! Vlad…BOX GHOST!!!!! "You're going down, Vlad!"_

_Then, the devilishly handsome Tucker was eaten by a dragon!!!!!!!! Ember, you will remember. Ember, one thing remains. Ember, so warm and Vlad shot an ectoblast at the idiotic, bumbling, stupid Jack Fenton, but he was such a stupid cheesehead that the blast bounced off a pole and hit him in his boxes!!_

Jazz gulped. "It's worse than SmexyPhantom's story."

Everyone gasped. It really _was _worse than Smexy's story. "You're right, Jasmine. We can't all type this story at the same time. We must…take turns. You read the next chapter, and I'll type my version. Then, we'll let someone else type."

"We need rules," Jazz said. "One, you have to stick to the plot…er, sort of, and you have to use Isabella, Xavier, and Elizabeth. Fair enough?"

Everyone nodded. "I have returned!"

Nearly everyone cheered as Skulker emerged with a bottle of medicine. "Excellent!" Vlad said, taking the pink bottle. "Wait…what is this? _Pamprin! _You got _Pamprin!_"

Jazz and Ember both burst out laughing. "What?" Skulker asked. "It said for aches _and _irritability."

"These are…are..!"

"What's the big deal?" Danny asked, taking the bottle from Vlad and depositing two pills in his hand. "I'm going to get some water."

"Danny, those are for girls!"

Danny frowned, still clueless. "How can a medicine be only for girls?"

"Daniel, do you know what PMS means?" Vlad asked, really not wanting to explain the female anatomy to him.

"No…should I?"

"They're _period _pills, dipstick!" Ember yelled in exasperation.

"Oh…"

Danny dropped the pills, suddenly blushing deep red. Vlad sighed. "Skulker, go to the drug store and get Ibuprofen."

The hunter ghost nodded, still uncertain as to what the big deal was. After he left, Vlad turned to the computer and nodded to Tucker, who was holding the book and therefore, stuck with reading it.

_Omg1!!1!11 tat dumy dum dum reedergurl haked me accont!!!!!!! Why r there so many meen pople in the world!?!?_

"Pople?" Danny asked, raising an eyebrow, "And I missed a hack?"

Tucker nodded, smiling. "Elizabeth died."

_Lyk every1 nows I is a good writr!! Shes jus gelos!_

"Yes, she must be _drowning _in her jealousy of SmexyPhantom," Danny said sarcastically.

_Soooo sum1 put lyk an evul curse on her or sumthin1!!!!! She deserves it!1 o an me an sooprsmexymansonluvr are fredns agin!!!!1 yah!1111 so we gots to make Sam good!!!!!11_

Danny's eyes flashed bright green, and Tucker gulped. He hoped Danny didn't try to ectoblast the book with him in the line of fire. Instead, he turned to Vlad. "Uh…Vlad?"

"No sex with minors," Vlad said, "As if I'd write something like that…"

Danny breathed a sigh of relief.

_Soooooo that evul plasmmusus kidnapped Ssm!! 'oh no!!!!" Isabella/Elizabeth gased. _

Danny snickered. "Boys are so immature," Ember muttered.

_'Danny Phany-pants! I is soooooo scakred!!'_

Now it was Jazz and Ember's turn to laugh. "Phany-pants!" Jazz gasped.

"That's hilarious!" Ember agreed.

"It's not that funny…" Danny muttered.

Tucker snickered. "Tucker! You're supposed to be on my side!"

"It makes me wonder just what Isabella does with your pants, Daniel," Vlad said, continuing to type.

Danny's blush deepened. "Tucker, read. NOW!"

_But firs they has to defeet tat evul gost gider!!!! _

Technus suddenly looked interested.

_So the were so osum_

_The flew past a bum_

"A _bum_?" Danny asked. "I could do better than that!"

"A monkey could do better than that," Ember said.

"She should have flown past BOXES!"

"Go away, Crate Creep!" Jazz called.

Ember, Technus, and Tucker burst out laughing. Vlad looked confused, and Danny put a hand to his forehead. "Jazz, for the last time, it's not the Crate Creep. It's-"

"THE BOX GHOST!"

The Box Ghost floated over behind Vlad. "What are you doing?"

"I'm rewriting this mess of a story, which I cannot do with you hovering behind me! Now go before I _incinerate _you!"

The Box Ghost shouted a quick "BEWARE" before vanishing. Tucker began reading again.

'_I'll sho u,' danny said to the rider_

'_we'll take you out…out sider!!!!!'_

'_nooo111' said the evul smurfy gost_

'_I shall win1111'_

"Smurf?" Jazz questioned. "He doesn't look like a _smurf_!"

_tat writr fot hard_

_but he was beeten and trown in a tun of lard!!!!_

"Because there just _happens _to be a ton of lard nearby," Jazz said.

Technus discreetly took note of that.

_He cam bak even strunger!!!111_

_Kk, now sooprsmexymansonluvr is go 2 rite!!!_

_Sam was in a dark oppressive dungeon in vlads house_

"Why does everyone think I have a _dungeon _in my house?"

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I don't know, fruit loop."

Vlad growled. "Normally, little badger, there isn't a dungeon in my house!"

_Let me go vlad sam said. _

_Never you shall be my bride! Vlad declared._

"Ew…" everyone said.

"That's wrong on so many levels," Jazz muttered.

_Sam let a single diamond like sparkling tear fall down her cheek. Oh Xavier she said I miss you so much that my heart aches as if it has been dumped into radioactive acid and shot with several purified arrows woe is me!_

"Dumped in radioactive acid?" Danny asked. "What on _Earth_…?"

"These are horrible metaphors," Tucker muttered.

"NOW EVERYONE SHALL LISTEN TO THE MASTER T-DIDDY!"

Everyone turned to stare at Technus, who'd taken Tucker's hat and turned it around backwards. "I shall now combat Smexy's horrible poem with my super fly rap!"

"Cover your ears!" Ember yelled.

Technus…er, T-Diddy, began rapping.

"Yo, me an' my peeps were so totally fly,

When they hit up a place where the Ghost Writer lie,

'Yo, yo, hit the street, you hoe,' he said.

'Yo, you're gonna pay,' said my dawg Danny who was seein' red.'

Jazz looked nervously at her brother, unsure if he was about to cry, faint, or shoot an ectoblast right at the ghost's face. Vlad looked bored, continuing to type. Tucker had pulled out his PDA and was recording the song. Ember winced, secretly wishing the Box Ghost would interrupt. _She _wasn't going to let Technus know he bothered her that much, though. "Oh, can I be in your rap?" Tucker asked.

Everyone stared at him. "Oh…okay," Technus said.

'So they started fightin' some,

Scarin' off the hobos and bums.

'yo, yo, Danny, catch!' said my big dawg Tuck,

But Danny missed the thermos and said, 'ah, f-"

Jazz quickly threw her hands over her brother's ears. "Jazz, I've heard someone cuss before," Danny complained.

'But the Ghost Writer was so slick,

He bummed around and said, 'You little fick!'

'Yo, yo, yo, you're going down,

'You bloated cow.'

"It's done!" Vlad said.

Everyone jumped to read what he'd written, except for Technus and Tucker. "I'll read it," Vlad said.

"Wait…er, we're not done with the chapter," Tucker pointed out.

Danny sighed. "I guess we have to finish it, then."

They sat back down. "I doubt we have to rewrite the review responses," Tucker said.

The others nodded. Technus pouted because his great rap had been interrupted.

_Crazy4Pie: I does 2 no tat a kumquat it!!!!! It's a tipe of game they play in eNgland!_

"Can I kill myself now?" Ember asked. "Again? Because Smexy makes me want to."

"She'll be gone soon," Jazz comforted.

_Jespbh: lyk wat? I luv animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"If Sam were here, she'd say something about the poor animals," Danny sighed.

_HermyStar: I am grdiated!!1 I'm 23!!!!_

"WHAT?" everyone yelled at once.

Danny nearly fainted. How could any twenty-three year-old be _that _stupid?

_PPGBelle4: I isn fun 2 a tack!!! U sholdn rite bad things bot pople!_

"What about all the bad things you've wrote about _me _doing?" Danny nearly shrieked.

_E-Dantes: El espanol? Oh,! I speak German, too!!!!!! _

"Spanish and German don't sound anything alike!" Jazz protested.

_Thunderstorm101: I aint fun to hak an my charrie AREn Sues!!!!!!!111_

"Compulsive liar," Jazz confirmed.

"I think SmexyPhantom's problems run a bit deeper than that," Vlad replied dryly.

_E350: Gottler tapedanvin? I don git it._

Everyone stared, trying to figure out what Smexy was trying to say. They quickly gave up, deciding it was hopeless.

_Musiclover9419: its no fun tat some1 hackeded me!!!!!!!!11_

"Really?" Tucker asked. "Because I sure had fun reading that hack."

_Sciencefreak330: tis is no tehh worst storeee ever ritten1!!!!_

"Yes, it is," everyone chorused.

_Kagamine-Spice: I is only on caffeine- no drugs!!!!!_

"I'm not sure which surprises me more," Vlad said, "That she doesn't think caffeine is a drug- when it is, or that she actually spelled it right."

"It probably took her an hour to do," Danny said.

_Rainbowstrike: u onle need spell chech if you ciant spelle!!!!!_

"And the irony of that statement…?" Ember asked, rolling her eyes.

_SOLMaster: why wold dann phany-pants wana c me hacked?!!?_

Danny 'Phany-pants' growled. "I _love _to see her hacked. I'd love it even more to see her _hacked limb from limb with a chainsaw!"_

Everyone stared. "Well, Daniel…"

Danny glared at him, when they heard a high-pitched voice from above. "_Danny!_"

"Read, Vlad, read!" Tucker yelled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Ah, you didn't _really _think you'd get to read Vlad's story in this chapter, did you? Well, you do get to read it next chapter, and we get a little relief from the evil Sues. That being said, on to the real review responses! Also, ReaderGirl21 ought to read the reviews; some are more for her than they are for me.

Crazy4Pie: Yes, a plot! Gasp, right?

Jespbh: Thanks, and Danny can't wait to get rid of Xavier either.

HermyStar: Thanks, and T-Diddy appreciates your support.

PPGBelle4: Yes, them rewriting this is going to be…_interesting _to say the least.

E-Dantes: Hugs back! Yeah, poor Danny and Sam…

Thunderstorm101: That would be interesting, to make her a separate account and like paste her story in. Maybe correct the spelling some, but keep the plot and characters. It'd certainly be interesting. Then, I might have to write her…scenes, though.

E350: Yes, poor, poor Vlad.

Musiclover9419: Thanks! I almost feel bad for Skulker, though. I love the Box Ghost, though. He's so funny.

Sciencefreak330: Yes, well, Vlad's version of the story comes next. I've actually already written most of it. Danny's going to have funny reactions…

Kagamine-Spice: I feel like my brain is melting every time I type in Smexy-talk.

Rainbowstrike: Well, my spellcheck doesn't like trying to write 'Smexy' either… I'm glad I managed to finally get the plot really going, though. I was a little worried about it.

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: Ah, yes. Now when I do original writing, I generally scribble down my character's eye and hair colors. It's funny that the readers remember it though and the author doesn't. One that really stands out for me is in _Brisingr _by Christopher Paolini, the character Murtagh's hair goes from brown to black. I could barley focus on the scene because I was so annoyed by his hair color. Lol.

SOLMaster: Thank you, but come on! I couldn't _really _pass up 'Phany-pants'.


	12. Never Trust a Cosplayer

In a mansion somewhere in Wisconsin, Danny, Tucker, Vlad, Ember, Jazz, Technus, and the Box Ghost sat ready to rewrite the horrible mangled story written by the less-than-clever SmexyPhantom. Above them came beautiful, melodic screams from the Sues that had reappeared between the previous hack and the last chapter. Vlad glanced over those present, and he began to read.

_The incredibly polished, refined, elegant, rich, attractive, devilishly handsome—_

"And _I _am somehow the arrogant one?" Danny asked.

"My section of the story," Vlad replied, "And it's not arrogance if everything I say is true."

Danny rolled his eyes. "You forgot pedophile, nymphomaniac—"

"The exploits of SmexyPhantom's…_Plasmoosus _do not apply to me. Now, if you'll kindly be quiet, I'll finish this chapter before a certain girlfriend of yours bangs down the door."

As if to prove him right, there was a sound cry of: _Dannnnny-kunnnnnn!_

Tucker groaned. "Now they're speaking Japanese! SmexyPhantom must be reading some manga or something!"

"Or maybe Smexy is watching one of the totally happening abridged series about the wickedy-wack anime!" Technus added.

"Vlad…" Danny whined.

The billionaire happened to be as annoyed as Danny and continued.

_Vlad PLASMIUS tapped his fingers along the edge of his dining room table. Before him, rested a silver laptop. Yes, everything was falling into place perfectly. Now he just needed a pawn to do his bidding. But who? Certainly, it had to be someone… _impressionable_. It needed to be someone who he could use easily—someone Daniel would never suspect. Leaning back in his chair, a hint of a smirk played across handsome features. Maybe it was time to do some 'charity work.'_

"You…charity? Yeah, right," Danny muttered.

"THE CHRISTMAS SEASON IS THE BIGGEST SEASON FOR CHARITY AND THE MAIL, SO THERE ARE BOXES!"

"That was totally pointless!" Ember yelled, suddenly slamming her guitar over the Box Ghost's head.

The ghost yelped and vanished through the ceiling, leaving a very enraged ghostly pop star. She moved over to sit by Jazz, while Danny subtly moved away from her. Vlad merely continued with his story.

_Yes, it was time to put his clever, intricate, awesome, so-clever-poor-little-puny-Daniel-would-never-see-it-coming_

' Poor, little, puny Daniel' growled and shot an ectoblast at the computer. His eyes widened with astonishment when the blast bounced off harmlessly and hit the Box Ghost, who'd just reappeared. "You. Are. So. Dead!" Danny declared. "Just wait until it's my turn!"

"I'll take that as a challenge, Daniel, and I'm sure you remember how much I _love _challenges."

_Plan. What was his plan, you may ask? It was simple. He was going to find a young girl to befriend Daniel. He could do it so easily. There were plenty of orphanages out there. One girl would be enough to complete his brilliant plan. That was all he needed. Leaning forward a bit to look at his computer screen, the ever refined Masters chuckled. Isabella Marie-Fleur. Clearly a girl of good breeding. It really was too bad about her parents' car accident, but…ah, well, nothing could be done about that. The girl surely wanted a home, and he would give her one—for a price._

Danny snickered. "That sounds so wrong, Vladdie."

"What's wrong with it?" Vlad asked. "I think my portion of the story is rather good!"

"For the right price?" Danny quoted. "It sounds like you're going to…to, well, _you know…_"

"Bed her?" Technus suggested.

Danny blushed. "Yeah, er, sure."

"Play Monopoly? Play card games? Put the key in the hole? Reproduce? Share bodily flu—"

"We _get _it!" Jazz and Ember interrupted.

"Really," Jazz muttered. "We get it."

Technus gave them an offended glance. "Well…" he grumbled. "I thought those were pretty clever…"

"It's okay," Tucker comforted him.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the house, the influence of the Sues was beginning to lessen. Sam was ogling Xavier when he vanished in a poof of rainbow sparkles. "Huh?" she asked, blinking rapidly.

The Goth nearly screamed when the sparkles rose up into a giant blob monster. She ran from the room and slammed the door behind her. "Oh God, oh God, oh God…"

Her mouth tasted like sugar, and she nearly gagged. "Please, tell me I didn't kiss him…"

"Lick omg! Tis tat evul samula!!!!!!!1!"

Sam looked down the hallway at the hideously deformed Sue. For a few moments, she stared in morbid fascination at the girl's huge chest, very scrawny waist, huge, round, multicolored eyes, and sparkles. "Are you supposed to be threatening?" Sam asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"You is goin donnnn!!1"

The Sue (Sam wasn't sure if it was Isabella or Elizabeth; they both looked pretty much the same) sauntered forward when she tripped over her ankle-length hair. She fell with a pained cry, and Sam promptly ran over the Sue, not feeling the least bit sorry.

Sam ran through the mansion. "Danny! Tucker! Jazz!"

No answer. Then, suddenly, the Sue was there. Sam gasped and took a step back. "But…but how? How did you catch up like that?"

"heehehehehehe!!!!1 I useded me sparkle powerses!!!!" the Sue cackled.

Sam winced at such mutilation of her native tongue. "Go…go jump off a bridge, you stupid Sue!"

"I isn stupid! I'm binomial! Seeee? Coomo estoss!?!? Me llama es de Isabella!!! You es de going downo!!!"

The Sue fired an ectoblast at her, and Sam dodged behind a shelf. There was a loud blast as books flew into the air. Isabella continued talking in what Sam thought was Spanish, although maybe gibberish would've been more appropriate. "Danny!" she yelled.

* * *

Meanwhile, twenty miles away, Skulker was once more on the medicine aisle. The cashier sighed in boredom as her manager walked by. The manager backtracked and frowned. "Lisa, what is…he…wearing?"

Bored, the cashier glanced at the robot ghost and shrugged. The automatic doors opened, and there was a loud squeal. "Oh. My. God. Look!"

The customers were a boy and girl. One had enormous spiky hair and was dressed in some sort of pleather. The girl was a redhead with shorts and a yellow top; in all actuality, she looked just like Misty off Pokemon. "Dude, what is he?" the boy asked.

"I don't know! Maybe he's…an android?" the girl suggested.

"Oh, maybe he's a Duel Monster!" the boy gasped. "I have got to take a picture with him! I'm the King of Games! Oh my God, wait until my mom sees this!"

The pleather-clad boy ran up to the ghost, who was trying to remember which medicine Vlad said to buy. There sure were a bunch. "Dude!"

The teen tapped on the ghost's metal armor, and Skulker whirled around, weapons blaring. "Who _dares _disturb me, Skulker, the Ghost Zone's greatest hunter!"

The boy frowned. "Skulker? Hunter? Hm…I don't think I have that card…"

Surprised, Skulker cautiously withdrew his weapons. "Card?"

"Like, yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh card."

"Unless he's a Pokemon," the girl suggested. "Totally awesome weapons, by the way."

"Uh…" Skulker stared at them in bewilderment. What on Earth were they _wearing_? And what happened to that one kid's hair?

"Hm. So, like, can we take a picture?" the boy asked.

"Why?" Skulker inquired.

"Because that's the best cosplay I've _ever _seen," the girl explained.

The hunter ghost grimaced. Cosplay? For once, he wished that annoying super-nerd ghost was there. He'd probably know what a 'cosplayer' was. He growled. "I don't have time for you whelps! I need headache medicine!"

"Oh…okay," the boy said, shrugging. "What about Advil?"

"No!"

The girl pushed past the boy, her eyes wide. "For headaches, you need some ganja. It's _amazing_."

She withdrew what looked like a plastic bag of herbs from her purse. Skulker looked at her skeptically. "And…you put that in tea? Or what?"

"Yeah, sure. You can. Trust me, you won't have a headache after this."

"How much?"

"Free, if you'll take a picture with my boyfriend," the girl bargained.

Skulker sighed. Well, if it got Vlad off his back, why not?

* * *

_Isabella Marie-Fleur wasn't a pretty girl, but she wasn't necessarily ugly, either. She was slender with large, beautiful eyes, and long, curly hair. Unfortunately, she was physically weak; her curly hair was overwhelmingly frizzy, and her nose was too big for her face. She wasn't pale or tan, but somewhere in between, and in most respects, she was a quirky, quiet, average girl. Digging her feet into the ground beneath her, she paused on the swing. Someone wanted to adopt her—someone she'd never even met._

_ "Are you scared?"_

_ Red-haired Elizabeth O'Connor sat on the swing beside her friend. Elizabeth was very short—only five feet for her seventeen years, but on the swings, it was harder to tell. Isabella gave her a slight smile. "A little."_

_ "You could…well, it…maybe you could say no. I'll be eighteen in a few months, and I could…" the girl's voice trailed off._

_ Isabella stared at her feet and shivered a little against the cold. "What's his name?" Elizabeth asked._

_ "Vladimir Masters," Isabella replied. _

_ "Sounds familiar," Elizabeth answered. "In fact, I think I read something about a clever, devilishly handsome, gorgeous, sublime—"_

"Are you through abusing every adjective in the English language?" Danny complained, crossing his arms.

"Tsk. Daniel, if you are all those things, there's nothing wrong with flaunting it."

"Will you just finish, so the rest of us can get going?" Ember complained.

"I agree with her," Jazz put in. "It seems that you are being rather arrogant."

Vlad merely rolled his eyes. "DANNY-KUUUNNN!"

Those present groaned as the Sue's voice reverberated through the room. "That girl is so un-fly and uncool," complained Technus.

"Fo' sure," Tucker added.

Vlad sighed. "Where's Skulker with that headache medicine?"

"Here!"

Skulker phased through the wall and lightly tossed the bag of herbs at Vlad. The millionaire frowned and raised an eyebrow. "What is this?"

"It's a cure for headache medicine," Skulker explained. "You mix it into tea."

"I'll take some," Danny said. "I don't care what it is."

Vlad pulled the bag back and inspected it carefully before slowly saying, "Exactly what is this, Skulker?"

"Uh…I don't remember."

"This…Skulker, this is _marijuana_!"

"And…?"

"It's illegal!"

"But…but it's supposed to help headaches!"

"Can't you _do anything right_?" Vlad growled, throwing his hands in the air. "For the last time, go to the store, and get some Ibuprofen!"

Skulker vanished immediately. "So…" Danny said slowly. "Why do we do with that?"

Vlad grimaced, but before they could do anything, the door burst open. Isabella smirked and strutted forward, her white teeth shining luminously. "Heh. Now we know what SmexyPhantom is on," Tucker joked.

"Not the time for lame puns!" Danny yelled.

"Dannnny-kun!!!!! You ar ibone!!!1"

"Every ghost for himself!" Technus declared, grabbing Tucker before they vanished.

Jazz vanished with Ember a moment later. "Daniel, hurry!" Vlad yelled as he gathered up the laptop.

"No! I'm tied of this Sue telling me what to do—"

Danny never finished his sentence because the Sue knocked him out with a hug. Vlad vanished. After all, the only way to defeat the Sues was to protect the laptop. There was nothing he could do…

* * *

A frizzy-haired teenager typed her most wonderful story on her computer. Sighing, she leaned back. "Smooth, SmexyPhantom," she praised herself. "You are one sharp writer."

Grinning, the girl turned her attention to the manga beside her and began to read. "Hmm…" she muttered. "Maybe I should move onto the Yu-Gi-Oh fandom next…or maybe the Naruto fandom…or…maybe…Cardcaptor Sakura!"

'Smexy' giggled as she thought of the most original ideas for fanfiction ever—a powerful, half-fairy princess with an eighth Millenium Item, a girl ninja who every girl hated because she was so perfect and had super awesome spirit powers, and…oh! She could try the Avatar fandom, too! Sighing contentedly, Smexy smiled. All was right in the world.

* * *

Author's Note: Yes, I'm still alive! So sorry for the long wait, and I'm trying to get back into this story, so no worries. Lots of news, though.

Firstly, there's a Danny Phantom Mary Sue contest on DA. Just search for it, and you should be able to find it. It's being held by the user JackandDannysGirl. Something you all might enjoy. I haven't actually contacted the contest holder, yet, but I'm thinking (if she agrees) I might offer the winners a guest appearance in this fic. Either way, I think you ought to all check it out.

Secondly, this is a special chapter, so all your reviews will be going to Vlad and me—instead of Smexy and me. Next chapter, I'll answer your reviews for last chapter and so forth. There's also one more hack coming up, so anyone who was going to send a hack and never did…well, I'm picking this story back up, so feel free.

Finally, I'm thinking of doing a Smexy Christmas special on YouTube, or something. I'm not any good at making videos, though…still, I'm going to come up with something.

As always, reviews are appreciated, and I hope you all enjoy Christmas break (I know I will!)


	13. The Justice League of Mary Sues

ALLHAILSMEXYPHANTOM

A young, pale Gothic woman paced around her room. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. She thought she'd finally succeeded in infiltrating and taking over all fandom with her army of Sues, but that Ghost Writer had interfered with her chances of taking the _Danny Phantom _fandom. It was too ironic. After her clever plan of writing _My Immortal_ and using the fic to launch a series of Mary Sue copycats, it'd seemed as if everything was going well. Until that one fandom…

The woman paused beside her computer, and an evil smirk played across her face. It was time for reinforcements.

ALLHAILSMEXYPHANTOM

Jazz and Ember were trapped in a room after vanishing from the room and landing in an unexplained ghost-proof room. Ember growled, unable to phase through the walls. "How is this even possible?" the ghost complained.

Jazz shrugged when she noticed _The Soopr Gost Gurl_ sitting beside her. She flipped it open and noticed most of the pages were blank, except for the middle, which was written in purple gel pen. "What happened to the book? It was full…"

"That's not the same book," replied Ember, peering over Jazz's shoulder. "See the cover?"

Jazz turned the pink book over and read the title. _Eh Joostice leeg of tehh Soopr gost girls- un croosovr._

"Do you think it will explain what's going on?" Jazz asked.

"Maybe," Ember replied, and the two girls sat down to read.

_Hai11! Mi name is kawaiicherry10luvsedward y I am tehh bestest righter ever wif me best friend smexyphantom!111 tis is un crossover so I know you luves it1111!_

_ My cariiter is name Doctor ravenetta an she is amazing1!111111 o pero did I menshum I sumtim sep in spanes y frenc cuxi no sooooooooooooooo man langages! So yeah111111 heres me story.1111_

Ember and Jazz exchanged a worried glance with each other. "This is going to be very bad," Jazz muttered.

_Doctor ravenetta was tehh mas doccter in the mundo wold she was soooooo smart tat she didn wvn have to go to collage111 (shes smarttt just lik me hero SmexyPhantom! Long lived smexy111 she is un goddesss of all goo rittters111111111)_

"What's a goo ritter?" asked Tucker as he walked through the wall.

"How did you do that?" Jazz asked.

Tucker frowned. "I don't know; I didn't see that wall there. I just walked in…"

Tucker pressed his hands against the wall. "I'm trapped!"

"So are we," muttered Jazz.

"Reading the story?"

"A crossover," replied Jazz.

"Well, there's nothing better to do."

_Dr ravenetta is very hot pollo11111! She has wings y lived in Japan and is carpe diem and unazmons y she has bin in ever fandooom _

"Fandoom? That's good," said Tucker. "We should start calling horrible fandoms 'fandoom'."

"Are you trying to start an internet meme?" Jazz asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Yes. Why not? It's a great idea!"

"And why do you hang out with him?" muttered Ember.

"Hey, I'm cool!" Tucker protested, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, right," said Jazz. "You spend all your time chatting with girls on Gaia, pretending to be a hot, teenage supermodel."

"I do not! I only do that four times a week!"

Jazz and Ember exchanged a glance, and the latter resumed reading.

_Any revenette was best boods wif Isabella an wen tey wore boried they desided to sare danny1111 (ka I no wants you alls a finking! Tat I cannnt do a senne betterer than me hero but I willl trieddd11111 __Je suis un idiot stupide et dois être fermé à clef vers le haut dans un asylum.11111! wetuyt is teeehh sine!111_

"I bet she used Babelfish for that French," muttered Tucker.

"Actually…" said Ember, "I don't think she did. I'm pretty sure she just said 'I'm a stupid idiot and need to be put in an asylum."

"You speak French?" asked Jazz.

Ember shrugged. "I needed to sing one of my songs in French for a concert in Canada."

_N her we oneb1! Repootroie111_

As it was, Smexy had nothing on that writer. She wrote a scene so horrible that Tucker nearly went into a seizure halfway through the passage. Jazz bravely read through it, and when it was finished even Ember looked very disturbed. "Dear heavens!" Tucker gasped, "And I thought SmexyPhantom was bad! This writer…"

"Do _not _call her a writer," Jazz demanded. "This is…ugh!"

"Maybe we should stop," said Tucker.

"Scared, dipstick?"

"No, I'm disgusted. Aren't you?"

Ember didn't answer. Jazz sighed. "No, I mean, this is the only clue we have. Maybe there's something in it. We have to read it."

Taking deep breaths, Jazz tentatively continued reading.

_Ate the soopr hott sexi ravenisha an isablll had som plum wif danna _

"Plum?" Tucker asked. "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Jazz and Ember rolled there eyes. "La-ame," Ember said.

_Tey dsiisded to cumpo sum luv potty to danne 9i is noo gooded at writtening poeti so I asded smexy-my edol 2 help me cuz sh kin ritted it an wes gonni do I in spanissh 1 of ttteh romanshic langwuges1111_

"That's stupid," said Ember. "French is a romantic language, too, and Raven…or whatever her name is speaks it, so why does she need Smexy?"

"Quite frankly, I'm just astonished that she _knows _what a romantic language is," Jazz said. "Well, here we go."

_Dannneh es el bestioso guy in the moooondo!_

_An I lubs him sooooo muc es moi espantoso!_

_Mi ama mi ama mi ama mama mia!_

_Es soooo mass cunados tenn mi tia!_

_Porque empiaza nadar _

_Me gustaga cuando ell vola en_

_Tehh azula seeloe _

Tucker muttered something under his breath, and Jazz paused in her reading. "What did you say?" she asked.

"¿Por que no te callas, Smexy? It's Spanish for 'Why don't you just shut-up'."

"You speak Spanish?" Jazz asked.

Tucker shrugged. "No, it's an internet meme in the Spanish community."

_Me amooou danny _

_El es moi hermosoe y viajhay_

_Me yomo es isabella y _

_Teeinay bwanea swartay _

_Porkay tayngoe denni_

"This is just painful," muttered Jazz.

Ember nodded in agreement. "And I can't even understand what she's saying."

"I can run it through Babelfish," Tucker offered.

"It'd probably blow up," muttered Jazz.

"I'm gonna try anyway," he said.

"It won't work," Jazz said.

"Done!"

"Seriously? What does it say?"

Tucker frowned. "Well…"

Dannneh is the guy in the moooondo bestioso!  
An I lubs him is sooooo muc moi terrible!  
My love my love my love mama mia !  
Tenn brothers mass is soooo my aunt!  
Because swimming empiaza  
Ell me when flown in gustaga  
Azula tehh seeloe

I amooou danny  
He is moi and viajhay hermosoe  
It is isabella and Yomo  
Bwanea Teeinay swartay  
Tayngoe Porkay denni

Ember rolled her eyes. "The only thing I want to learn to say is that SmexyPhantom needs to be shot."

"Sorry," said Tucker. "My Spanish isn't that good."

"Well, but maybe we've learned something," said Jazz. "This is a huge Sue crossover, so Smexy and this…Raven girl must be from the same universe."

"So?" Ember asked.

"So…maybe if we rewrite this, it'll get us out of here."

"But we don't have anything to write with," Tucker pointed out.

Jazz sighed. "I know, but maybe there's something in that…well, never mind. I suppose we just need to keep reading."

ALLHAILSMEXYPHANTOM

The Gothic woman marched before an army of incredibly beautiful women. "Attention!" she yelled in her gorgeous, musical voice.

Her two generals stood before her. The first Sue was named Mary Sue Victoria Star-Dust Rose Jasmine Sakura-Kawaii-Desu Lavender Athena Lollipop Evette Heart-String Oprah Winfrey Rainbow Fairy-Wing Tiger-Lily Chuck Norris III. The Sue was thin with curves in all the rights places and a voice that made even the holiest of priests fall into fits of lust. Unlike most Sues, her eyes were a solid color—a deep amethyst, but her hair was multicolored, shifting in the sunlight. She was also very unique, being a vampire, werewolf, fairy, and mermaid. Of course, having so much power was a terrible burden. "What is it?" the Sue (who for the sake of the readers shall simply be dubbed Mary) asked, and her heavenly voice rang like a chorus of heavenly angels in heaven.

"There is a fandom rebelling," the Gothic woman replied, "And this is a problem. Obviously. I'm sending the three of you in to fight in a giant crossover to seduce all the males in this fandom. Understand?"

"But how?" asked the second Sue.

The second Sue was named Isabella Andraste Valiant Morgana Le Fay (also known as Christiana Samaenthea Lelithil Draco—Faerieana). Her hair went all the way to the floor but was as light as a feather. It was also multi-colored brown. Her eyes were bright orange because she was the greatest firebender from the Avatar fandom. She also had a track record of seducing most of the male cast-including Aang (after Katara turned evil and tried to kill them all, after which Aang shed a single tear), Zukko (after Mai committed suicide by jumping off a bridge), Iroh (but he was killed because he was a pervert), Sokka (after Suki decided she was a lesbian and fell in love with Ty Lee; then, they both died because the author was a homophobe). She also seduced the Fire Lord (well, he tried to seduce her, but Aangy-poo killed him). It was so hard having so many men want her.

The Gothic woman shrugged her elegant shoulders. "I don't know. Join in the crossover. Take your own lovers with you if you wish."

The two Sues smiled. "To the crossover!"

ALLHAILSMEXYPHANTOM

_kkkk. I is gonna lit me freend mrsaang do tiis pate!_

Jazz raised an eyebrow. "Maybe this author will be better," Tucker said.

_Isabella valiant mogana le fayawery6tu7i8olkyjhtil uiu7ythjk srrrryyy 1111 isabbllla is my carries nammm u copeeeer!11111111 awettr ewygi ih _

"And maybe I'll choke to death on a flying alligator," Ember said, deadpan. "You know what I don't get? Why they don't edit this."

Jazz shrugged. "It sounds like Smexy's mad, though, about another character named Isabella."

"Why do you think that?" asked Tucker.

"She gets….colorful."

_I hoped u goooo to heannn cusz u s hinking SLOOOTF!11 an y do tuu go die cuz u stoleded mi ORAGENAAAL name u BRITCH! N porque no taay nosht noah! No tuggen! A I hops a cat eets u n tehh stain etts tehh kat! Oabetryuyjuyhgf uotrn yttue hutrwae ou86679n 578 jgf eyu t7i _

_ Aerghjyu7i7o8ht yuikjyt_

_ kk., I am going to call my character Morgana, so I don't have to fight with Smexy over this. We're working on this crossover together, and I am mature and want to avoid conflict._

"It's a coherent sentence!" gasped Tucker. "I knew that we'd seen so many bad authors there had to be a good one somewhere!"

Jazz looked doubtful.

_The beautiful Morgana leaned her head against her Aangy-poo's shoulder. A messenger dude came and said, "Morgana, we have discovered you are Aang's half-sister."_

_ Morgana cried a single tear. "Lies!"_

_ Then, she angsted. Angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, angst. "Hey, Morgana," said Aang. "It's okay if you're my half-sister. We can still…you know."_

Jazz looked horrified. Ember was struggling to maintain her composure. "At least the writing is better," Tucker said, his voice sounding strangled.

_"Let's go be passionate and make-out!" declared Morgana._

_ And they made out passionately. Morgana's tongue was soft like a feather and wet like the ocean. Aang stroked her hair. Her hair was gold like gold and soft like silk. Her eyes were blue-green-red like a peacock. Her hands were delicate like china. Her fingers were long like spiders. Her eyelashes were black clouds of feathers. Her lips were ripe cherries. Her ears were delicate wings. Her eyebrows were delicate and sculpted. Her arms were lilies. Her nose was a white dove. Her waist was petite. Her feet were velvet. Her legs were a work of art. She was beautiful. Her body was sculpted by the gods, goddesses, spirits, demigods, and spirits. _

"Dear heavens, that's a long description!" Jazz exclaimed.

"Not to mention ridiculous," Tucker said. "Fingers like spiders? How is that a good thing?"

"Her nose is a white dove?" Ember asked. "It sounds like it's about to fly off her face."

Jazz snorted in amusement. Her amusement was short-lived for then came a _scene_, a scene that was even worse because she could actually read everything it said. She stopped halfway through. "He…he…they…I have no idea what airbending is, but…it's…oh…!"

Bravely, Ember took the book and read on.

_Her bellybutton was small and round like a small pearl. Her skin was ivory like an alabaster statue or an ivory statue. She was warm like warmth. Aeryhtraey teeeres no nuff Isabella!111 ok. FINE!_

_ When they were done, a girl named Isabella arrived, and she joined them. _

"NO!" Jazz, Ember, and Tucker yelled.

_ Hee, Heee, not lik tat pervs!_

They sighed in relief.

_"oh we haf to protect me dannykins from tehh evilly smellantha!'_

_ 'kk!' sad morgan an anny-ppo._

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Tucker.

"Me, too," replied Jazz.

"Well, it's almost over," said Ember. "It's just the reviews."

_Musiclover9419: wat do u mean! Corss I is 23!_

"Hey, I just thought of something," said Tucker. "Did you notice how this story is dated a year after the first?"

"Yeah, so?" asked Jazz.

"Smexy resuming fanfic writing must be what brings about the end of the world in 2012."

Jazz rolled her eyes.

_E-Dantes: thankies! U aree sooooooo nice! Sum PEPLE JUST DON'T GET HOW HARD IS IT TO RITE A GOOD STORY!11111_

"Yeah, and you're one of them," said Ember.

_Sciencefreak330: DANNY PHAN does NOT hatte me!_

"I can assure you that he does," said Jazz.

_The Discord: u is sooooo mean! Why wold u want me to di? Don't u no how many pepple wold be crushed if I died?_

"I can't think of any," said Tucker. "How about you, Jazz?"

"Nope."

_Hermystar: pppel do not kill theirselves after reading my stor!_

"Only because I don't have a knife handy," grumbled Tucker.

_PPGBelle4" wats syanide?_

"Do you think she meant cyanide?" asked Tucker.

Ember shrugged. "I don't care anymore; I'm tired of her stupidity.

_Torgo: yeees! I wanna go to target praktise with yu!_

"I wonder if Smexy's the target," mused Jazz.

"If she is, I might just take up archery," replied Ember with a smirk.

_Alexia Moonlight: I taked the mary soo test n I got ahhhh I only gotted 432!_

"She got _four-hundred, thirty-two _on the Mary Sure test!" gasped Jazz. "If you get fifty, you're supposed to kill it!"

_SOLmaster: I ill not quiet riting!_

"But oh, how we wish you would," said Tucker.

_E350: I is noo an idot!_

"I officially diagnose SmexyPhantom as a compulsive liar," said Jazz.

_Rainbowstrike: ur justi gelus cuz yo didn't think o this stor!_

"Yeah, Smexy, I'm sure that's it," said Tucker.

_Kagaminespice: I gradoooated from harverd!_

"Harvard?" screeched Jazz. "_Harvard? _How _dare _she abuse the name of that noble university!"

_DarkAngel555: no1 can rite more gooder than me!_

Tucker edged away from Jazz as she started shaking.

_Twinkie: donnt insult me I decided to take these comments because you made smexy cry because you are a mean jerk with nothing better to do than to insult hardworking authors oh and this is sooprsmexymansonlover_

"Oh, hey, I forgot about him," said Tucker.

"Forget him!" yelled Ember. "Someone made SmexyPhantom cry! Yes!"

_Nerd Lover: smexys well thought out and complex characters are not like Barbie_

"Yeah," said Jazz. "I was thinking they were more like demons myself."

_The Classic Platy: thank you I am glad to see someone appreciates good literature_

"YOU DARE CALL THIS TRAVESTY LITERATURE!" Jazz yelled, pointing at the book. "BOOKWORM RAGE!"

"Jazz, whoa, calm down!" said Tucker. "Don't let Smexy get to you!"

Jazz took a few deep breaths, and Ember raised an eyebrow and continued.

_AProcrastinatingWriter: kk tis is smexy mi frend mad me feel better but I cannnt red your comint becuz your speling is atoshus!_

"And hers _isn't_?" asked Tucker.

_Crazy-wolf: u is crazz my charries a rim-mortal!_

"Oh, dear heavens," said Tucker. "If these Sues really are immortal, I'm just going to end it all now."

"Well, at least that chapter's over," said Jazz, "But nothing happened. I thought that maybe when we finished it, we'd…be able to leave or something."

"We're probably stuck until more of the story gets rewritten," said Tucker.

"Or until we finish," said Ember, sounding almost hesitant.

"Well," said Jazz. "I guess…chapter two of the crossover?"

ALLHAILSMEXYPHANTOM

Author's Note: Yes, I'm still alive, and I really have no excuse for the long wait. However, I do have two hacks (one of which is really old, but yes, I still have it) and the next two chapters written except for the review responses, and I'm sticking this out to the end. We are going to finish this story within the year.

You guys really owe this update to a couple people but mainly to the hack I received last week and a certain reader who hunted me down on DeviantArt and demanded to know why I hadn't updated. Said person also mentioned I now have my own TVTropes page, and if she went through all the work of setting it up, she wanted an update. So here's an update. Also, apparently, there are some people on Gaia that read this. Well, if you're still reading it, that shout-out was for you. Also, I think I may have confused some people. You write a review to whoever writes the story in the chapter. If the character's are reading Smexy's story, you can write reviews to her. If the characters are reading Vlad's story, you write reviews to him and so forth. This also means that chapter 12's reviews will be answered in another chapter, while I will cover chapter 11 here.

So the schedule? Next chapter is a hack. Then, we get to see what Vlad thinks about his reviews, followed by more Smexy and another hack!

_Lizcandoitbetter: _I'm glad to have amused you.

Random Person: Okay, okay! Here's your update!

Crazy-Wolf: Thank you! I'm very flattered, and yeah…I'm not big on ocs either. Now I have seen them done well—incredibly well, sometimes, but there are so many bad self-inserts, it's hard not to be skeptical sometimes.

Pikapika: Thank you!

Paladin Wolfe: Anyone can join B.A.G.S.! But…have you ever heard of _My Immortal_? It's an infamous _Harry Potter _fanfic and one of the worst ever written for grammar and spelling.

AProcrastinatingWriter: You know…I don't generally like the thought of killing people, but I do think having Dan escape from the Fenton Thermos and murdering Smexy would be quite satisfying…

The Classic Platy: Well, firstly, I'm glad you like the story. As for the Sues…well, I guess they came from a few places. Isabella was partially inspired by Bella Swann of _Twilight _and Arya of _The Inheritance Cycle_. I read both series and I realized that they were both—in their own ways—unrealistically perfect. They just had everything going for them. Incidentally, I also got into fanfiction at the same time, and fics about random girls gaining ghost powers and hooking up with Danny grew on me, and so Isabella and Elizabeth were born (though 'spawned' might be a better term).

Nerd Lover: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. The next ghost will probably be Dani Phantom, as she's going to appear in Smexy's story very soon.

Twinkie: Yes, the thought of people like Isabella and Elizabeth existing in real life is nothing short of horrifying…

DarkAngel555: Mercy me! If I'm causing you to choke on food, perhaps you should invest in some life insurance! But more seriously, thank you for the review. It's much appreciated.

Niece of the Prophet Zarquon: You're right. I can't have everyone becoming friends…though I imagine they're only united in their hatred of Smexy. They'll go back to fighting as soon as she's gone…unless there's a sequel…

Preemtive Karma: Yep! The Sues are going down!

Iliketacosxgirfan: What do you mean are there really Sues out there? That's absolutely ridiculous! Hey…what's that shadow behind me? OH MYaertyui7yvev

Kagaminespice: Ah! I love Silent Hill!

Rainbowstrike: Thank you! And really there's no limit on hacks. I post them when I get them. I currently have two that I need to post, but after that, nope.

E350: Thanks! Yeah, I'm not sure why, but writing those raps are my favorite part…

SOLmaster: Thanks! Yes, poor Danny. He's going to need so much therapy…

Torgo: You know; I honestly hadn't even considered having Lancer read this! That's a really great idea!

PPGBelle4: Thanks a bunch! Yes, poor Danny…

Alexia Moonlight: Firstly, I wanted to thank you for staying with this all the way from the beginning. Secondly, I wanted to say that yes, I really did take the Sue test and end up with that score for Isabella.

HermyStar: Thanks!

The Discord: Thanks, and don't worry; Xavier will definitely get his due.

Nut and Shell: I can honestly say that ending up in the same hospital as SmexyPhantom is my worst nightmare.

Sciencefreak330: lol. Thanks. Honestly, I like writing Xavier more because I can just imagine someone speaking in this monotone voice without taking a breath every time he writes.

E-Dantes: Thanks! ;)

Musiclover9419: Well, I can't write too much Smexy, or she'll kill my computer.

Jespbh: No prob.


End file.
